I think Nicholas needs to refrain from using exclamation points! Really!
But I hope the letter was taken in the spirit which I believe it was intended.
And assume the meeting is tomorrow evening. The date was omitted. It says “Sunday evening November at 7:00 to 8:30 pm.” Good lletter. Not quite as good proofreading. But that’s minor.
The more I read this thread the more obvious it become that people split hairs to find offense. (And I mean people in general.) There are real problems in the world, really obvious things to take offense at. Being Jewish, for example, I don’t take offense at living in an essentially Christian society because, bluntly, I’m safe and my kids are safe and we can live our lives without interference from the state. About the worst that happens is exposure to some really awful music, all those bleeping “buy this because it’s the spirit of Christmas” ads and, of course, the drivers stressed out by their holiday obligations that they act like complete bleeps. It’s not like people are sticking knives in my back or preaching that God wants the Jews annihilated and could do it himself but wants “us” to do it for him. It’s not like people are attacking a theatre because it was (until 2 months ago) owned by Jews and was known for hosting Jewish events.
It’s certainly not because someone wears a funny hat and could be mistaken for “Jewish” and that becomes an offense just as stupid as taking offense because someone wears a sombrero on Halloween. Of all days Halloween, not a regular Tuesday in a regular week but on the one day of the year when people dress up in costumes. And the difference between a “safe space” and the real world is in starkest contrast not only this week but in the reality that millions of people have no home at all because of war.
I recommend a movie, The Hebrew Hammer. It’s incredibly offensive on purpose. He goes to Saint Peter Paul, etc. Public School as a kid. He goes into an Aryan biker bar dressed as an Orthodox Jew and asks if can pay in Shekels because he just got back from Israel. There’s a plot to end Hanukkah by playing It’s a Wonderful Life over and over because everyone knows that every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings. I fear that movie might not be played at Yale these days because it might offend someone.
And I understand that there is a movement, a real movement oriented around police violence and African-Americans, but the need to join this by - here are two offensive metaphors - claiming a pound of flesh and/or taking scalps by asserting injustices and demanding your remedies MUST be accepted. And I understand that people lack perspective, especially when they’re young.
Interesting metaphor. It suggests that he and wife will not be very lucky, unless he believes that he is Noah…
@jym626, it is quite possible that the refreshments at the Holiday Party include latkes and chocolate gelt. (That’s what I’d do if I were contemplating such a party. I don’t know much about Kwanzaa, but I would do some research and include those elements also.) Would that be okay?
@Mastadon: I’d respond to your quote by quoting the quote about not taking a single quote from the letter and using it out of context, but…dang it…
Still, now feeling a little bad here for liking post 1121 (even though it still totally tickles my English teacher funny bone). Maybe picking at language and punctuation is not the best example of reading with Positive Intent, eh?
@clasicalmama I’m a little bit confused.
Let’s assume that this is an English class.
The teacher provides an article for everybody to read, presumably with the intent to start a discussion.
A student reads the article and makes an observation.
Would it make sense for the teacher to then say, “We can’t discuss that observation because you took it out of context” ?
“Antediluvian” in this context simply means outmoded or old-fashioned.
It’s pretty clear NC was saying he’s glad that his own youthful indiscretions and those of his wife were not captured on video to be displayed ad infinitum in the national media unlike those of the student dubbed “shrieking girl.”
I thought his letter was masterfully written and extremely effective.
Sometimes, it is really difficult to listen when you are already talking. You may hear but not listen to communications ongoing nearby. These experiences are from 1975-78:
As I started my first day at middle school, there were only a few courses included in the “Gifted Program.” The primary course was English. Of the students in the class, four were “black” - two males and two females. The rule was that students who maintained a “B” average remain in the course from year to year. I maintained at least a “B” but the teacher did not assign me to the program the following year. I was relieved. I was no longer forced to sit in a room full of “smart” kids who were rude, condescending, and down right mean spirited. Collectively, I hated them all. When I was picked on for being “black” not one person in that room told anyone to stop but it seemed they all laughed and jeered. I did not actually do an assessment. I just remember being called names and compared to animals. These comments came from kids who had never previously attended school with me.
