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<p>As with most jobs, some SAHM/Ds work far harder than others. IMO, a “SAHM” doesn’t work if she hires a nanny, maids, cooks, etc and then spends her days shopping. I don’t care what she calls herself, that’s not working. SAHM/Ds who actually DO stay at home and work do just that- work.</p>
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<p>Well, I guess I’d agree with that, but I don’t personally know anyone who does that. I do know some SAHMs who have a house cleaner once a week or every other week, but that doesn’t rise to the level described above.</p>
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<p>You sound exactly like my wife!</p>
<p>(With justification, I must ruefully add!)</p>
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<p>How old are you children?</p>
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<p>We’re all (me, my boy, and Eva) in our early 20s. Why?</p>
<p>We’re also at an age where both his parents and my parents were already married so I’m not really sure what’s odd.</p>
<p>In response to the OP, for the past 11 years, I have had the perfect Mom job: teaching at a community college. I am looking at child number two( of two, boohoo) heading to college in the fall and wondering whether I want something more career wise. Until the kids started in private high schools, I really did not need to work for us to live, but I have enjoyed doing all kinds of jobs through the years as I followed my army husband around.</p>
<p>So, I do not know how much longer I will work, but I do enjoy having some place to go. I am a bit worried about the household changes in the fall…</p>
<p>Oldfort, I am not employed and have not been for many years. When the kid was young she had health problems, then school problems, and it’s only these last few years that I’ve had a fair amount of free time. But I still feel time pressure, as I’m trying to maintain three lawns in another town, catch up on maintenance in my own home, help Dad with his (just spent six days helping him clean and paint the kitchen), help my very overworked divorced sister with her chores, etc.</p>
<p>What I’d love to spend more time doing - archive and document my own photos taken before digital photography. Ditto for all the family photos that others shoved in drawers, etc. Document the family history - both family stories and genealogy. I’ve been working on this for years, but it’s mostly in pieces at present.</p>
<p>If I could suggest one thing to help you occupy your time, that others might really value in the future, it would be to write what you know of your own family stories. Immigrations, migrations, lifestyles - they can be so foreign as to be unbelievable to today’s kids. I wish I had reflective relatives, but instead I’ve had to pull stories out of most of them. If you still have living parents, aunts, etc. you might sit down with them over the course of several visits/phone calls and get some of the stories down. They are lost forever once their gone. It is probably something that only you can do.</p>
<p>Enjoy your move! And good luck.</p>
<p>Tree, that is great advice. My parents got me a year subscription to ancestry.com as a Christmas/birthday present one year and it was one of the coolest things I’ve ever done. Unfortunately, my mom’s an immigrant and her dad was Roma so the line stops with him. He never spoke about his parents (they were killed in the Holocaust and he was the only survivor) and he passed away when I was 3 so I doubt I’ll ever know anything beyond that. However, my dad’s side still has plenty of living relatives and it’s been a wonderful family project.</p>
<p>Garland, back in post #100 you asked,
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<p>When we moved to NC from NJ I had COBRA and was paying around $1200 month. We found a private plan with BCBS of NC that costs just under $1000/month and has been wonderful. It has a high deductible for hospital stays (which we have fortunately not needed) and a copay ($20/$30/$50) for Dr visits, of which we have used many. I have had in-office surgical procedures where I paid a $30 copay and saw the billing for $thousands. Colonoscopy was an in-office procedure. Our doctors are fantastic and conveniently located. I really couldn’t be happier with the whole deal. My fear is that premiums will jump to an unaffordable level. I expect them to go up, I just hope not too fast. Do we go on Medicare at age 65? (6 more years)</p>
<p>Back to topic. I hope to identify a retirement target date and decide what I want to do when I grow up.</p>
<p>BAck to the thread–NJres–Thanks!!! We may eventually look into something like that–something very high deductable. We’d be willing to pay out of pocket for the smaller stuff. I just don’t want to get bankrupt by a medical emergency (or worse, not be able to afford care.) I know some self-insurance carries a co-insurance requirement that can run 30% or more–I’m assuming you don’t have anything like that. We’re farther from Medicare, and we’ll for now keep the insured job (though cobbled together part-times down the Shore sure would be nice.) Thanks for the info!</p>
<p>“Personally, I think you need to find a new doctor.”
