“First, college and graduate school are still places where lots of people find romantic partners, but I think there is a fair amount of social pressure now on students not to couple up, for fear that it will distract them from their studies and interfere with establishing their brilliant careers. And that’s right: Romantic involvement, successful or not, requires energy, time, and compromises, all of which may affect the achievement of other goals. If you get absolutist about it – nothing should get in the way of X! – then there’s little or no hope for real romantic engagement. And increasingly, I think young adults get the message that they ought to be absolutist about their careers, at least until that mythical point when they are “established.””
This does seem to be the case in some instances but how unfortunate/shortsighted, IMO. I’ve never given this message to my kids. Sure, I want them to have a successful career (yes, self-supporting but enjoyable as well) however, I think finding a great life partner will have an even greater impact on their happiness over a lifetime. Yes, relationships while studying are a time commitment and can be messy but they are when working on one’s career as well. Even the messy and unsuccessful outcomes are learning experiences, IMO, and will hopefully lead to better choices down the road.