<p>I know what my husband would do with the windfall – just stick it in the checking account where it can mingle and get lost. When cleaning out his (deceased) parents house (he was the only heir) he found $1500 in cash. And it went straight into the checking account, and it certainly could have gone into a really nice evening or something fun.</p>
<p>So – when I get a windfall – I hang onto the cash to spend it on things that I don’t want to have to account for. Like another pair of UGGS or a nice handbag etc.</p>
<p>*If you would not tell your spouse, why would you get married? *</p>
<p>This person had been married for years. It’s likely a dynamic developed between the two that had not been anticipated during the dating period.</p>
<p>My dad used to get an amount of money every November from his parents’ investment. My mom wanted to use some towards Christmas expenses. My dad would insist that all of it had to be reinvested. When my mom finally inherited some money after her mom’s death, she kept that money separate so that she could (finally) have more of a say about how money got spent. </p>
<p>It’s largely a generational thing. They were born in the 1920s.</p>
<p>Definitely generational. Money was pooled and there wasn’t a lot of excess.</p>
<p>When my mother finally had her own income (after raising us) she kept it separate and my father was fine with that. By then he didn’t really need it. :)</p>
Receiving a W2 has nothing to do with what you have to pay your taxes on. I get paid cash by some of my clients, I still report the income. If you look at your tax return it specifically asks about gambling winnings. That’s what raffles are.</p>
<p>And of course I’d tell my husband, if nothing else because I would want to do something fun with him.</p>
<p>I would tell my husband, but I certainly understand why this woman would not tell her husband. My father-in-law is very controlling and is the absolute worst when it comes to money! </p>
<p>My husband and I have an understanding with regards to money. What’s mine is mine and what’s his is mine. Works for me, haha!</p>
<p>My parents keep completely separate finances, so I am not sure that my mom would tell my dad. Not really any need to, it would be /her/ money. They, by mutual decision, agree to have separate finances. While some may not agree with that (I don’t think I want ENTIRELY separate finances with my husband to be, my parents squabble about “mine” and “yours” entirely too much for my taste), if she and my father do agree I don’t really have a problem with her not telling him that she’s had a windfall. My dad wouldn’t consider it any of her business if he won anything. Granted, we all know on this forum that my parents are nuts if we’ve been keeping up with other threads, but I think there are some more normal examples of separate finances that would be relevant to this discussion. </p>
<p>I have mostly joint finances with my fiance, and while I would tell him if I’d won some money just because it would be exciting and I’d want to share the news, he wouldn’t think he has any kind of stake in it unless I chose to give one to him. We share because we want to, not because we feel we are obligated to. If we had bills to pay and couldn’t pay them and I was still clinging to that money that would be a problem, but otherwise it would not be an issue for winnings to be “my” money. Unless that were indicative of patterns in other parts of the relationship, which I don’t believe it is in my case, I don’t think that’s particularly a problem.</p>
<p>It has nothing to do with money.
Keeping the secret of her win from her husband empowers your friend.
Being married 50 years is enough to warp the most reasonable person.</p>
<p>It’s a control thing. Control was an accepted of marriages prior to the '60s. The feminist movement occurred for many good reasons. Some, I’m sure, still get married with the word ‘obey’ in the vows. However that need to control is a feature of many relationships, regardless of time period. I’m still amazed at how many women hand over the financial reins in the marriage to a H, due to lack of interest. In the Asian cultures I’m most familiar with, women are in charge money management, which changes the balance of power quite a bit, despite outward appearances. </p>
<p>Engineerjw, in an ideal world, you’re right. Of course you’d want your spouse to know and share. However pathologies of various sorts tend to emerge in relationships with time, and certainly after the vows have been taken. </p>
<p>Hunt, you just may be right! But a hunch tells me otherwise.</p>
<p>I’m with you on the crazy parents, Evanhee, love mine anyways. But after you get married…I have noticed, the people that keep their finances separately from their spouses often have alot of problems. The my money/your money/my windfall belongs to me—doesn’t work very well.</p>
<p>375 dollars is enough to finally get a new cellphone without wating for the upgrade. Right now I need a new cellphone but I’m too cheap to get it before the upgrade. I would call my Husband from my new cell phone, and he would be happy I was finally willing to spend the money. </p>
<p>Really, though, I would just want him to know I won. I have never won a money game of chance ever, except roulette one night at a charity event.</p>
<p>Moneys not a wierd issue in our marriage, but I have noticed it can be one of the worst when it is one.</p>
<p>I would tell my husband and he would tell me. Undoubtedly, our kids would find something(s) on which to spend the windfall because somehow that’s what always happens.</p>
<p>Although I did get a similar-sized windfall as a gift from my office this year and I bought tickets for my husband and son to see the Red Sox at Camden Yards for two games. Partly because I know this is something they love and hubby won’t spring for it, and partly because he bought me something totally over the top for our anniversary this year. Good use of money!</p>
<p>Funny you should mention cell phones, because that’s how this issue came up. I’m pretty sure this woman doesn’t have a cell phone, so I offered her mine in order to call her husband. Her first response was that she didn’t want to interupt him, as he was playing Wii Golf, but then she admitted she may not tell him. How the heck is he playing Wii, while she’s wearing clothes outdated clothes and has no cell phone?</p>
<p>*I would tell my husband and he would tell me. Undoubtedly, our kids would find something(s) on which to spend the windfall because somehow that’s what always happens.</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>LOL…I had a heck of a time convincing my H not to tell our kids everytime he got a bonus or promotion. The kids thought that these things meant more things for them. Finally, he realized that he only needed to tell me. ;)</p>
<p>My brothers and I have mineral rights to some land in Louisiana, which has in past years, yielded some decent returns. However, it is split between us and about 40 of our nearest and dearest cajun relatives, so while very much appreciated, it’s nothing to quit a job over.</p>
<p>Since when I die, my rights pass down to my kids, of course I told them about it. However, I found out that one of my brothers (gee, big surprise, the one I have the most issues with) has not told his adult kids about the money. I don’t get it… it’s not like he and his wife haven’t completely indulged them over the years anyway (buying them nice cars, townhouses, etc.)</p>
<p>Yes, I’d tell him. Unless it’s a $5 instant coupon or something that just gets swallowed by the events of the day. I certainly would not deliberately not tell him. And he would be ever so thrilled for me.</p>