Yale Supplement essay- advice

Applying to College
1

<p>Below is my Yale supplement essay. It’s a REALLY rough draft and any advice would be extremely appreciated. :)</p>

<p>In middle school, I remember organizing my grandmother’s file cabinet and asking her, “Grandmamma, how do you spell conspiracy?” These sorts of moments occurred all throughout my childhood and I realized she wasn’t exactly a normal grandmother. I used to always look through bookshelf and would see books on extraterrestrials, chakras, Mayan prophecies, and quantum physics. I would always come home from her house asking my parents questions about the universe and where we come from.
As I’ve grown older my grandmother has influenced me to be myself above all else. I form my own opinions about issues based on my own independent research rather than dogma. It used to really bother me of the ignorance that exists, especially in the South regarding issues such as race, religion, and homosexuality. My grandmother taught me that you can’t let people’s ignorance anger you. Instead you should forgive them and battle ignorance with knowledge.
I used to want to fit in but she taught me that it is okay to stand out. I take pride in being unique and creative rather than trying to hide who I really am. Now I don’t think twice about wearing a bowtie to school or being daring and spontaneous. Because of her I am not afraid to stand up for what I believe in. She taught me to stand up for what is just and against tyranny and ignorance.
Because of her I am a calm person and always smiling. People always ask me, “how come you are never angry?” I don’t think there is reason to waste your life being mad over something superficial. I choose to focus on the positive things in life as and try to make those around me happy as well. The only time when I get upset is when something awful is happening and nothing is being done about it.
I live my life getting the most out of each day. My grandmother has supported me through my wide range of interests that I’ve had. I have tried all sorts of things such as origami, jewelry making, crocheting, and sculpture and through all these many crafts my grandmother stood by me and bought me all the resources I needed. She was an unparalleled passion from others which is a trait that she instilled in me. Without her and her unorthodox beliefs, I wouldn’t be the person I am today.</p>

2

<p>I was going to post something like</p>

<p>“Great essay. I think I’ll use it for my Princeton supplement. Thanks”</p>

<p>but that would not be nice. So I won’t.</p>

3

<p>OP I do not think that it is a good idea to post any essay that you plan to submit on an open forum. Right now is crunch time for many applicants. You don’t want anyone borrowing your ideas. I would take this down immediately.
With that said, I think the ideas in this essay are good, but you don’t give enough specifics and you tend to use cliches, especially in the 2 middle paragraphs. Give specific examples of times that you chose to stand out, etc.
Good Luck!</p>