<p>Has anyone else found, since the return of the college student, that younger, high school siblings are cranky about giving up thier “position?”</p>
<p>My high school D has been a pistol since oldest got home. If they weren’t “at it,” I’d find it kind of hillarious. But, I don’t. Not yet. I’m working on it.</p>
<p>It depends on the kids. My middle son used to get kind of weird when his sister would come home. My youngest son is happy to have his brother home.</p>
<p>I found that my S2 was cranky whenever S1 was home from college. They fought like warriors. Still do. </p>
<p>When S2 went away the following year, and came back that first summer, I found he had a great time with his younger sister. No problems, whatsover. It’s kinda creepy, after the first go-round.</p>
<p>I like it. Way better than the conflict, that’s for sure.</p>
<p>I never thought of the two younger sibs being as close, until the oldest went away to college. They reconnected. It was awesome. </p>
<p>The youngest sib has no issues with either brother.</p>
<p>By the way, I finally did get to the bottom of why S2 would get upset when his sister came home. For complicated reasons, mostly in his head, he felt diminished when she came home. Partly because he felt we valued what she had to say more than what he had to say – not sure if that was true or not but she was four years older so maybe she had more credibility. She was always a tough act to follow and so when she’d come home from her Ivy League world, I think he became a little insecure. This was his stuff, not stuff we were putting on him or that she was and he had to work through it. Also, I think he was shoved back into the position of being the middle child (even though she is a middle child too) and had gotten used to being the oldest sibling in the house. His authority was challenged in the sibling hierarchy. He worked through it and it improved as his own career in high school blossomed and he found his own niche that was separate from what hers had been. They have a great relationship. In fact he has a great relationship with all of his siblings. It’s just tough sometimes to be displaced by a returning sibling.</p>
<p>I came home all excited to take my younger sister out to lunch periodically and hang out again having literally not spoken to her since September (too busy doing her own thing I guess), only to be told, “go back, nobody wants you here!” Ouch!</p>
<p>Emahee-- sorry to hear that. That’s kind of what happened here. </p>
<p>It’s a little better, now. The older one has moved on and decided that she isn’t going to “play,” and now the younger one is being nicer.</p>
<p>MimK6-- I think that dynamic is at play here too. The oldest just came home from her first year at school and I suspect the younger feels 1. irritated she was left at home. 2. Annoyed that we’ve been a little too focused on “catching up.”</p>
<p>I’ve planned to take D2 to do something just the two of us this weekend because they seem to be fighting more with H and I there and I suspect it might be an attention thing. Who knows? I didn’t expect it, though. Live and learn.</p>
<p>find similar dynamics here, youngest (8th gr)can be a tad competitive for air time with older bro and sis, (but mostly with bro). wants to talk about his accomplishments and interests and is a bit impatient with the give and take of dinner table talk. already improving, but have seen the adjustment process last couple years…</p>
<p>as you said poetgrl, those first few days especially of catching up with the college aged sibs must feel irritating to the younger sib. overall my three get along so well this is a short lived blip, try to find the rare things we can all do together…baseball games fit the bill well, trip to the gym, or a swim with our golden</p>
<p>Transitions are hard and the college years mean pretty much constant transitioning with them home, then gone, then back, etc.</p>
<p>Sometimes I really question the whole model of having kids leave at 18 to go away to college? Why? So expensive, so disruptive. It’s the done thing but I wonder if it’s always the right thing. Of course, if no acceptable local college options then I guess it’s necessary.</p>
<p>D1 is very chatty. She dominates the conversation at dinner table when she is home. I find her quite amusing. D2 finds her sister invading her space when she is home. When D1 is not home, D2 gets treated as the only child. Dynamic really changes when D1 is home and it takes all of us some time to adjust, not just for D2.</p>
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<p>Sounds like our house. True, true, true.</p>
<p>Our younger child, D, misses her older brother when he’s gone. But she admits that she liked being the “only.” At first she was worried that when her brother left for college we’d be hounding her 24/7 for details on her life, since she was the only one we had to focus on. Now she says she likes having the bathroom to herself, and my asking HER what she wants for dinner, instead of making what her brother likes. But I have to say, they always got along well and now they get along REALLY well when he’s home. They’ve never been especially close, but they don’t fight a lot either.</p>