<p>My sibs all lived at home until they got married or had been out in the workforce for a very long time (think about 10+ years). I was the only one who moved out within months after returning home to start my full-time job. I got an apartment & enjoyed living alone. I lived in that building for 9 years until we moved into our house.</p>
<p>My S is happy living in his own place. Don’t know what his rent is, since he has had to move because the place he originally rented had a smoker somewhere in the building that was causing him to wheeze. If he was living in HI, we’d welcome him into our place if he wanted to save money toward buying a place of his own, but having him 5000miles away, that isn’t happy. </p>
<p>D is renting an apartment with a room mate 2500 miles away–hope she will be able to get a job that can help with rent, but will have to see how things evolve for her.</p>
<p>Neither of my kids nor we have any illusions that they should be starting at the top of the employment ladder but are surprised at how much responsibility S has been given so soon after he was hired just out of college; he earns a good salary & has the opportunity to get employer to help with his grad school expenses. No idea how D will fare but are keeping our fingers crossed.</p>
<p>Who is to say that I would not have ended up at home for a bit, taken menial work (which I had all my experience in by that point LOL) if the economy had been as bad as it is now?? I was a very lucky grad, got my job from my college’s Career Services interviews, and it paid me enough to pay rent in a shared apt in a very expensive city.
After graduating, I worked at my college for a few weeks, then moved home for about a month, then moved out as I started this job, which was definitely a pre-professional, career-oriented job.
I was just so lucky.
I am not holding my hopes that my D’s will be so lucky. If they spend any time back home, they will be required to try to get a pay-check/any pay-check, save, help out around the house on all levels. We will keep track of the expenses, incl the health insurance, just so they know what the support costs.</p>
<p>S1 was on the opposite coast for four years of college. He graduated in June and is home now. Work on obtaining work is underway – but our state is glorious in the summer and I really could not fault him for spending the summer with Dad and Brother and hiking often. </p>
<p>The living room is painted and wood stacked for winter. I am keenly aware that he’ll likely work in another city – possibly many hours away – so this time together has been rather grand. The grindstone will be there for decades ahead. A bit to breathe can be a blessing.</p>
<p>We were quite happy to welcome S home when he was with us between graduation & waiting for his job to start. He made himself helpful by upgrading our computers, decluttering, helping out with the grandparents, and just being a joy to be around. He only added minimally to our utilities and we considered the time together wonderful.</p>
<p>Would NOT be as happy if I had a kiddo who moved home & didn’t seem interested or motivated to look for a job AT ALL. Sibs who lived with my folks all had full-time jobs, tho folks didn’t have any of the kids contribute to expenses to my knowledge. Each kid in turn moved out when married or when they got their own place at a time of their choosing.</p>
<p>I think that, in this economy, it’s wise to consider encouraging young adults to live at home if their job (or lack thereof) and the family dynamics are workable. I’m happy to be able to offer my kids shelter and am glad that our home is set up in a way that affords all of us separate living spaces. We’ve transitioned pretty easily into adult relationships and I’d much rather they pay their bills and build up some savings than live elsewhere just for the “independence” factor.</p>
<p>It’s nice to have good options that can help stretch funds, especially where some folks have loans and other expenses to work off. Best not to overextend with the uncertain economy, that’s for sure. Good that you have created separate living spaces in your home–ours isn’t set up that way, but since there are only a few of us we seem to rub along pretty well anyway. IF the kids were in our state & island, I think they’d be living with us–we’ll have to see how things evolve, but expect D will likely live in LA for some time, getting her experience & more skills.</p>
<p>I would have no problem with one of my kids living at home while they were just starting out so they could save for a down payment or maybe even a car. As long as they were working and productive. What I would not do is subsidize their standard of living if they moved out. When people our age first moved out, we lived in small apartments or a room in a house. We did not demand luxury apartments, car payments and $100/month cell phones bills while expecting our parents to help us attain that. </p>
<p>The best thing my parents did for us was to teach us to live on what we made and to make sure that we didn’t have to take care of them when they got older and I fully intend to do that for my kids. I won’t help with their rent, insurance of any kind, cable bills, interview clothes, or car payments. They will not, however, have to worry about us when the time comes.</p>
