<p>Also: Accents= better than no accents.</p>
<p>cptofthehouse-- me too! Though I prefer “dowdy.”
In my case it was wearing dungarees (not girly jeans - there’s a difference) and Chuck Taylors before they became trendy and new wave-y. They were comfy, fit my lifestyle, and probably part of the reason behind my flat feet and plantar fascitis! I was weirdly shy as a child and teen, and chose clothes to NOT stand out-- fading into the background was key.</p>
<p>I think some attractive people probably have a somewhat different mirror view of the world. I knew one woman who was stunning (a stage actress) and no matter where she went, she just KNEW that people (especially men!) were happy to see her. It was as if she was on constant flirt alert-- in the deli, at coffee hour after church,etc. Her attitude wasn’t inappropriate or arrogant, but very confident. Would she have been the same if she’d grown up unattractive? Maybe, but doubt it.</p>
<p>And FWIW, I sort of like Susan Boyle’s new look. Not a huge change, but she looks nice. As long as it was her decision–</p>
<p>I dress up my frumpy body with St John, but never with a complete set. Hiding the fat rolls in the middle seem to lower the frumpy quotient a little, so I tell myself.</p>
<p>I am a plain Jane, was a young plain jane and am now an older plain jane.</p>
<p>Murphy Brown, I loved Candice Bergen as Murphy Brown. I thought she had such great style, sophisticated and age appropriate.</p>
<p>I sorta thought I looked pretty good in my talbots. Oh, well.</p>
<p>I’m also struck by the way that aging movie stars with Botox have raised the bar for the rest of us. I don’t remember my grandmother striving so hard to look attractive after the age of sixty or seventy. I CERTAINLY don’t remember my mother striving to be a ‘hot mom’ or a ■■■■. It seems to me that by the time someone is 47, she should be allowed to focus on other, more important things than just physical appearance. </p>
<p>My overall impression of Susan Boyle was of someone who doesn’t devote a lot of attention to her physical appearance – because she’s probably busy doing other things. I’d rather read news magazines than fashion magazines and because of that, I usually show up at the pool wearing the ‘wrong’ nail polish on my toes (LAST season it was salmon and crab colors. THIS season it’s all dark maroons, donchaknow?).</p>
<p>I just find it strange that it’s OK to make fun of the women who don’t know what makeup colors and hair colors are in and out – but it’s not OK to make fun of the women at PTA who say really inane and vapid things that make it obvious they have no idea where Afghanistan is, or who somehow or other have the Civil War and the civil rights movement confused or who think global warming is actually made up and so forth . . . I’d rather be dowdy and well-read myself.</p>
<p>Perhaps because it is necessary to perpetuate the species, I think there is a ground assumption that we all do what we can to make ourselves as attractive as possible to the opposite sex.</p>
<p>This holds especially true for women, who need males to support their offspring.</p>
<p>But I’m with momzie in that I have never been particularly focused on it.</p>
<p>I always considered myself lucky that I had a brain and did not need to rely on my looks for a career. I don’t have any interest in looking young, coloring my hair, wearing makeup, fashion, etc, but as a woman in engineering, my average looks were just fine. I chose a job in research so that I didn’t have to dress up much for work. I think we frumps outnumber the beautiful people, and I think we’re happier!</p>
<p>I am one of four sisters, and I am by far the dowdiest. I wish it didn’t matter, but it does. They make sure they let me know. The youngest shares every diet and anti-aging tip (in a cruel way, then makes fun of me when I am offended. This is the sister who woke me up the night after my father died to tell me someone at the funeral home thought she was my daughter…), the athletic one offers fitness tips, and the eldest offers reassurance (which may be worst of all.) </p>
<p>But I have a dowdy soul. Even when I could, I wasn’t interested in dressing to advertise. I am watching Susan Boyles’s makeovers in case there is something there I can use. Perhaps it says something about my lack of style sense that I DO think she looks better with the makeover. I remember thinking at minimum she needs to pluck her eyebrows. I like the pants. Probably would have gone with a more tailored jacket, rather than the leather that screams ‘so not me.’ And I think she did the right thing, coloring her hair. My hair is still its natural color, but I’m sure there is a day in my future when the gray dulls the blond and I need to do something. I don’t pay too much attention to it - I’m sure my sisters will let me know.</p>
