<p>My impression was that the two roommates had been in touch before school started. The roommates’s mother probably assumed that the number her D had been using was the OP’s D’s cellphone, not the house line. </p>
<p>Anyway, I agree with those that think there is a little too much that was made here of the mother’s phone call to the OP. Again, it’s the first week of school. Roommate is arranging to get her own cell phone but doesn’t have one yet. Roommates’ mother may have many things to discuss with her child - these may not be of an emergency nature, but there is a lot going on the first week that may have needed attention. Anyway, the mother has been trying to call the room for two days but the line is constantly busy. The mother decides to call her child’s roommate to ask her D to free up the line or call her back for a moment. The mother may have thought that both girls would be in the room and that the only quick favor she would be asking the OP’s D was a quick - can you ask my D who is sitting across the room from you to get off the line and call me?! </p>
<p>When she unexpectedly got the OP, the mother was friendly enough and it doesn’t sound as if she said anything so inappropriate. The fact that she asked for the D’s cell phone number didn’t bother me. As a practical matter, it’s a good idea for parents to have the roommate’s number in case of an emergency. I can’t imagine hesitating to give it to my child’s roommate’s parent under normal circumstances.</p>
<p>However, it does sound as if the OP was concerned about the cost of those incoming calls to the D (who may have a very basic plan). In that case, she could have just said, Do you mind if I give my D the message - D doesn’t have many out of network minutes and it costs her a lot when someone calls her cell phone out of network. But here is the number in case of an <em>emergency</em>. If the mother starts to call all the time, then I’d start to think about being annoyed, but the timing and circumstances of this phone call did not bother me in the least. </p>
<p>As far as the reaction of the roommate to being told that she was taking up too much phone time, we don’t really know anything about what was going on in the head of the roommate - it could have been an “ohhhh!” of understanding, of embarrassment …or of indifference. We also don’t know exactly how the OP’s D handled that first, for lack of a better word, confrontation with the roommate. Did she come across as obviously annoyed, upbeat and friendly, as if she was asking a favor? As someone pointed out earlier, it may not have occurred to the roommate that the OP’s D needed the phone herself, (many kids use their cell phones exclusively) and she may have been entirely unaware that this was an issue until the OP’s D said something. The “Oh” could have reflected that new understanding… or not, we don’t know. </p>
<p>I do agree that there may be more than a little bit of bias as a result of the rest of the situation that was going on at the time, and I’ve already been supportive of the OP and the fact that the rm sounded quite inconsiderate. But what tends to happen in a situation like this is that your whole perspective is colored by the judgments you have already made - if the rm had seemed just fine and wonderful, I think things like the phone call would have seemed like a nonissue.</p>