Would you let your kids watch R rated movies?

Parent Cafe
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<p>“Are previews good indicators or do you look for other sources in making your decision to bring your child, if as some of you say, it depends on the movie.”</p>

<p>Previews are a good indicator. I would also check out why the movie is R-rated.</p>

<p>I’ll probably get flamed for this, but I’m putting it out there: I (as a high-schooler) also use usccb.org, which is the site for the United States Council of Catholic Bishops. They basically have reviews of every movie that comes out, and most old movies are reviewed too. They have a system like kids or something, A1 (adults), AII, AIII, and L (limited audience – very disturbing movie), and then O, morally offensive. The rankings are a bit off: Shrek was like AII, and you can ignore O if you’re not religious, but they also have reasons WHY they are rated what they are. Some of them are religion-based, such as discussion of euthanasia (Million-Dollar Baby) or abortion, but mostly it’s just violence/swearing/nudity (more deeply explained than the “Rated R for…” </p>

<p>Also, an even better site: [SCREEN</a> IT! ENTERTAINMENT REVIEWS FOR PARENTS](<a href=“http://www.screenit.com/]SCREEN”>http://www.screenit.com/) This one has reviews for most movies (although you may need to join to get the newest ones, like the ones that came out in the last week). They go category-by-category, discussing language, bad influences, violence, blood-gore, nudity, irresponsible behavior, alcohol/drugs, etc. in each movie. A very thorough site.</p>

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<p>Here’s another great website that does not require membership, and for quick reference nets it out into 3 rated categories: sex, violence and profanity, and also gives detailed descriptions: [Kids-In-Mind:</a> Movie Ratings That Actually Work](<a href=“http://www.kids-in-mind.com%5DKids-In-Mind:”>http://www.kids-in-mind.com)</p>

<p>Here’s its review for Schindler’s List: [Schindler’s</a> List [1994] - 6.10.5](<a href=“http://www.kids-in-mind.com/s/schindlers_list_1994__6105.htm]Schindler’s”>http://www.kids-in-mind.com/s/schindlers_list_1994__6105.htm)</p>

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<p>Baelor: We use usccb.org for movie reviews also. I’ve found that I pretty much agree with the rating system used; the thoroughness of the reviews helps with any decision-making process. I particularly enjoy looking through the choices for each year’s top ten movies (actually 20 or more, as a top ten for families is included - and also runner-ups are sometimes mentioned). We have watched some really good movies that might have otherwise been missed (this past year: Lars and the Real Girl, Martian Child, 3:10 to Yuma).</p>

<p>Also look at Kids-in-Mind - it’s a quick way to glance at the content of a movie.</p>

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<p>I certainly hope that by letting my kids watch R-rated movies I wasn’t “condoning” or “endorsing” the R-rated behavior in them. I let my kids watch Schindler’s List, but actually I am pretty opposed to genocide in general, and the Shoah in particular. I did try to communicate that to my children, and I am fairly certain that the movie didn’t convince them that the Shoah was OK.</p>

<p>If I could, though, I might have tried to prevent them from seeing The Princess Diaries. That movie made me positively ill with its horrible, disgusting moral, political, AND artistic values. I wasn’t so hot on The Lion King, either, which I think does promote fascism. However, I chose to let my children watch these no-redeeming-social-value movies, and to discuss my objections with them, rather than banning them altogether. In the end, I thought the former course was a better way to communicate my values.</p>

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<p>Baelor, I have decided not to respond to you, as you’re not making to much sense.</p>

<p>However, JHS, I think that’s a great idea. Kids don’t think, “ooh I can’t watch it, so it must be bad morally”. They, instead, want to know what they’re missing out on. While I do believe parenting only yields the child’s ethics to a certain extent, talking to them about it instead of outright banning something will at least get the parent’s values out on the table.</p>

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<p>Sounds like you need to go look it up yourself as well - the previous poster was correct.</p>

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<p>“Baelor, I have decided not to respond to you, as you’re not making to much sense.”</p>

<p>I’m honestly making a lot of sense. Whether you disagree with me or not is another issue altogether. I re-read my post and couldn’t find any confusing bits. Let me summarize for you:</p>

<p>-Parents have a right to teach kids their values, whatever they may be
-Most parents know that their kids might be doing stuff that goes against the values they have tried to instill in their children
-That doesn’t mean that they have to allow that behavior in their own home</p>

<p>Is that too complicated? Can you understand it now?</p>

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<p>You are right that my post was inaccurate; I apologize, I was in a hurry and should not have posted until I had sufficient time. I was intending to address the poster’s statement that </p>

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<p>In fact, the MPAA in general recommends against children viewing R rated movies.</p>

<p>SL provided the precise defintion - Thank you for that.</p>

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<p>“The parents have a right (and a duty) to uphold the values they want in their home. If they don’t think underage drinking is okay, why would they let their child drink in their own home? Similarly, if they don’t think that adultery and gratuitous and promiscuous sex is okay, why would they let their child watch Unfaithful in their own home? The parents shouldn’t have to sacrifice their own principles in order to cater to the potential (and uncertain) lifestyle choices of their offspring”</p>

<p>Sorry Baelor, your posts are confusing. I thought you were an adult, but I think you are a teen (correct me if I am wrong) and you post with great authority and knowledge on us parents. So are you saying that because I might let my D watch an R movie that may have promiscuous sex in it, My values are saying its okay to have promiscuous sex? WRONG! She knows our views. If we have a talk about sex, does that mean I’m giving her the green light to have sex, Wrong again. </p>