<p>I actually don’t think I look that bad - it is just by comparison that I do. And isn’t it the “by comparison” part that really makes the difference? We aren’t comparing Susan to other folks in her village or at her church. We are comparing her to American Idol.</p>
<p>No, Binx, you have a lovely soul.</p>
<p>Here on the boards where there are no visuals to distract us, your kindness always comes through.</p>
<p>You are very kind to say so, worknprogress, and now I realize that my post sounds kinda desperate, like I’m begging for affirmation, and I really meant it more matter-of-fact than that. Yes, I’d like to look younger and thinner and fresher – but of the four of us, I like my life best, and wouldn’t change it for anything. So I’m okay with the cards I’ve been dealt.</p>
<p>Okay - maybe I would change just a bit to sing like Susan Boyle!</p>
<p>Binx, your youngest sister sounds like a – ummmm – not nice sister. Let’s leave it at that.</p>
<p>You look fine. You look appropriate. You are healthy. And that’s all that matters.</p>
<p>I used to really like Banana Republic, when they were just a catalog.( maybe I just liked the catalog? it was really romantic)
But now- they are too similar to Gap/JCrew/et.al.</p>
<p>I agree that body type can be the determining factor.</p>
<p>Both older D and I, are fairly * buxom*, combine that with shortish & * short waisted and it is pretty hard to look anything but matronly. ( or if you have something low- necked it is * I’m up here! - I had a reduction a few years ago- I told the Dr. I didn’t want to have to wear a bra * ever again!* but I am still a D 
( good underwear can make the difference)</p>
<p>Younger D however, has a body type that isn’t elsewhere in the family- she is taller than her dad even, and slim everywhere. The clothes that make most other people look dowdy, would look good on her.
- sigh*</p>
<p>I would agree that frumps outnumber the outwardly stunning.
I had a friend when the kids were young who was glamorous-, and it took lots of time/money/energy, to stay that way.
She was sweet and funny, but it was my impression that looks were very important to her first husband, he left her to marry a woman, that to me had very similar looks, but was about 15 years younger.
Some men tend to do that a bit :rolleyes:
( on the other hand- men who are * too pretty* like Ashton Kutchner, don’t appeal to me at all- I like more of the Bob Hoskins type- or Bill Nighy- character counts)</p>
<p>Beauty of course comes from within- I haven’t met any ugly people who are warm and friendly.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>You’ve just named every place I buy clothes! And I <em>like</em> Eileen Fisher!!</p>
<p>Does anyone else have the impression that clothes are designed for a certain body type – the long and lanky – which makes it hard for the rest of us to find clothes?</p>
<p>I always try to find something to buy at J. Jill and nothing looks good on me.</p>
<p>(Also I agree with emeraldkity about Bill Nighy over Kutcher!)</p>
<p>Same here, consolation – I’ve bought clothing from all those places. (Chico’s only once, although they just opened a store near where I live, and I’ll probably take a look at some point. I kind of thought Chico’s was for younger women; maybe I"m wrong.) Throw in ann taylor, and I’m all set! (Basically, I’m limited to places that have petite departments, because I’m so short. For department stores in NYC, that means Macy’s and Lord & Taylor; most of the others have eliminated their petite departments.)</p>
<p>Anyway, at 54, and noticing the beginnings of varicose veins in a couple of places, skirts even slightly above the knee are starting to make me feel self-conscious. I’m not even sure how I feel about wearing shorts this summer.</p>
<p>I kind of like clothes. And I have a shape. Kind of a rectangular shape. (The last time I tried on what was supposed to be a sleek column dress I kind of thought I looked quite a bit like a refrigerator. Hmmm, where did my waist go? Sigh…)</p>
<p>I love ordering clothes online from the Lands End catalog.</p>
<p>I generally like Ann Taylor clothes but they are expensive - I like Marshall’s and TJ Maxx.</p>
<p>p.s. I agree - Susan Boyle did look like someone who would be teaching at a university, didn’t she…</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I totally agree.</p>
<p>A genuine smile does wonderful things. As does genuine interest in other people.</p>
<p>Binx, your story reminds me of countless fairy tales I’ve read about sisters. And it’s always the one with the kind soul (who shares her slice of bread with the beggar) who lives happily ever after.</p>
<p>I think the most important “asset” in looking well dressed is good posture. Although it does help to know what works with your body type. I’ve always been kind of thin and not that well endowed, and lately my stomach is starting to stick out more than any other part of me. Since I don’t have much bust to offset the belly, it’s really noticeable! But if I stand up straight, it sort of disappears a little bit…</p>