Yale University Announces Themed Beverage

Colleges & Universities Yale University
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<p>In recent news, Yale University has announced a Yale themed carbonated beverage. In celebration of an expected record rejection rate, President Richard C. Levin has announced a canned ginger ale entitled “Ginger Yale”.</p>

<p>Dean Brenzel released this comment earlier today.</p>

<p>“We never expected to see so many applications this year. Most of the highly coveted joke-applications go to the Crimson Cow that is Harvard. But unprecedented amounts of under qualified applicants have applied to Yale. We simply can’t take you all.”</p>

<p>Off the record Dean Brenzel jokingly stated he appreciates the cannon fodder, as well as the application fee. </p>

<p>“Under qualified applicants cost around $14.00 to process, since they rarely travel far from the basement store room” said Undersecretary Celine. “They actually pay us for a rejection!”</p>

<p>Yale University announced with this excess money, they will be investing in their brand name beverage. </p>

<p>President Levin announced that the current ethnic quota system did not allow for this random fluxuation in under qualified applications. “We admit a certain amount of minorities, mainly those in under performing races, based on the number of applicants. The more applicants, the more Hispanics and Blacks we must admit- unfortunately regardless of the class size.”</p>

<p>Ginger Yale is projected to go on sale April 7th, in combination with application decisions. Coupons will be mailed with rejection letters as consolation.</p>

<p>Source: NY Times [The</a> New York Times - Breaking News, World News & Multimedia](<a href=“http://www.newyorktimes.com%5DThe”>http://www.newyorktimes.com)</p>

<p>A marketing representation of Ginger Yale can be seen here:
<a href=“ImageShack - Best place for all of your image hosting and image sharing needs”>ImageShack - Best place for all of your image hosting and image sharing needs;

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<p>lolz .</p>

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<p>No one has a comment on this masterpiece?</p>

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<p>I have a sneaking suspicion application fees could be used to subsidize tuition/FA.</p>

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<p>Seconding mcb52.</p>

<p>Mal, marry me?</p>

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<p>At this time I’m going to say yes, if I get accepted.</p>

<p>Besides, good practice of making promises for a future career… yeah…</p>

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<p>Oh, wonderful. Then I hope you get accepted.</p>

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<p><em>reads above exchange</em></p>

<p>…weird…</p>

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<p>I must say, well done :P</p>

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<p>Should have sent this as an art supplement mal.</p>

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<p>Mal77, I definately see you having a career writing for the onion! :D</p>

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<p>^ I know someone that does. (The people in the videos aren’t all writers, but a couple are)</p>

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<p>YCC President
Editor in Chief
Team Captain</p>

<p>No matter… they all lead to the same tomb.</p>

<p>Haha I wish.</p>

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<p>Wer war der Thor, wer Weiser, wer Bettler oder Kaiser?
Ob arm, ob reich, im Tode gleich.</p>

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<p>i haven’t even applied to yale and i like reading this board. hahahaha delicious!</p>

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<p>haha… when I saw the title of this thread, I got excited/curious for a moment, and then saw Mal’s name underneath. Mal, you sure know how to lighten things up around here as we all sink into deep dark holes waiting for our decisions (it’s not just me, right?)</p>

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<p>Mal,</p>

<p>Thank you for providing me with instant stress relief. :D</p>

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<p>This beverage could be marketing gold… well maybe not gold… but at least marketing zinc!</p>

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<p>Maaaaaal!!
Sorry, I am engaged to hookem, lol.
But you would def be a good columnist.
I think you would be tapped by one of the societies.</p>

<p>You rock! Please do this daily. It helps a lot</p>

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<p>I’m currently plotting today’s article/show…</p>