<p>I am currently on a 2 month “garden leave.” It means I am on a paid leave by my ex-exmployer until I start my new job. This is the longest time off I’ve ever had. I used to wake up everyday at 6am, even on weekends, now I am waking up past 7am. I don’t worry about having to get to bed early on weeknights. I am not carrying my BB with me every where. People don’t wake me up in the middle of night because of “crisis.”</p>
<p>I should be happy and very relaxed, but I am kind of bored. I miss having a schedule, going to meetings and feel like I am needed. I started to watch some day time shows, going to grocery stores, calling up insurance company about why certain claims haven’t been paid, paying a lot of attention to D2…We have a beach vacation coming up, so I could be more relaxed, but if I am any more relaxed I would want to shoot myself.</p>
<p>There are times when I wished I wasn’t so stressed at work, but overall I enjoy what I do. Given a choice, I would prefer to work than to be a stay home mom/wife. </p>
<p>If you were given a choice, would you give up your job in a heart beat? If so, what would you be doing instead?</p>
<p>Good Lord, no, I wouldn’t work if I didn’t have to. That’s why they have to pay me to show up every day. ;)</p>
<p>I was an SAHM for 15 years, and loved it. Thinking about it now, I guess what I liked most was being able to spend my time as I chose fit, on things that were important to me. I could take myself or my D to the doctor without having to explain to my boss why this was the third time this month I was having to take time off. I could do my shopping in the morning when it was cooler and the stores were uncrowded. I could attend a Thursday morning Bible study. I could volunteer my time without it cutting into my family time. I could keep up with the housework. I could have dinner ready when DH came home. I could take a quick nap after lunch, or watch an old movie in the middle of the day (TCM always runs its best stuff during the day!).</p>
<p>These days, I’d be an SAHD (daughter). My aging parents are needing more and more of my time, and my boss isn’t very understanding. I’d love to be able attend to their needs without having to make excuses, or without having to spend so much of my evening/weekend time tending to them.</p>
<p>Since I didn’t have to work, I took a long leave of absence to stay home while kids were in middle school. I did get bored and allowed myself to get a little stagnant.</p>
<p>Since I’ve had kids, I have:</p>
<p>stayed home full time
gone to school part time while working part time
gone to school part time
worked full time
worked part time</p>
<p>The hardest thing I ever did was stay home full time with babies/toddlers.</p>
<p>What I have enjoyed the most is what I am now doing-working part time (“prn” in nursing lingo). I dictate my own schedule at a facility that is not open nights, weekends, or holidays. This is the best balance in my opinion and I feel lucky that I have had so many options through the years.</p>
<p>I don’t “have to” work, by financial standards, but I do have to work by my own. Just shoot me first if I have nothing to do.</p>
<p>One suggestion OF, since you may not have had time in your past busy schedule, is to go on to the thread on the Cafe about “the best book I’ve read in the last six months…”</p>
<p>I will see if I can look that one up. </p>
<p>The other thing is to reread the classics. A lot of the novels we read in college are actually much better at our age with some experience. Henry James, for example, is entirely wasted on the very young. Just for one example.</p>
<p>Oldfort … you may be used to the rush of adrenaline with work and it will take you time to adjust to not having high levels of cortisol in your body. I would suggest you have yourself take a long day at the spa to force yourself to relax beyond any relaxing you have ever done. Use this time to take care of your body and to really allow it to heal, improve, and re-charge. I would love to have a 2-month break right now … there’s so many things I would want to do with my family, my kids and my friends.</p>
<p>I had a month off last year in between jobs. I hated it. I simply can’t do it. My parents are both the same way. They both retired early due to health issues. My dad lasted about a year before becoming an usher, crossing guard, and photography assistant. My mom lasted all of two months before deciding she couldn’t do it and had to go back to work.</p>
<p>I go stir crazy if I’m not working. I will never be a SAHM. I just couldn’t do it.</p>
<p>poetgrl - that’s a good idea. I read a novel for the first time in a while. I also need to take care of my body, beginning to feel more aches and pains now. I have D2’s graduation coming up and a major move (from one country to another). But I do have more time than I am used to. This is getting me to think about retirement, being an empty nester in few months, wondering what the adjustment will be like.</p>
<p>I do have to work for financial reasons. My biggest problem is my commute. It’s over an hour each way, and with traffic or bad weather conditions can swell to two hours. And they’re in the car, not a commuter train, so it’s more work than the work.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t work because I’ve always had health issues; in fact I was offered life-time disability by the government but didn’t take it because I didn’t want to stagnate. That was at 22.</p>
<p>But I would miss working terribly so it’s a blessing that I have to. I am a college prof and walking into the classroom brings about the happiest time of my day. Since I teach community college students sometimes it’s a very uphill battle, and sometimes they are rude and hurtful. But for the most part we have a great relationship and I get to teach 150 people each semester how to interpret literature and mythology and how to write better.</p>
<p>I’d probably want to do that even if I wasn’t paid, but I wouldn’t teach six classes a week the way I do.</p>
<p>I am envious of all of you who don’t have to work for financial reasons. My H’s business collapsed after 9/11, and although he’s a hard worker, it’s hard to put it back together. He is trying something new, but I am the major breadwinner.</p>