So when the next year began and I was away from those individuals, I was happy. But the problems arose when my eighth English teacher checked my grades and asked why I was no longer in the “Gifted Program.” My simple response was the teacher was a racist and it did not bother me because I hated those kids anyway. That well meaning teacher then discussed the situation with others. I repeatedly told them that I did not want to be returned to sit in a classroom full of bigots day in and day out, that I could not feel comfortable or confident working with them on group assignments, and I had no desire to return to the hellhole of that program. She put me back in the program for the following school year.
So at the start of my final year of middle school, I was back in the room full of bigots. But this year, the problem course was the new course. not English. The professor, who was a Jewish male, had decided to try to explain the recently released Bakke decision to a bunch of fourteen year olds. As presented, there were black people taking seats in colleges and medical programs, who were not qualified and those unqualified black people’s participation in programs beyond their aptitude resulted in qualified whites being excluded. In this course, I was the only black student. The other students were those bigots from my English class. So now the bigots were accusing me of not being qualified. The name calling persisted, the teacher never told them to stop and life was miserable, again.
After nine weeks, I told the teacher I wanted out. I fully explained why and told him that he had failed to defend me and that I hated everything about his course and nothing good was coming from my presence. He threatened me - if I left, he would give me a “C.” I had never gotten a “C” in any course. I told him that if that was what it took to be free from those kids, a “C” was a small penalty to pay. He did not appreciate the extent of my pain. It was a daily barrage of harassment. So after I transferred to another course he gave me that promised “C.” It was the only grade on my report card which was not an “A.” The next two quarters, I made the principal’s list. There was no other ninth grade female who “almost” had straights “As.” This led to a series of discussions. Someone finally asked why I had a “C” and why I had withdrawn. I told the entire story. The other teachers and administrators were floored. The math teacher was appalled. It seems he went to the principal to complain about the teacher. I was summoned to the principal’s office. I told the whole story over and over again to different administrators. Each one was upset.
During the middle of the fourth quarter, my grade for the first quarter was changed to an “A” for that class from which I had withdrawn. That teacher then mumbled to students that he was forced to change my grade because I was black. But since I had only a few weeks to go, I cared less than a darn about his grumblings.
At the end of the school year, I received seven awards. One was for perfect “As,” one was for math, and one was the top award given to a graduating female. Because I was still bitter that I was treated that way by the students and those two “educators,” I did not attend my assigned high school. I transferred to the nearest competitor.
I played volleyball, basketball, and softball. The trainer was a wonderful gentleman who taped my ankles. Each time we spoke, he encouraged me to take his course - Law and the Supreme Court. He was Jewish. My thought was why would I subject myself to that nonsense again. It had almost crushed me, that teacher in middle school actively set out to destroy my confidence and reputation. There was nothing that suggested the law, as articulated by him, served me in any way that was beneficial. It seemed like educational suicide.
But that trainer talked with me for two years. He shared nothing but compliments. I finally asked around and decided to try the course for nine weeks. Once again, I was the only black in the class. Wow, was I surprised. What harm had been wreaked upon me in middle school was my past. I liked the class so much, I went to college and then to law school. That teacher restored my faith.
Removing myself from that class in middle school was the best decision I made. Had I remained, my entire school year would have been full of hate and resentment. That was no way to be productive. The teacher’s complete failure to defend me was his loss. The English teacher’s decision not to place me in proper class was her problem. In my mind, they were in charge and allowed others to verbally torture me. They were educators and they could not begin to appreciate that I could not get an education in the environments they allowed to persist. They completely failed me - educationally, socially, emotionally.
But I gained a voice. I learned that there are bigots seated next to me and to expect those bigots to perpetuate bigotry. More importantly, I learned that there are others who are just the opposite. There are some people who clearly are unaware of the conduct of the racists. Those who would protect me could not protect me when I remained silent. They had no way of knowing my pain, my predicament, my unwillingness to persistent in those horrible conditions.
