yet another (cute) college ranking

<p>The criteria for this is hilarious- proximity to Taco Bell, number of male vocal groups?</p>

<li>Penn State</li>
<li>U Florida</li>
<li>Virginia Tech</li>
<li>U Oklahoma</li>
<li>Auburn</li>
<li>U Alabama</li>
<li>LSU</li>
<li>U Tennessee</li>
<li>Clemson</li>
<li>Mich State</li>
<li>West Kentucky</li>
</ol>

<p>CollegeHumor Web site "rates the top colleges in the country “for having the maximum amount of fun while putting forth the least amount of effort.” Pennsylvania State University came in first.</p>

<p>Scores were based on 13 categories, including stadium capacity, average February temperature, percentage of female students, closest Taco Bell and number of male vocal groups.</p>

<p>Steve Orlando, UF spokesman, said there’s a good chance the recent recognition would bring more attention to UF.</p>

<p>“Well gosh, you know, I think the Taco Bell factor is really important to a lot of people, so that’s bound to draw a big crowd,” Orlando said with a laugh.</p>

<p>The Web site states that a college’s proximity to a Taco Bell restaurant could be the most important factor in the rankings. It also states that a high number of male vocal groups lowers the score. The rankings report UF has just one male vocal group.</p>

<p>UF’s 69-degree temperature in Feburary and high number of “cute college girls” might have bumped it up to the second slot.</p>

<p>Orlando said UF made no extra efforts to acquire its recent acclaim."
(From the Independent Alligator- [The</a> Independent Florida Alligator: News - CollegeHumor.com gives UF second place in ‘Americas Top Colleges’ List](<a href=“http://www.alligator.org/articles/2007/11/19/news/features/humor.txt]The”>http://www.alligator.org/articles/2007/11/19/news/features/humor.txt))</p>

<p>I love the criteria:</p>

<p>"Percent Female
This is the number that determines how much action you’re likely to get at school. Say it’s 60%. That means if there are 10 people, 4 of them will be dudes and 6 of them will be chicks. And on top of it, if you go to a liberal arts school you can bet at least one of those four is too busy working on his film to talk to girls, which means there’s no reason why you shouldn’t be knee-deep in sin.
Average SAT
Statistics show that the hotness (i.e. sluttiness) of girls is inversely proportional to the score received on the SATs. The higher the SAT score, the uglier the girls get. If she got a 1600 you better believe she’s a dog. So don’t get too down if your scores weren’t as high as you hoped, you get to spend the next 4 years in paradise. </p>

<h1>pics uploaded to CH</h1>

<p>This one’s pretty simple. The more pics you upload to CH the better. There’s nothing that makes a school better than its student body. The more embarrassing pictures we have of that student body, the better.
Percent Greek
The number of fraternities and sororities on campus is closely related to how crazy the parties are. Having said that, academic or Christian fraternities, though technically considered “Greek”, really have no place in this statistic.
Bar Closing Time
The later your bar closes, the better your chances are of (legally) sedating that cute blonde who’s way out of your league. And by sedating we mean wooing her with your eloquent words.
Freshman Retention Rate
Your school can’t be that great if everyone’s trying to get out. If your retention rate is low, get the hell outta there.
Percent Commuters
Commuters are like townies. You never see them around campus but they always show up to parties and drink your beer. They’re not really part of the whole school vibe. Show them no respect.
Stadium Capacity
Bigger stadium equals bigger sports scene equals awesome sports events equals more parties and tail-gating. It may sound cheesy, but school pride is where it’s at.
Average Temperature in February
When it starts getting colder, girls will inevitably enter their “comfortably fat hoodie” stage. This means staying inside instead of going out, while chowing down on Cool Ranch Doritos with the girls. It’s bad news for you when they just want to “stay comfy” and “pig out”.
Closest Taco Bell
Possibly one of the most important statistics we offer for the Power Rankings. Your school’s proximity to this delectably cheap fast food paradise is of utmost importance for late Friday nights, wee hours of Saturday mornings. Crunch Wrap Supremskis here we come!
Billboard Peak
When you’re looking for something to make your chump high school friends jealous of how awesome your school is the first thing you should tell them is how many girls you hooked up with. The second thing you should brag about is what bands or artists came to your school. The higher they rank on the billboard list, the higher your ranking.
Cute College Girls on CH
The more the better! We get a ton of Cute College Girl submissions with only a select 3 each week. If some cutie from your school made the cut you better believe your school will jump up in the Power Rankings. Though having a Cute College Girl at your school doesn’t necessarily mean she’ll come to your Halloween party.</p>

<p>[CollegeHumor’s</a> 2007 - 2008 Power Rankings - America’s Top Colleges, According to Us](<a href=“Dropout - Independent, ad-free, uncensored comedy | Dropout”>Dropout - Independent, ad-free, uncensored comedy | Dropout)</p>

<p>WE ARE ----- PENN STATE!!! </p>

<p>Just had to say it :)</p>

<p>This is so funny - my son’s friend went to Penn State and he is a Taco Bell fanatic! He was a Taco Bell fanatic in high school too! After graduation, he taught for a year in Korea and the only thing he wanted for Christmas was tacos. I saw his mom in the grocery store buying them to mail to him!!</p>

<p>Hey, where’s the University of Maryland?</p>

<p>They have a Taco Bell in the food court in their student union.</p>

<p>Unfortunately thanks to the engineering curriculum at public schools, with super grade deflation, no fun is to be had. Even with a full scholarship I sob in my own misery.</p>

<p>Marian, U of Maryland ranked a respectable 36. They list a Taco Bell located .7 miles from campus. I guess it depends on what is defined as the “center” of campus. Some of the other factors that hindered the terps were the percentage of females (a paltry 48% compared to NYU’s 62%), the size of the football stadium (51500 compared to UMich’s whopping 107501), and the average temperature in February (a chilly 46, vs. Arizona’s 72). One redeeming stat- bar time closure (3 AM in College Park). Although you still can’t beat the SUNY’s 4AM closing times.</p>

<p>Hey, they’re in the top 50! What more can you ask for?</p>

<p>wow - this is pretty funny. Don’t think the admin at the schools on the top 10 list will be too happy since a ranking like this doesn’t exactly point to academic quality…but lots of kids will probably be thrilled. Kind of like the party school ranking I guess.<br>
Anyway, good to see that those PSU girls have the highest SAT scores of the top ten bunch - guess that didn’t hurt too much on the final score.
The stats here are pretty suspect though. Looking at freshman retention rate, I know , that PSU is in the low 90s (not that they need extra help in the rankings). Also, the “commuter” rates seem pretty high too. Maybe these kids had a few beers when they were doing the survey…</p>

<p>toneranger, lol WRT commuter rates. “Bro… where do I live?” </p>

<p>As far as my kids’ college and my alma mater (different schools but altogether amazingly similar in a lot of ways)… living off campus is in most cases just another extension of campus. There are so many “student ghettos”; rental homes adjacent to campus, apartments that are just as good as being in dorms… You can’t really count living someplace within walking distance, or at least bus/bike distance, as “commuting”.</p>

<p>Heehee. In the immortal words of Spicolli, “Hey, Bud, let’s party!”</p>