<p>I just this moment got it. The penny dropped. Why I have been gently sad this summer, more so than last summer. Younger son will be starting his sophomore year in a couple of weeks. He made a successful transition to college, had a nice summer with a mix of new and old friends and some productive work. Older son is mostly settled into new life. So kids are doing well, DH and I get along. Why the gentle sadness all this summer? So different from last summer and last fall?</p>
<p>Here it is: I am gently extraneous now. Now, I do understand that this is fundamentally untrue. However, it is also, fundamentally, quite very true. Two sides to the same coin. </p>
<p>Last summer I was the main support beam. Most of the scaffolding was firmly placed by DS, but my strength was still essential. I was part of the structure, the excitement, the anticipation. </p>
<p>I am so happy to see the flight of my nestlings. So very happy and grateful. But I did love being a mamma. Now I am mother. That special intimacy is well and truly gone. </p>
<p>This has been a very different summer. Sigh. Smile. Sitting with the sadness. This too shall pass.</p>
<p>I think it’s the alignment of the planets. I’ve lately been in a funk I cannot shake. My friends and I decided this summer has sucked. Too many funerals. Too many stories of young people dying.</p>
<p>Maybe it’s all hormonal.</p>
<p>Me–I do always look forward to fall. Always felt like new beginnings to me. And I am exceedingly thankful that I still have two at home. At least for a while.</p>
<p>Put your feet up and have a glass of wine. Sure can’t hurt. . .</p>
<p>I cannot tell you how many people (including me) have said that this summer just hasn’t been quite right - emotionally, etc. Just kind of the summer that sort of wasn’t! </p>
<p>Hugcheck - don’t write off your role yet! It may be different, but still oh so valuable!</p>
<p>MyLB and abasket: yes. Thanks for recognizing the oddness of this round. It has been gorgeous weather which usually sparks energy but this summer, even on the most beautiful days, the energy has been low. Yes - too many sad stories… young people dying, or struggling… hormones in flux… news tales of terror… planets… oil… cell phones… who knows what. An odd summer, for sure. Age and stage. Sending youngsters off into this strange imperfect world with all its overwhelming beauty and struggle. Somebody slap me!</p>
<p>No slaps - just gentle hugs! It gets better and it will feel different when you send him off to his senior year. (Nowdays, when you send them off to their senior year, you wonder if they will be moving back home come June. ;))</p>
<p>Hugs, hugcheck. It has been a sad, strange, quiet sort of summer. But good things will come. I suspect the intimacy of being a momma is not really gone, just transformed into a different shape so that it can better fit the contours of new lives, new roles. Maybe it just takes a little while to recognize it in its morphed state. In the meantime, warm thoughts.</p>
<p>I know exactly how you feel, and I’ve been feeling it too. My DD is just starting senior year of college, and for the first time didnt come home this summer. My DS joined the Marine Corps last year after hs graduation, and just left for his first deployment. Believe me when I tell you, sending them off for school is much different than sending them to parts unknown! It’s been a sad and strange summer.</p>
<p>I raised them both to be strong, independent, self-sufficient adults…and they are, and I’m so grateful. Jeez, why did they have to go do what I say? :)</p>