It has been 40 years since that situation initially presented itself. Today, I still have nothing to say to those kids who were in those classes and those teachers who taught those courses. I have seen several of them years later and simply ignored them. There was no desire to engage in any discussion. I simply moved on. I took myself to an environment where my presence did not have to be justified, where it was not assumed that I was not qualified to be there, where I was not humiliated daily.
For so many people in similar circumstances, they do not have the opportunity to simply remove themselves. So they suffer, often in silence. They shut down. They fail to thrive. They build up animosity toward a group of people who look just like their tormentors.
The gems in my story were the eighth grade English teacher who returned me to the “Gifted Program” and the high school trainer. They were advocates without being judgmental. They assessed my situation. They allowed me to have some time to heal while implicitly pushing me to function beyond my fear. They encouraged me and made me feel safe. They listened. They heard and understood that I was not in a position to learn where I was hypervigilant about being demeaned, abused, and harassed. But without helping me to heal, selling what sounds like the “suck it up and move on” advice will never be received well. It comes across as you are part of the problem. Erika learned a lot about communicating with hurt teens this week.
There is a chance if you chose to speak to some of these former classmates rather than ignored them, 40 years later, you might have discovered that they have healed/changed as well. Just a thought.
I thought his claim of being somewhat old-fashioned was reinforced by his reference to “film,” as though the scene had been captured on 8mm film :).
If the students read the letter with the same spirit with which it was written, progress can be made.
"quite possible that the refreshments at the Holiday Party include latkes and chocolate gelt. (That’s what I’d do if I were contemplating such a party. I don’t know much about Kwanzaa, but I would do some research and include those elements also.) "
Just using Consolation’s post as a jumping-off point. Where does inclusiveness end and “re-appropriating someone’s culture” begin? See, here’s the line. Let’s say I’m the white Christian host of this hypothetical party. If I just have my tree, stockings and Santa cookies, I’m not welcoming enough. But if I drape a table in kente cloth and serve whatever foods are associated with Kwanzaa, chances are I’ll be called “tone-deaf” (because I might not get some of the details perfectly so) and I’ll be accused of “my holidays and traditions are not games for you to amuse yourself with, kente cloth is not just pretty cloth for you to buy and use, they are for me and not you, hands off.” I think a big big part of the problem is the insistence of the value of diversity combined with “but you can’t touch / use / do my cultural traditions if you aren’t xx.”
@Tampa15: Your narrative is, itself, a gem that will stay with me for a long, long, time. Thank you.
Just look at the situations in which a cafeteria wished to honor black traditions by serving soul food, they consult with the black organizations on campus to compose a menu, and then it’s all “well, how dare you think all we eat is fried chicken and collard greens.” Well, no one said that. Make up your minds. Are cultural traditions (foods, costumes, rituals) something you’re proud of and want to share with others in your community - or are they embarrassing stereotypes?
What if someone’s parent really did play in a mariachi band? Is that something to be ashamed of?
I recommend the movie Blazing Saddles. Should be required viewing for every Yale student during freshman orientation.
Of course before entering the viewing venue a complete and exhaustive list of trigger warnings would be provided. Floor lighting (in case of emotional emergency) would point to the nearest safe zone. Counselors would be available at the end of the showing to provide all the emotional support such a horrible experience will no doubt demand.
What if this, what if that…speak on your own experiences, not conjecture or speculation on how others might or should feel. I love how the dominant class is the one to occupy the space of, “they are over sensitive” or “enough of this” or “now, your hurting my feelings.”
The bottom line, is the Y corporation, view the vintages and inputs of alum and current studentbody, will dictate the path forward. If there is insufficient merit or pressure–than nothing. However, many of the concerns and wants (e.g. Expansion and budgets of the cultural houses) have been an issue in previous years, and this might just be an inflection point in timing.
