You Are So Much More Than A College Decision

Applying to College Admission Stories
1

Sometimes, bad things happen to good people. We have bad hair days, we step in gum, we get rejected from college. That’s life.

The problem with most good people is that inherent sense of self-doubt that seems to surface oh-so-frequently in this college decision season. What did I do wrong? We are inclined to ask ourselves, and What could I have done better? All too often, good people – great people, even, wonderful, fantastic, amazing people – end up asking themselves that terrible question: What’s wrong with me?

Nothing.

There is nothing wrong with you. One thin envelope (or one click of a mouse) does not alter your being in such a way that you go from the stupendous person that you were to an inadequate, worthless nobody. You are still a somebody; you’re still the same somebody, in fact, and that somebody was and still is amazing.

We put too much stock in college admissions. Sure, we prepare and brace ourselves, and sure, we know the odds, but up until that final moment when we reach into the mail box or the page finishes loading, we are holding on to this tiny thread of hope that somehow, someway, it’s all going to work out and be fair. Let me tell you: it is all going to work out, but it may not always seem fair.

The simple fact of the matter is that our idealized view of the admissions process, with everyone who deserves a place getting one, is just that – idealized. The reality is uglier, and it’s not what we want to hear. In reality, there are too many of us and we are too different and too qualified for there to be enough room for every school to take every applicant that deserves a space. That’s why it’s folly to take these decisions to heart – because honestly, a rejection doesn’t mean that you weren’t qualified. It means nothing of the sort.

But of course, we do take our decisions to heart. We find ourselves surrounded by thoughts of missed opportunities and what could have been. We get disappointed – and that’s ok. It’s human, and it’s normal. We invest so much of ourselves into our applications, trying to distill sixteen or seventeen or eighteen years of living, of laughing, and of learning into four or five sheets of paper. We spend so many days poring over websites and guidebooks and essays and then we spend so many months of agony waiting that it is only right to be disappointed. Disappointment is natural, and it will run its course. You will be so happy that you will forget why you were ever even disappointed.

The really dangerous thing is despondency. When we allow ourselves to sink into a despondent state, when we become frantic with our what ifs and start deprecating ourselves and equate one decision with a failure of our lives overall, that is where the problems begin.

So don’t. Don’t let a rejection be the undoing of you. Cry your tears, if you need to, and then wipe your eyes and face toward the future. Life is far too short to waste days on unhappiness; in the end, you’re going to end up happy, so why not get started today?

It may seem like the end of the world, but I promise, it’s not. It may seem like your future’s bleak, but I promise, it’s bright. It may seem like that one school was the only key to happiness, but I promise, it isn’t.

We are all going to end up somewhere that is right for us. We may not realize it when we put down our deposits and we may not realize it when we stare wistfully at others’ bumper stickers, but we are going to go to the right school. We are going to go to the right school and we are going to do great things.

Each and every one of you is destined for greatness. You have worked hard and you will work hard and no one can take that away from you. You have the basics: you are already incredible, impressive, astounding, terrific, splendid, wonderful, marvelous, and otherwise breathtaking. You are unique and you are brilliant. You will achieve heights greater than you could ever dream in the moment that you are holding that proverbial thin envelope.

You’ll show them, and then some.

So hang in there, 2011-ers, and remember:

YOU ARE SO MUCH MORE THAN A COLLEGE DECISION!

2

Thank you for the INCREDIBLE read! This is something more people, myself included, need to realize.

3

I got rejected to more schools than I would have liked. Thank You!!! This was a real pick-me-up

4

:slight_smile: I’m glad you guys liked it. I’ve sort of become an unofficial college-decision cheerleader at my school: it’s my mission to make sure everyone realizes that it’s going to be okay!! :smiley:

5

OP, PLEASE re post this wise, uplifting post on the Parents Forum. These words can help heal many temporarily broken hearts.

6

Erm, okay. If you say so! :slight_smile:

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“I’ve sort of become an unofficial college-decision cheerleader at my school”

It’s great that you’re going out of your way to help kids at your school…Your post was amazing and I feel like every student who has been feeling inadequate due to college rejection(s) should read this.

8

Great post.
I think what’s important is how hard we work. I know people who’ve gone from “non-prestigious” universities to top careers. As a senior and future '15, I want to congratulate every student. Hopefully, we’ll all make a differences. As Neil Howe and William Strauss said in Generations, Gen Y (us) is the hero generation.

9

nah…you fail admission, you fail life

10

ok, so this is super late…but anyways.
That was an amazing post, it was super encouraging and REALLY helps put things in perspective. I think I want to share it with some of my friends…
I too became a cheerleader of sorts during this entire process. :]

yay for positive outlooks!

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people who accept their rejection are going down the path of failure
dont listen to this guy; you are less than a college decision
that means you failed the first important step in life; if you fail the first, how do you plan to get by…huh??
dont listen to him; cry, sob, whatever, just dont think your special because you think it’ll make you feel better about yourself
you failed

12

Yay for pessimistic trolls!

13

Wonderful post; thank-you, theBybee.

14

I like the post, but it is somewhat too idealistic… if you didn’t get in, that means you clearly weren’t qualified to get in relative to the other people who applied there.

15

That is simply not true. I take a bit of a cynical look at admissions. However, many, many qualified applicants get rejected or waitlisted simply because there are not enough slots. Proof? Look at how many people get into Yale/rejected Harvard, into Williams/waitlisted Amherst. I was admitted to Bowdoin, Carleton, and Haverford, but waitlisted at Middlebury, Williams, and Amherst, peer institutions. Don’t tell me that somehow I’m qualified for Bowdoin but not qualified for Middlebury. In another year, I could have been rejected by all of my schools or accepted at all of my schools. Admissions are based on qualifications but they have an element of luck because so many people apply. Don’t let your admissions get to your head.

Sorry to digress. The OP is completely correct about admissions. Keep working hard!

16

This should be stickied :slight_smile:

17

this thread is really great!

18

I think this is really important, and something that’s hard to get until you’ve got a decent bit of time between yourself and application season. A commencement speaker at my sister’s college remarked that he didn’t get into the top-50 school as an undergrad because he hadn’t shined brightly enough during high school. He shined for the next several decades of his career, getting 26 patents and making major contributions to the creation of the microchip.

Your college admittance does not define how successful you will be in life. It may tell you where your education is beginning, but nothing else.

19

Although I appreciate the message of the OP, it is also important to remember that you should NOT forget about the rejection nor be complacent with mediocrity. Sure, you failed once with college admissions. Yes, you did fail.
BUT moving on means to accept your past failure as truth and to try HARDER next time to reach your highest potential, not just saying “eh, I guess this is the best I can do.”