-I have tried unsuccessfully.
Two good ones that I used to have are not there for me: one retired, another moved to TX. I adjusted - just try to take the best care of myself and see MD when I know exact diagnosis (and actually it is better to know exact drug that will help)</p>
<p>Going back to subject, at least if you work, you have some options. They will diminish with retirement just as medicare reimbursements will diminish. Moving in this direction rather quickly…something to consider…</p>
<p>Many doctors are appropriately cautious to take on patients who want to self diagnose and/or tell the doctor what meds to prescribe. So there may be good doctors there who do not want to practice bad medicine.</p>
<p>Miami, have you simply asked for your thyroid levels to be tested? I don’t <em>believe</em> it’s something that comes back on routine blood tests.</p>
<p>Here’s what I know about different ways friends are dealing with health insurance: H is self-employed; so is the wife. H elected for “catastrophic” health insurance only (so wife is reluctant to go to dr unless it’s serious). Their D was in an awful jetski accident (broken jaw, knocked out some teeth) which has cost them serious $$$ to fix. They are now evaluating other plans so they won’t be in this spot again. Wife said it cost as much as a year’s tuition.</p>
<p>My sister is a nurse; her husband is unemployed. She got a 2nd job working part-time at a local VA hospital because they could offer family health insurance cheaper than her full time employer. She is getting divorced; her ex will get health insurance through VA (he is a veteran); she will pay for her own single plan and cover her 2 sons through their school’s plan (overall it was cheaper than doing married w/kids through work).</p>
<p>My husband and I are self-employed. I pay for our health insurance through our company’s group plan, but it is horribly expensive ($1900/month). I may check out putting H on our payroll and taking him off our plan but cover him as a single person (our insurance guy said many self-employed people do this) and overall, it would be cheaper.</p>
<p>I heard that Starbucks offers health insurance even to part-time employees. I’m not sure if they’re still doing that, but if it’s true, it might make sense for one person to see if they can land a job there!</p>
<p>This thread inspired me to look at my 401k for the first time. I did not realize how much money I already had in there o.o after only a few short months. That 5% or whatever of my paycheck certainly adds up!</p>
<p>There was a great thread on personal/family insurance plans recently. It highlighted the good, the bad and the ugly of these plans. I am self employed so our insurance is through my DH (who I married less than a year after we met, 28 years ago. Best decision I ever made, btw)'s employer. I will probably retire before he does, and would like to have a group rather than a personal/family plan. His current employer has a HSA, so we have some $$ saved in that, which is nice. Health insurance is very important. Our health, and secondarily our expenses, can change in a heartbeat.</p>
<p>** forgot to add:
Miami-
When I take my car in for repair, I tell them what it is doing and what noises it is making. I don’t tell them what to fix. I am not a mechanic. If I tell them to check something specific, thats what they will do, and may not look further. If I tell them the symptoms the car is having, they will check lots of things to try to appropriately diagnose and fix the problem. Its the same with doctors. Tell them your symptoms and let them diagnose and treat the problem.</p>
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That is so great! Very proud of you.</p>
<p>My first employer pushed me very hard to max out my 401-K contribution at a firm that matched incredibly generously. I’ve always done that because I continued as I began and I am so very glad that I did. It may be one of the only things I’ve ever done right.</p>
<p>When my husband and I married 29 years ago, I said I could cash out my retirement plan. He ( smart boy) said we did not need it and I should leave it. It is now worth more than $60k and I only put about $1200. in it. So keep adding roman and leave it alone.</p>
<p>The unfortunate truth is that our society doesn’t value SAHM work. Many SAHMs (or dads) are one divorce away from possible being on the street. Many families are one medical crisis or bad retirement plan away from having no nest egg. So while I am happy to be able to work super super part time, and I am lucky that my husband has a great job, it makes me nervous to see so many parents (usually moms) who get to stay at home but are at risk. It’s one reason I worked my buns off for fifteen years before “pre-retiring” (medical training means my earning career started late, though).</p>