<p>One of my friends, or maybe I should say, acquaintances, won $375 in a 50/50 raffle this morning. I was so happy for her. We went to lunch and I asked her if she called her husband to give him the good news. She answered, “No”, and went on to say that maybe she wasn’t going to tell him about it. This woman just celebrated her 50th wedding anniversary, so her answer really floored me. I guess relationships and money are more complicated than I can imagine. From what I know of this woman, $375 is a lot of money to her.</p>
<p>I would tell my partner, but then maybe this woman’s husband is the type to try and snap up any money that comes in for his own purposes. Maybe she has a good reason to keep it to herself.</p>
<p>I can’t imagine NOT telling my husband. I would want to spend it on something fun and frivolous, and it would be nice to share that with him. </p>
<p>People are funny with money.</p>
<p>I know a lot of people, many of them seniors, who wouldn’t share the news with a spouse. Maybe it’s because I watched an “I Love Lucy” marathon this weekend, but in some couples of a certain generation, the Little Woman waits for her husband to dole out the spending money - so a raffle win would seem like a windfall.</p>
<p>I’d tell my husband - now what could we do or buy for $375?</p>
<p>If you have a good marriage, you tell your spouse, celebrate and enjoy it together. In another sort of marriage, where one person has less power, she might have little say in how it is spent or saved. This might be a much valued personal windfall, and a joy to contemplate spending, or gifting, without being harassed about her choices.</p>
<p>2 thoughts:</p>
<p>1) he has always had control of the purse strings so she is hesitant to share the news
2) she wants to use the money to surprise him with a gift</p>
<p>If she hid it from her H, and they file joint tax return, is she going to hide it from the IRS?</p>
<p>I’ve never won 375 in a drawing (heck, i never win anything) but is that something you put on your taxes? it’s not like a 50/50 drawing is going to send you a W2 or anything.</p>
<p>I’d tell my boyfriend - I’d take us out for a nice dinner and probably put the rest in my bank for my rainy day fund. Which reminds me that I want to buy a new pair of shoes. :)</p>
<p>I would think most husbands would want to share in their wife’s joy, and vice versa, so it must have something to do with power. I guess I should be even more happy that she won it. She is the sweetest woman!</p>
<p>It is probably generational, but if she doesn’t want to tell her H because he is controlling about money/she is less powerful in the relationship/etc., it just seems very sad to me, and shows a basic lack of respect for one another by both parties. </p>
<p>The only way I would not tell H about something like that is if I were intending to surprise him in some way. I would feel it was lying by omission.</p>
<p>I’d definitely tell my H! </p>
<p>Though sometimes I share my bargain-hunting “wins” and he doesn’t get all excited about that…</p>
<p>My folks & we always tell spouse about any wins (or losses) and even splurges. H bought an expensive ($80 cleaner) and I’m taking a pricey ($255) class. We have always shared about wins–big & little, as have our folks who recently celebrated their 50th anniversary (we’re only approaching our 25th). I think sharing the info is part of the fun of winning. Not quite sure what we’d do with a win, but we’d try to figure it out together. :). He gave his $10 jamba card door prize to S (after offering it to me).</p>
<p>In another sort of marriage, where one person has less power, she might have little say in how it is spent or saved. This might be a much valued personal windfall, and a joy to contemplate spending, or gifting, without being harassed about her choices.</p>
<p>bingo.</p>
<p>Yes, it can be tough when one is always being controlled or trumped/vetoed by one’s spouse, especially about $$$ matters. 50 years of that would really get irritating!</p>
<p>It wouldn’t occur to me not to tell my husband. Then again, we make the same salary and all major money decisions are made together. We never argue or ration money on the other person. Then again, if her husband was the breadwinner, doling out money and questioning her, treating her as an unequal partner…nope, wouldn’t tell him. Don’t think I’d want to be married to someone like that, either.</p>
<p>I would probably buy him two tickets in the semi-cheap section for a home game for his favorite hockey team, and still have a little money left for a 45 minute deep tissue massage for both of us at the local spa. </p>
<p>He has a bad back, so I am not sure what he would like more. I know which one I would like!</p>
<p>Hey, try groupon or living social for those massages. You can get them 50-75% off. Then you could get your couples massage and and extra one (plus a facial) for you, for those lucky winnings!</p>
<p>Hiding money from my DH wouldn’t work for us, but this woman has been married 50 years. I’m not going to second-guess.</p>
<p>Would not occur to me to keep secret of windfall money (or much else) from DH of 30 yrs.</p>
<p>I’m the money manager spouse in our house but we routinely discuss money issues. Should we increase retirement savings? Buy the new car this year? Replace the fence that’s falling down? Take a vacation? It’s all on the table.</p>
<p>But then I have a friend whose husband announced at dinner that he’d bought a new car earlier that day…with no consultation with her. Works OK for them, wouldn’t fly at our house.</p>
<p>If you would not tell your spouse, why would you get married?</p>