<p>As long as we can comfortably afford it and NOT compromise the security of our retirement, we plan to help our kids IF they need it to get on their feet, to subsidize their share of a small, decent apartment or room in a house. Any “frills,” they’re on their own tab. We also keep them on our cell phone plan, tho that is not a given. Don’t expect to help them with cable bills or car payments, but who knows?</p>
<p>So far, have NOT needed to help susidize S; will see if D can get a job or needs some financial help. Time will tell.</p>
<p>I have friends who are expecting to live at home after they graduate. It really bugs me because they aren’t saving money (many aren’t even working because their parents pay everything) to even attempt to be independent. </p>
<p>I love my parents, but I am doing everything in my power to never have to move back home. I haven’t really lived with them since my freshmen year, and I intend to keep it that way. It will be a very sad day for me if I have to move back in with them. Not because I don’t love them, but frankly because I don’t want to be dependent on them. I’m too independent to feel like a burden on someone. If I have to move back home, they’ll welcome me with open arms, but I’m definitely not working towards that- and it’s irritating that the expectation by a lot of my classmates is that they’re moving back home. It leaves little incentive to try to find a good job before you graduate.</p>
<p>I had never really thought about what I’d do after I graduated and had a good job. When I had no room to unpack because in my absence, everyone had filled the space I had left behind, I had to move because that would be the only way I could have any space to unpack and do any work out of the office. I am grateful I had a good job & the resources to move out – no regrets. I think most of my classmates also got jobs & moved out on their own. I think S would have moved back with us if he had accepted one of the jobs he was offered on our island, but we won’t know now. :)</p>
<p>I am not able to, but someone should post the NYTimes real estate article from last Sunday alongside this one…it’s about two teachers in NyC who have literally save $$ from the day they graduated from college and still cannot afford to buy an apartment. They are in their 30’s…</p>
<p>Therein lies the rub; make the kids independent when they graduate college and all their $$ will go to pay rent/food etc; no way to save (in high cost areas) OR help them out at first ( either at home or away) so that they can eventually become adults. </p>
<p>The quote in the article that has been haunting me for almost a week now: ( and it is not exact but from memory)</p>
<p>“this is making us feel like we will never truly be adults; we feel like babies”</p>
<p>I don’t have the answer…but I think the discussion here is important…</p>
<p>My kids are welcome to move home any time they like. Fat chance. The young one will be making more than I do one year out of college. The older has a 5-6 year fellowship with a hefty take home.</p>
<p>I’m busy taking in refugees - since I can’t have my own kids, I guess I’ll take in someone else’s.</p>
<p>Mine was home for a few months after graduation and working 50 hours a week so we never saw him, we hadn’t seen him much during college so it was nice to have him home but as soon as he had enough saved up to sustain 3 months he was gone…many, many, miles away. He barely has a subsistence wage, but somehow he’s piecing it together. He has an attitude much like romanig. He loves us but it’s time to fly on his own. Good for him. I hope he can keep going but he knows we’re here and we love him if he needs a refuge at some point.</p>
<p>I would rather they not save a penny and move out and live on their own after college and then help with the buying of a house or car or business down the road. The independence is an important milestone in becoming an adult. Most college grads in my area think long and hard before deciding to pour most of the paycheck into rent on a barely decent living situation in nyc - many would rather live w/ mom and dad and keep the $$$ for fun and a bit of saving. I understand the logic but sometimes you have to force them out of the nest.</p>
<p>@rodney - I looked for the article, but can’t find it. Do the teachers indicate what their current standard of living is? When we wanted to buy a house in the metro area, we scrimped everything - no meals eaten out, including lunch. Watching every penny. </p>
<p>As many posters have noted, I think 25-35s have different expectations of what is acceptable than those of us 46-54. My kids would cringe if they saw the first place we rented when we moved to NJ.</p>
<p>Attaching the article in question. It seems that these are 2 very responsible young people with good heads on their shoulders and reasonable student loan debt. </p>
<p>article: A Dream of Homeownership, Still Beyond Reach</p>
<p>Do they <em>have</em> to stay in New York because of that program? If not, then I really feel no sympathy for them IF it’s a choice to stay in a high COL area. (Again, they might be forced to stay there because of this program). $250k would buy a VERY nice house in many parts of the midwest right now.</p>
<p>The Teaching Fellows is part of the NYC DOE. In addition, they both attended Rutgers (meaning that their home state is in NJ). Perhaps the are in NYC because that is where the job is and they are close to their families in NJ.</p>