<p>“I know kids who are allowed to do very little. They’re not ignorant, or incapable of making decisions. They know what others do. They know how life works. That doesn’t mean they have to engage in every aspect of it.”</p>

<p>My adult, parent experience is that these kids do not know how life works and sometimes make bad choices.</p>

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<p>Many video games are a lot more violent than R movies now.</p>

<p>And a lot of kids get to porn web sites or receive porn video clips via email.</p>

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<p>Coolweather brings up another point, how do you guys feel about violent video games, is it less of an issue than movies, as much of an issue, more of an issue?</p>

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<p>“I thought you were an adult, but I think you are a teen (correct me if I am wrong) and you post with great authority and knowledge on us parents.”</p>

<p>I am indeed a teen, speaking from the experience my parents have had with their children. They are surprisingly open to having conversations about their parenting, so I’m speaking from their perspective. I love the condescension though, it’s quite becoming. ;)</p>

<p>“o are you saying that because I might let my D watch an R movie that may have promiscuous sex in it, My values are saying its okay to have promiscuous sex? WRONG!”</p>

<p>I’m sorry, I was unclear and did not word my thought correctly. I should have drawn a more exact example: The child may have sex outside of the house. She may have it in college. She may be involved in promiscuous relationships all she wants. The parents don’t have to let her have sex in the house.</p>

<p>Parents realize that their kids may watch R-rated movies all they want in college or in high school. That doesn’t mean that they have to let them watch them in their house.</p>

<p>“She knows our views. If we have a talk about sex, does that mean I’m giving her the green light to have sex, Wrong again.”</p>

<p>I never claimed that at all. Also, please realize that what I was saying was not what I was thinking. It’s odd that you had that interpretation, because I wasn’t even thinking about “things in movies = doing them in real life” at all. I apologize for my misrepresentation of my thought.</p>

<p>“My adult, parent experience is that these kids do not know how life works and sometimes make bad choices.”</p>

<p>They are as responsible as the ones who are already allowed to make bad choices. I’m not completely ignorant myself, despite my age. I know a responsible young adult when I see one. I haven’t found any correlation between responsibility and the ability to make whatever decisions one pleases. When you’re stilling buying that iPhone or those Citizens of Humanity jeans using daddy’s plastic and not thinking about paying for anything (or how you would even pay), you’re not responsible, or at least knowledgeable about how life works. At least I don’t kid myself about my current inability to live in the “real world” where I would have to pay for everything.</p>

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<p>I find it silly whenever parents rely only on a rating system to decide which movie their child will watch. I think it would be irresponsible if parents limited which books their children could read based on a government’s rating system. This seems no different…it just seems like an excuse to let parents be lazy and not make them research the movie. Generally, these systems are conservative (what’s worse for a politician…a parent realizing their kid has watched a sex-scene or a sixteen year old not being allowed to watch age-appropriate material?), and so many kids end up not seeing material that would be perfectly suitable for their age.</p>

<p>Just my thoughts…</p>

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<p>“They are as responsible as the ones who are already allowed to make bad choices. I’m not completely ignorant myself, despite my age. I know a responsible young adult when I see one. I haven’t found any correlation between responsibility and the ability to make whatever decisions one pleases. When you’re stilling buying that iPhone or those Citizens of Humanity jeans using daddy’s plastic and not thinking about paying for anything (or how you would even pay), you’re not responsible, or at least knowledgeable about how life works. At least I don’t kid myself about my current inability to live in the “real world” where I would have to pay for everything.”</p>

<p>Huh? :rolleyes:</p>

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<p>I was reading reviews for mirrors and this grandmother said that she took her grandauthers ages 7,10, and 13. Does that make any sense? I saw most of it and there were a few disturbing scenes in there such as the beginning scene where the mirror makes a guy slit his throat so blood gushes all over the screen and the scene where Ben’s sister is in the tub and mirror reflection pulls her jaw completely out of the socket so blood rushes into the tub and we see an obviously painful and unusual death. There is no way in heck I would let a 7 year old see that stuff. But trailers do not show this graphic content in movies, unless it is red band.</p>

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<p>“Huh?”</p>

<p>Yeah, it was kind of confusing, wasn’t it? Well, the rest of the post is what’s important anyway. ;)</p>

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<p>I’m the one who told my son I was disappointed in him when he brought home all those R-rated movies right after turning 17. Of course I let him watch them, and by letting him know I was disappointed, he knows my values. Unfortunately, knowing mom is disappointed isn’t going to stop him from doing some things. I can only hope that in the long-run, he’ll come to share our family values. I caught my 13 yr. old son and his friends getting ready to watch one of them, too, but I didn’t allow that, even though I know his friends’ parents wouldn’t mind. One of these friends was playing Grand Theft Auto before he could tie his own shoes.</p>

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<p>“One of these friends was playing Grand Theft Auto before he could tie his own shoes.”</p>

<p>I had a kid like that…only he was playing NHL Hockey on the computer (and reading the instructions) before he was potty-trained. The computer was so much more FUN.</p>

<p>My other thought was “I had a kid like that…really slow to learn to tie his shoes. Thank goodness for Velcro.” :D</p>

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<p>“I haven’t found any correlation between responsibility and the ability to make whatever decisions one pleases”</p>

<p>Tell me this is a joke. Being responsible is making decisons on your own. Like I said, you’re not making sense.</p>

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<p>Bay, the MPAA’s language is a bit more nuanced. In particular, they say that R-rated pictures are generally not appropriate for <em>young</em> children, not just children. Important distinction in my mind, though of course they don’t define young. </p>

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