wUt r mY cHanSes !? lYike zomgZ !

Colleges & Universities University of Chicago
1

<p>One-third Tamil, one-third Inca, one-third Aleutian/Inuit deaf/blind/mute trigender asexual gender queer</p>

<p>GPA: 6.67 unweighted, top (1/e)% at prep school
SAT I: 800M, 800CR, 800W
SAT II: 800 Math IIC, 800 Chinese, 800 Physics, 800 Bio E/M, 800 Hebrew w/ listening, 800 World History
AP tests: US History 5, Macro 5, English Lit/Comp 5, Latin 5, French 5, Government 5, Statistics 5, Calc BC 5</p>

<p>Extracurriculars:
Violin (world renowned soloist)
President of Environmental Action Committee
Adjunct Professor at UPenn
Photography Editor of People magazine
Have saved over 100 babies from burning buildings
Science Bowl Team founder
Physics Nobel Prize Winner (2003)
Tutoring/Big Sister Mentorship Program
Dictator of a small (but growing!) third-world African country
Found cure for ffwutnnsajrthitis, a rare disease afflicting 32-year-old Aleutian troglodytes</p>

<p>Summer:
Volunteer at Dana Farber
Backup vocals with Cher on her This is really my last tour, I promise! tour
Classes in Shanghai
Trip to Germany (presided over an EU meeting)
Conducted study on the now-extinct !!;! language, which consists only of clicks and glottal taps and is indigenous to the Hassiu Mdakna region of Southern Madagascar
Approx. 86,000+ hours volunteering on Mars with NASA’s Junior Astronauts program</p>

<p>Other: In my spare time, I lead a Youth Fellowship program that hikes the Appalachians with a group of poverty-stricken HIV+ children. I have also published over 100 novels, 2 of which have been adapted to the big screen.</p>

<p>bUt u guYz, lYke wut R mI chancEs!?</p>

2

<p>get a life</p>

3

<p>■■■■■■ go to community college.</p>

4

<p>hahahahaha</p>

5

<p>■■■■■!!! I Love You!!!</p>

6

<p>Hmmm.</p>

<p>I’d say you’re qualified, but it’s all a crap-shoot nowadays. You’ll probably be deferred, and someone with legacy will be admitted.</p>

<p>;)</p>

7

<p>Approx. 86,000+ hours volunteering on Mars with NASA’s Junior Astronauts program</p>

<p>LOLOLOLOL</p>

8

<p>It’s funny…all the people that are offended by this are the people that are being made fun of by the post! You can’t get mad…samk2289 hit the nail on the head with this. You people ask if you can get into a community college with perfect scores lol. Whatever happened to self evaluation? Why ask other people to play admissions counselor? You will find out once you receive the letter fools.</p>

9

<p>heh, hilarious dude. you totally showed those guys. <em>high fives</em></p>

10

<p>This is hilarious and SO TRUE.</p>

11

<p>It is reminiscent of Ted O’Neill’s class of 2009 convocation speech speaking from the parents point of view: <a href=“College Admissions at the University of Chicago”>College Admissions at the University of Chicago;

<p>It begins:

</p>

12

<p>YOU FOUND CURE FOR ffwutnnsajrthitis, a rare disease afflicting 32-year-old Aleutian troglodytes??? i THOUGHT I FOUND THE CURE FOR ffwutnnsajrthitis, a rare disease afflicting 32-year-old Aleutian troglodytes!!! **** NOW I HAVE NO CHANCE I NO GET IN MY FATHER SEND ME WORK IN RESTAURANT HAND OUT MENU!!!</p>

13

<p>OMG this is so f-ing funny. Wow. You just MADE my night. I love the Cher thing.
I had no idea that like homosexuals like got like Affirmative like Action</p>

14

<p>Best chances thread ever. :stuck_out_tongue: :smiley: The !!;! language reminds me of an African kid from my high school who clicked to himself (???). We called him “Clicks.”</p>

<p>

At Middlebury, they do.
<a href=“http://www.insidehighered.com/layout/set/help/news/2006/10/09/gay[/url]”>http://www.insidehighered.com/layout/set/help/news/2006/10/09/gay&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

15

<p>

hahhah</p>

<p>that’s freaking hilarious.</p>

16

<p>That’s discriminatory!</p>

17

<p>Hahaha. Thanks for the much needed laugh</p>

18

<p>c’mon. UofC hates overachievers, we all know that…;)</p>

19

<p>It all depends if you write good essays.<br>
Make sure you find a good safety too</p>

20

<p>

good advice :&lt;/p>