<p>*I have been inspired to create this thread by SBMom’s comment in another thread, about phone calls to/from kids we never hear from, “I time my phonecalls for the walk across campus times too. Easy since I know her schedule.” * I dedicate this thread to my son.</p>
<li><p>You don’t have a clue as to what your kid’s “schedule” is and you don’t care.</p></li>
<li><p>You have not heard from your son for 3 weeks and he calls to ask how you are doing, and you think, “how nice of him to call.” </p></li>
<li><p>You forget that its your kid’s birthday and have to send a “belated” greeting card. </p></li>
<li><p>You don’t know or care who your kids are dating. (All I know is that my son has dated a succession of different girls named Erica – either that or he simply keeps telling me the same phony name over and over again)</p></li>
<li><p>Your kid calls to say hello after he arrives home from vacation, and you didn’t know that he was out of town.</p></li>
<li><p>You only expect to see your kids on major holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas. </p></li>
<li><p>You quit hanging around web site forums devoted to colleges and become obsessed with your own interests/career/hobbies instead. (Not there yet!)</p></li>
</ol>
<p>How about when you call your son and he says “Uh, I’m kind of busy now . . .” and you hang up and think, “Well, at least he answered the phone . . .”</p>
<p>Wow…this one makes me feel much better about my fiance and his mother’s relationship!</p>
<p>My fiance went about a month of not calling his mom…my incessant bugging finally got to him and he finally called her.</p>
<p>The reason it took him so long to call her?</p>
<p>The guilt trips she would place on him each time she talked to him (about once a week previously). Guilt about why he doesn’t call more often, etc.</p>
<p>Well, the ignoring tactic worked. She is now being much better about not doing the guilt trip thing each time he talks to her (now it seems to be every couple or three weeks).</p>
<p>I guess only talking once in a blue moon makes parents feel happy their son/daugther actually made the effort to call.</p>
<p>On the other hand, I bet my mom is waiting for me to back off on the calls! I call her at least once a day during the week and more infrequently over the weekend.</p>
<p>But I am feeling better that my fiance isn’t the only 20something male that rarely calls his parents! ;)</p>
<ol>
<li><p>You don’t arrange to send him another bank card when he loses his for the fourth time in a foreign country.</p></li>
<li><p>You don’t call Adventure Headquarters when there is a rebel firefight near your son’s budget safari tour.</p></li>
<li><p>You don’t care what state his room is in. </p></li>
<li><p>You are too old to wait up for him.</p></li>
<li><p>He doesn’t have a curfew. </p></li>
<li><p>You don’t shriek when he tells you, a) he’s got a 24 year old French girlfriend (and he’s 17), b) he scaled scaffolding to get a view of the sunrise on new Year’s Eve and was invited in to a strange apartment as he climbed past, or c) he’s got mono and strep throat.</p></li>
<li><p>You don’t remind your husband not to whistle in front of son when he hears about such things as a 24 year old French gilrfriend.</p></li>
<li><p>You don’t care how low his pants are when he gets on those long haul flights becasue the cute ticket agents don’t. You’re happy when he gets upgraded to First Class. You don’t give one thought to the poor middle aged person who has to sit next to his boxers and torn jeans and flip flops in Frist Class. You aren’t tempted to put a tag on his bottom announcing the known state of cleanliness of bottom and boxer.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>its not looking their suitcase when they pack, and just know that the worst thing that could happen is they have no socks</p>
<p>its letting them set the agenda for the college trips, just TRYING to go with the flow</p>
<p>its not worrying that they are doing nothing special all weekend, figuring, if they can’t organize , we don’t have to entertain them, but enjoy the hanging out</p>
<p>its being there for the hugs if they get cut from a sport, or don’t get the part, and knowing for sure that they WILL survive and move on</p>
<p>its knowing that they can handle the crushes, the dramas, the mean girls, the weird guys and not giving advice all the time</p>
<p>its not bugging them about the state of their room and if they forget to wash that special sweater for the dance, well, mom ain’t gonna do it</p>
<p>…when you ask “when are you going home” you are talking about his/her college. (My mom did that Thanksgiving freshman year…didn’t take too long).</p>