<p>Different from someone above, my favorite time was being home with my babies. My contract was written so I could take two years with each baby, and I did, and had them back to back, so I had four very, very happy years at home when we could operate on our own schedule. We were in debt when I went back, but it was easy to pay off.</p>
<p>I have had some extended time off between jobs but I couldn’t really enjoy it because of the job searching. I did enjoy being able to train for my sport and get enough rest.</p>
<p>I felt like oldfort during most of my jobs. I would not have said I would rather not work. Since I lost my dream job of 5 years last summer, I feel differently. I am warming to my new position slowly, but if I won the lottery the door wouldn’t hit me in the ass. I guess I’m just flat getting tired, and with H retired, it would be nice to have more flexibility to pick up and travel.</p>
<p>I think I will always work at least part time. I am not sure if I will try doing some work starting my own business when I retire or just work part time for someone. What I will want is flexibility. I have been lucky as I have always had a flexible schedule in my current job.</p>
<p>SAHM(or D) is hard work. I did that briefly when kids were young. I thought it was harder than going to work, it was hard to find any down time because they were so active.</p>
<p>I plan to work until I’m physically or mentally unable to do so. I have a job that provides a vital community service, that keeps me involved, and that contributes to a life with meaning. I don’t make much money, but I consider myself blessed.</p>
<p>I am a SAHM and my youngest is leaving for college this August. I am getting tired of people asking me what I am now going to do with my time. I have many interests and do not need a schedule to feel busy or entertained. I have a long list of things that I will now have the time and energy to do and am looking forward to this next phase of my life. I have kept my nursing license active just in case we needed additional income but I wouldn’t go back by choice.</p>
<p>Like Mythmom, I teach college, but not having a “full-time” position, I work part time at two colleges. I teach mostly English composition, and though I like teaching, the weight of paper correcting is enormous. Massive, massive amounts of time for little pay and no benefits. I left a full-time job for this, with the aim of having summer off, to do what I really want to do–write. I’ve been off a week, and have not gotten enough writing done. I feel like I’m still recovering from the semester. But I’ve gotten the car repaired, made lots of real dinners, started huge clean up projects in the house, caught up on sleep, and read several books. The writing will happen. I’m just getting my head back now. </p>
<p>I would love to be in this mode all the time–there are so many things not getting done in my life; I’ll never get to all of them before September. So yeah, though I like the teaching, I’d love to have all my time for the things I want to do–I have no fear of being bored–not as long as I have my writing, my bike, my kayak, good food to prepare (and garden veggies to preserve), and books. For me, paid work or not, the time flies.</p>
<p>When I was a SAHM I did a lot of volunteer work, some of which enabled me to explore talents that had been stagnant, and some of which enabled me to use skills I had developed while working. It was very satisfying.</p>
<p>I would give up my job super quick and work on things that are more interesting. I have never worked in a job that was so all consuming though that i did not have time for many other interests. I think that when people really like their jobs or at least find them all encompassing, they lose track of any other things that they might have found interesting.</p>
<p>If you have hobbies or interests, then you would want to do those things instead of work. I would definitely spend more time on building up my garden bigger for one. Start some new vegetable patches and some new flower areas, maybe weed the old ones a little more effectively. That would just be the beginning though. I can think of at least a half a dozen different things that i would work on that would keep me busy for months. </p>
<p>Those things that i enjoy would probably also lead to other ideas that i would want to try. I am a handy person, so any ideas that i get, i can try to do whatever it is that i am thinking of. Building an adult tree-house would be fun, but i would probably clean out my closet first.</p>
<p>Garland – Hi! I’ve written three books lately, which I can do working. I can’t do it right now because both kids moved back, and they are more time-consuming than work. I am working on dividing my house up so they can have separate quarters because they are getting masters so near home paying for housing would be a crime.</p>
<p>However, I can’t seem to get published while working. Getting published feels like a full-time job. And having so much sitting on my desk unpublished is influencing my writing. My dream is selling a book and getting a job teaching creative writing at the nearby U so I wouldn’t have to work and having more conduits for my writing so I write more. So far my dream doesn’t feel in any hurry to come true.</p>
<p>I left my full-time software developer job to be an independent contractor. I’m making less money, but have more free time and, most of all, my schedule is flexible. I found a wonderful organization to volunteer for and have my days free when needed to get other things done. It’s easy to find meaningful ways to spend your time other than paid employment if it’s a long-term change and you can make commitments. For just a month off that would be impossible, so I think that it’s not a good reflection of how your life would be if not working.</p>
<p>I could not go back to the 8-5, long-commute, high-stress job. If I didn’t need the money I would focus all my time on the volunteer work.</p>
I feel like I’m still recovering from the semester. But I’ve gotten the car repaired, made lots of real dinners, started huge clean up projects in the house, caught up on sleep, and read several books. The writing will happen. I’m just getting my head back now. </p>