Conjecture, discussion and hypotheticals or taking a devil’s advocate posture or different perspective are what these discussions are all about. Readers benefit from such conversations, and hopefully open their minds to other thoughts, feelings, possibilities, and may even change their minds about what they think/feel/do based on comments they read, even if the examples are hypothetical.
For example, reading Tampa’s poignant post, I was struck by how different many of my classmates are now, compared to 40 years ago. Having reconnected by facebook and such, it has been fascinating to see how they seem to have changed, how their educational and life experiences have contributed to their growth. In this spirit of inclusion and open-mindedness, one might hope that the students who were cruel to Tampa 40 years ago have modified their thoughts and behaviors, and that Tampa might benefit from communicating with, rather than avoiding, some of them. Just a thought… from a different perspective
I don’t know about West Point, but there has long been grievances by religious minorities or athiests over having Christianity, especially the fundamentalist evangelical kind shoved down their throats by more senior cadets and admins at USAFA who are fundamentalist evangelical christians:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/06/22/AR2005062200598.html
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/17/air-force-academy-religion-proselytism_n_1678092.html
What makes this worse in the context of the FSA is that the more senior cadets and admins at USAFA like other FSAs do have authority over more junior cadets as part of the hierarchical four-class system.
The level of intimidation among cadets who are religious minorities are such most felt the need to maintain anonymity and “protest” through sympathetic USAFA alums like:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_L._Weinstein
to avoid retaliation from more senior cadets and admins who have the power to discipline, punish, or even expel them from the academy.
Incidentally, I first heard about this issue sometime in the mid-'90s from one older HS alum who was a USAFA student(now graduate) who felt the need to conceal his non-fundamentalist evangelical Christian background including changing his surname because of the prevailing climate back in the mid-'90s.
Back then, I thought it was an isolated case and didn’t realize how prevalent the level of religious proselytizing by fundamentalist evangelical Christians at USAFA was until the news broke about how many cadets who were from religious minorities and atheists were intimidated to the point of maintaining anonymity and “protesting” through sympathetic USAFA alums who are no longer subject to the authority of more senior cadets and USAFA admins.
I see at least one poster wants to go back to how senior college administrations used to act before the protests in the '60s and '70s when they would and did suspend/expel students for taking part in political protests or sometimes even expressing sympathies for their positions.
I’m wondering if he also wants to bring back another aspect of that era which severely limited student free expression…such as rigid classroom dress codes like the one my HS friend’s father found himself subjected to as a 1964 NYU freshman when his Prof tossed him out of class once for forgetting to put on a tie.
One of many incidents which prompted him to take active part in the '60s protests not only against larger causes like Civil Rights, but also against what he and others of his generation viewed as excessive and yes, fascistic power possessed and wielded by the college admins of that era.
So you’re going to equate students who launch protests and exercise their free speech to criticize other students…however harshly with cases where people were actually prosecuted legally and in the latter two cases even subjected to violence/murder by military/mobilized militarized factions by their respective governments?
Regarding struggle sessions, they had the full support and backing of the government and they were able to use the full might of law enforcement/secret police/military to force struggle session victims to undergo those sessions and then subject them to worse punishments.
And as someone whose great-aunt and her family were persecuted in the Cultural Revolution and has studied this area of Chinese history in some depth, talk about a calling a Godwin when it’s actually applicable.
I think the hyperbole, lack of proportionality, and historical perspective isn’t limited to the students…but to some parents/older adults posting here.
And as older members most of whom have had HS/college educations…including ones at respectable/elite institutions and opportunities to educate themselves further, they have far less excuse for this than your average 17-22 year old undergraduate.
Interesting. Wasn’t it was his own friend who recorded and posted and refused to take it down?
Sounds pretentious to me. What was lacking was basic common courtesy. The original email was intended to protect the minority students. If someone thought it should be reversed/negated for whatever reasons, common courtesy would dictate that person first check with that group or the original writer. EC somehow didn’t think the minority group needed to be consulted in taking an action whose outcome would affect them most. Most of people would call it patronizing not upholding freedom of speech.