After reading the other post about the church food line as well, I am wondering if you are familiar with the expression “smile and wave.” You don’t have to aggressively respond to every real or imagined slight, or get together with your mom and sister to assess the rudeness of every real or imagined slight. Just smile and move on.
From your story, this guy seems rude and aggressive. Regardleas of his current situation in life and the circumstances that led him there, he shouldn’t have been so harsh and demanding. In a perfect world you wouldn’t have screamed at him but at the same time, I don’t think you had to give him more food when it was already wrapped away and he was being so mean about it.
Is she there to make sure homeless people have enough to eat? Or to wrap and put away food?
In your other thread, http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-confidential-cafe/1777383-confronting-rude-old-people-p1.html, you were advised that people who are rude might be mentally ill. You should look at that thread. The advice applies here, also.
@MaineLonghorn You’re completely right. I should’ve used the advice I got before to this situation. I just hope I can act better in the future.
I just feel so regretful about the whole situation. I’m actually crying right now because I could have easily just given him the pan of food calmly and he would have left us alone. In the moment I wasn’t thinking that this may be the only plate of food he has to eat for the day or week, and that he might be mentally ill. I feel like the biggest asshole and I’ve just been praying for God’s forgiveness now…
Don’t worry about God’s forgiveness. I’d say you should try again at this task, and keep this in mind as you do. If this makes you more compassionate the next time you meet someone like this, then it is a lesson you can carry with you. Most people aren’t born with compassion for people with challenges in life, and some people never gain it. You seem to be taking this to heart, and that is all anyone could expect at this point. Don’t be too hard on yourself about past actions, just work on it going forward.
I agree this can be about showing compassion, not just asking for forgiveness.
@intparent @lookingforward Thank you for taking the time to respond and giving me encouraging advice. After crying, praying, and sleeping on it, I’m starting to feel better and from now on I’m just going to go back to the way I used to be, by turning the other cheek, keeping my composure, and treating people with compassion like you said. Trust me, yesterday was so out-of-character for me (I’ve never yelled at/been mean to a complete stranger before in my life; I’m actually always overly nice to people), and I never want to act like that again, especially in a church. I have definitely learned my lesson.