<p>I find it interesting, as does my husband, that especially as we age & get to know others, their personalities affect their appearance. Those with inward beauty do honeslty start looking lovelier and lovelier, at least to us. I too have sibblings who are less than kind and who have suggested hubby & I start coloring our hair–don’t plan to.</p>
<p>It is easier when we can wear a variety of styles “off the rack” and look pretty good in them (of course they always look better on our younger kids). I’m happy with my age and really don’t want to dress like my kids or their peers; some of the moms my age & some of my sibs seem to–can’t identify.</p>
<p>I think the trick is “being comfortable in our own skin.” Most days I am, but I know my sisters can make me feel dowdy, even tho hubby & my kids are saints & always says I look great–with conviction. I know I contribute a great deal to society by what I do, but it’s always nice to have loved ones affirm that we DO look good and make a pleasant appearance. It’s true, especially when we testify and make public appearances that we want to look good.</p>
<p>I have three sisters and I do not think yours sound very nice!!! Like I tell my kids - if they have to put you down, it is due to some inner feeling of something THEY are lacking - maybe they are secretly jealous of YOUR relationship with your spouse, YOUR great kids, YOUR sense of humor, YOUR relationship with your parents, etc. Some day you may just have to straight up tell them to can it, if you want that kind of advice you can buy a beauty magazine, and then go out to lunch with them - because in the end, sisters are forever!!</p>
<p>I am quite certain that my snarky sister (only one is that way - the others are not intentionally insulting) is dealing with her own issues, which is what I remind myself. She does not live close by, and from a distance, she really has no idea what issues I deal with.</p>
<p>Whoever said “words will never hurt you” never had a sister, though. I have my own defenses - I try to avoid family situations where my H cannot be there - they know he won’t put up with it. I skipped a major family function because he couldn’t attend. I felt bad about it, and talked to a trusted friend who is a minister - felt sure I’d get a lecture on forgiveness or something. But instead he said, “Even a dumb dog learns to avoid people who kick him.”</p>
<p>My birth family is very honest and blunt. To an extent, that is a positive - we don’t ever have to guess what each other is feeling. And if I ever want an honest answer to something, I know who to ask. But I have raised my own children with the adage: Home has to be safe. The outside world offers plenty of insult and abuse; home has to be safe. </p>
<p>My own children are best friends with each other, and people have commented from the time they were very little about how well they get along. I was adamant that my kids would always be on each other’s side, and they took it seriously. It is one good thing that has come out of it.</p>
<p>But to be clear, my sisters have many wonderful assets, and I am proud of all of them for one thing or another. But because we are sisters, we know which buttons to push. We have a strong bond, but it it prickles sometimes.</p>
<p>Sisters CAN be kind and some never push the buttons, tho they know they are there. My youngest sister and my sister-in-law are the two extended family I am closest to. My younger and older sister somehow seem to always be competitive and manage to make most compliments back-handed at best. I am actually sad for them that they feel the need to compete with me. I have never understood the backstabbing. I cherish my friendship with my mom, youngest sister and sister-in-law because we are all kind but honest with one another. We can just be ourselves, unlike when we’re with my two other sisters.</p>
<p>With my brothers, I am never quite sure what to expect but generally have an easier time figuring them out.</p>
<p>My kids are also best friends and I’m very happy about that. They are always supportive of one another. They are also close to us, which also makes us very happy.</p>