<p>My crystal ball tells me that the wife didn’t apologize, but rather told him he was being ridiculous, she had no idea, etc.</p>
<p>I have a professional music friend with a collection of guitars that are apparantly very rare and very expensive. He lets everyone who enjoys his music touch or play his guitars. He grew up with several siblings and he was never the kind of person that held his possessions as being more important than relationships. </p>
<p>I think this scenario could be used for almost anything that one person has and loves. It does not just apply to instruments that are expensive. Again, people who do not lend or allow others to touch, use, look at or whatever are just plain odd. To have such extreme love of an inanimate object seems unusual to me. However, I am a neat freak, so if anyone touchs my stuff, and I don’t care what it is, and they don’t put it back just as I had it, I do get ****y. So I guess we all have our quirks.</p>
<p>Hunt, you got rid of comic books?? [Rare</a> comic-book collection auctioned for $3.5 million](<a href=“http://www.philly.com/philly/entertainment/140090803.html]Rare”>http://www.philly.com/philly/entertainment/140090803.html)</p>
<p>I also would not want anyone to play my harmonicas!</p>
<p>I kept the ones that are worth millions of dollars.</p>
<p>I wish. I think I might have one that’s worth a couple of thousand bucks, depending on condition.</p>
<p>Again, people who do not lend or allow others to touch, use, look at or whatever are just plain odd.</p>
<p>There is a difference between being generous with your own things & being generous with * someone else’s* things.</p>
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</p>
<p>Some things are very personal and you don’t want to run the risk of someone breaking them. Especially for as valuable as some guitars can be.
And, like EK said, they weren’t HER things.</p>
<p>Some couples share the same toothbrush. Others don’t.</p>
<p>Boy do you guys like to start a fight. ;)</p>
<p>My husband actually does have a couple of very valuable cars. Not only would I not allow someone else to drive them, I wouldn’t drive them myself.</p>
<p>he once handed me the keys to run an errand, and I handed back the keys and got out my own. If something happened to those cars on my watch, I’d feel horrible. But, I have a bunch of first edition books, and some very rare written works, and he let a friend look at them one time when I was late home.</p>
<p>He had no clue that they weren’t for other people. I’m always pushing books on people. he thought I’d be thrilled someone wanted to look at a book, ANY book. I wasn’t angry. I just 'splained it to him. No harm, no foul.</p>
<p>I have some pretty valuable books. If someone wants to look at them, I’m happy to show them, but <em>I</em> take them off the shelf, open them up, etc. I wouldn’t be too happy if H had a friend over and let that person handle them. Not everyone knows how to handle a rare book, or a musical instrument, and damage can be done.</p>
<p>(I should add that H has never done this, and I doubt he would - he knows how I feel about my books!)</p>
<p>Community property is only applicable in divorce courts. We all have things that we have intimate attachments to, and it’s not just because they are intrinsically valuable. For H it’s his Martin guitar and for me it’s my collection of prints, paintings and books. We had a house guest for Christmas, who told me that when he asked H about a painting, H said :“That’s Musica’s. I am not even allowed to point at them. Wait till she gets home.”</p>
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Smart man!
[Doh</a>! Dept: The $40-Million Elbow : The New Yorker](<a href=“http://www.newyorker.com/archive/2006/10/23/061023ta_talk_paumgarten]Doh”>The $40-Million Elbow | The New Yorker)</p>
<p>Is there a chance the wife, proudly showing off her house, didn’t monitor her friends and one of them grabbed a guitar (not realizing how valuable it was) and strummed a few chords? Were these friends also musicians? Not sure if that would have made it better or worse. </p>
<p>H gave away a framed poster that was a wedding gift from my favorite art history professor. Gave it to our sitter so her son had someplace to put his mutant ninja turtle poster in. He’s done that with a few other things too. In his mind, if it’s not important to him, it’s not important.</p>
<p>I am not allowed to even talk about H’s guitar. Since: “everything you say about it is wrong”.</p>
<p>The rule is: Do not even touch a musician’s instrument unless that person hands it to you. Yes, many (most? vast majority?) are that possessive. The many hours spent practicing results in a kind of intimate relationship. Also, it is very likely that you don’t know *** you are doing with it.</p>
<p>I agree with EMK … there’s clearly something else going on here.</p>
<p>Another in the you can look but don’t touch my stuff if I am not there. Most everyone needs some things that are very much personal to just them. Most would enjoy showing and telling others about them. But don’t assume it is OK to hand them over just because I’m not around.</p>
<p>I have two “veenas” - south Indian stringed musical instruments valued at $2-4,000 and would love it if my wife would show them to folks and allow them to play them. (Of course, not many people would know how…)</p>
<p>I used a bunch of my H’s shirts from past running races as smocks at my daughter’s fourth birthday party. I didn’t know he viewed them as “momentos”. I thought they were just old running shirts. Really. </p>
<p>He knew it was an honest mistake and wasn’t angry but he was really upset and I still feel badly about it. It turns out that they were a big deal to him…now I know. He has acquired many more over the years and they live happily in his dresser often never to be worn again.</p>
<p>I think the issue is whether the wife knew how the husband felt and let people handle the instruments anyway. If she knew then I think his feelings are justified and I would wonder what is going on in their relationship.</p>
<p>I had a musician in the family. He loved it when people touched and awed over his gold and platinum records. Loved it when they picked up pictures with him and …Gently play “his” piano…He used to say, “That is where the magic happens.” But bang on the piano…you’re outta here!</p>
<p>Looking at them is one thing…touching them is another.</p>