<p>My nephew got married in June and it’s not looking good. How long does a marriage have to last before you can keep the gifts?</p>
<p>With her usual brilliant good sense, Miss Manners says:
This is from a column she wrote back in 2007, in response to a newlywed bride who discovered her husband had been cheating on her. I assume Miss Manners would feel the same way today. <a href=“http://www.chron.com/life/article/Miss-Manners-Bride-can-keep-gifts-in-spite-of-1806529.php[/url]”>http://www.chron.com/life/article/Miss-Manners-Bride-can-keep-gifts-in-spite-of-1806529.php</a></p>
<p>Personally, once I give the gift, I don’t want it back under any circumstances. And after several months, wouldn’t most gifts already have been used? Sorry to read the sad news about your nephew’s marriage.</p>
<p>LOL! I would consider a gift given a gift given! I’m pretty sure the items that were given have now been used, and no one has retained a receipt.</p>
<p>That’s fine for gifts given. I wouldn’t expect it back either. But my father gives a sizeable cash gift to the grandkids. I certainly don’t think he should keep that. And yes, I know it’s none of my business and have no intention of voicing my opinion to anybody in the family. But the kid is 25. Say he gets married again in a year or two. Hope he doesn’t expect the same kind of gifts.</p>
<p>I had a friend who’s S had a very short marriage with a substantial gift from his grandparent. His ex got half which she used to start her new life. Didn’t seem fair.</p>
<p>Well, if I was the nephew, and the money had not already been utilized, I would consider talking to my uncle about what should be done, and expectations for the future.</p>
<p>However, he’s not really under any obligations to do so. And neither is your dad, obviously, obliged to give this sizable amount of money for any future weddings. In fact, if I were your dad, and there were another wedding, I might be thinking: toaster.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Why not? First of all, it sounds like they aren’t divorced yet, but even if the marriage did end after 6 months, why wouldn’t they keep the money? Was the amount so great your father had to pay gift tax? I wonder if a gift tax would then be due on a returned gift of cash. I really don’t see it happening (a monetary gift being returned)</p>
<p>Although it’d be nice if the nephew returned the money (I would if I was him), or at least offered to, I don’t think he should be obliged to and the grandparent (or anyone else who gave any kind of gift, including large cash ones and including paying for an expensive wedding/honeymoon) took the risk when he gave it that the marriage wouldn’t last. And really, does it make that much difference if it lasts 6 months vs 2 years on this point? What if he took the large cash gift and blew it on a fancy car? Might not the grandparent be not so thrilled then as well? That’s the thing with the gift - I assume it was given with no strings attached and that’d include not requiring a certain length of the marriage.</p>
<p>If the money is not returned (and don’t forget - the spouse gets half of it), then if I was the grandparent I definitely wouldn’t give a large cash gift, or any cash gift, for any subsequent marriages.</p>
<p>People really need to think through gifts like this. Sometimes giving a large cash gift may not be a great idea. I feel bad for the grandfather though. I hope it wasn’t enough to impact him much.</p>