I was 31 with our first, 34 with our second. My husband was two years older. I think it worked out well. We had married when I was 21 and he was 23, but we were nowhere near ready to be parents then. I’m glad we waited.
I’ve always found it interesting that my mother also had her two children at 31 and 34. But we looked at the experience differently. She was intensely embarrassed to be having her children so “late” – so much so that she lied about her age (pretending she was 5 years younger) for about a decade (until the day when I found her high school yearbook ). I felt perfectly normal having children in my early thirties. So much changed in a generation.
I was 39, DH was 40. We were told we couldn’t have children but never planned to have any anyway, so life was good. I was four months pregnant when I found out at my annual checkup. I had a very, very, very hard time adjusting to parenthood after 20 wonderful, childless years with DH. It was a paradigm shift that rocked my world. I love our son viscerally, but I would not do parenthood over again for anything in the world.
32 and 37. I would have gone for a few years earlier but things didn’t work out that way. On the plus side I was certainly ready to spend time with kids–I had a lot more patience and money.
Almost 31 and almost 35 when our kids arrived. It worked for us; biggest disadvantage was that as DH and my parents had us in their 30’s, they were older when our kids arrived. We won’t be young grandparents either…
36 for the first and 43 for the second. Didn’t intend there to be 7 years between them but that’s what happened. If we’d started earlier maybe we’d have had a third. I had zero trouble keeping up with them despite being an older parent. I was always faster than they were. Still am.
29 and 30. Wouldn’t change a thing. Old enough to be wise and lived and seen the world, young enough to keep up with them-although every person is different, that’s where I felt I needed to be to be a good mom.
We were also married at 23 (he was 25) and we enjoyed having those years to ourselves (although really we just worked our butts off the entire time, lol). Grandparents aren’t really involved on either side, so it wasn’t a consideration to have kids earlier.
I was 33 for the first and 36 for the second. DH is six month younger than me. It worked out well for us. We got married at 28 and went to Germany for DH’s post doctoral fellowship. Being young and childless in Europe was great and we took advantage of it. We had our oldest six months before we left and that was great too. Six months paid maternity leave, plus “Muttergeld” extra money just for being a Mom! The birthing experience was much more civilized than it is here.
I was 29 and 31 when my daughters were born. I wouldn’t change anything about that (although D1 might, if she could; she felt displaced by her younger sister). Ex-h is seven years older. I think I’ve become a better parent over the years, whereas my ex really started to struggle as a parent and spouse once the children reached their pre-teen years. I don’t know if that was because of his own problems or because he didn’t know how to be a parent once the children became more complex individuals (as we all do).
I was 33 and 38 when I had mine. Waiting another year to have my first would have been nice, not so much because of my age, but because it would have been nice to have more time as just a married couple before children entered the picture. I also wish there weren’t as much of an age difference between my kids, but waited until we saw the light at the end of the tunnel regarding my H in grad school before having second one. Working out well though in terms of non-overlapping college tuition!
Married at 21 (h was 22), kids at 25, 30, and 33. I wouldn’t change it except it might have been nicer if my 2nd was born a year earlier to make the spacing a little more even–the age gap between 1 and 2 sometimes felt too large, and the gap between 2 and 3 sometimes felt way too small (they are really 2.5 years apart).
We married at 26 and had our kids at 30, 32, 38, 42. They would have been closer, but S2 has autism and I needed time with him during the preschool years without a new baby. However, we then had trouble conceiving so the second 2 ended up 4 years apart. I would have liked a 5th child, but I was too old.
We were more active parents with the older two, and probably not as much fun with the younger two. I was THE oldest mom of D2’s peer group, and made no friends among them other than those I had met through my other kids. She, however, is more interested in music, literature, history, and theater because that is what we did with her.
My parents and H’s parents were also older parents so the grandparents were all at least 60 when my kids were born. I see the same for us as we are 60 now.
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But, doing it differently? Nope. The circumstances are what they are. I loved what I got, enjoyed them all then and now.
I technically became an “empty nester” at 46 . . . though we live close to youngest’s campus. It feels too soon, like I still have some gas in the tank.
Had my sons in early to mid 20’s. I always think if I could have the exact same children (which of course is impossible) I’d have waited 10 years perhaps. With age came more patience, better parenting, etc., at least for me. I was really immature when my oldest was born. Wish that I’d had my act together a bit more, for their sake. They are both great kids in spite of their mom LOL, though I’ve always been crazy about them.
Ultimately, however, I wouldn’t change it. Everything works out the way it is supposed to.
I was 38. DH is 2 years older. I think I was a better parent having more life experience; don’t sweat the small stuff and such wonderful life lessons. However, DS didn’t get to really experience healthy grandparents, which was a big part of my childhood. Also, I really hope that I am not too old to enjoy any grandchildren that might come my way.
I was 28 and my husband was 30 when we had our first-ended up being twins. I was 33 for #3 and 39 for #4. When we got married we weren’t sure we wanted kids, then decided we would try one (ha ha). We both had jobs with long hours so decided to stop after the twins and husband had a vasectomy. Later we regretted that decision and so he had it reversed. A few months later and voila!- pregnant.
It has all worked out well, however if we were doing it again we would probably space them closer together. It was harder to find common interests when we vacationed due to the wide range of ages. Also, where my older kids had more active grandparents, our youngest doesn’t remember doing anything fun with them. When the youngest was born, our oldest daughter practically shoved us out of the way so she could take care of him. She loved babies and for her it was a dream come true. Now at 32 she recently had her 1st and I have to say is one of the most relaxed first-time parents ever. I think her little brother must have served as her training grounds. Her twin brother was not remotely interested and moved out when his little brother was only 7, so they were never close. Fortunately now they have gotten to know each other and have similar interests so do spend time together.
Our first was born when I was 25, literally days after DH finished grad school. No regrets, but it might have been nice to wait a couple years to pay off his student loans and have a little fun traveling. It was also super stressful–we had our first baby, sold a house, moved across the country, bought a house, he started a job, and I stopped working, all in a 6 month period. Waiting on the baby might have made things easier but we survived and aren’t unhappy with the way things have worked out.
I wish I had more kids, but not at a different age. I was thirty-two. I had worked, traveled, been married a little while. I was a real grown up and was ready to start a family. My plan was four kids, one every two years. It didn’t turn out that way because H thought two was plenty.
Had I been younger, I would have had more time to talk H into having those extra kids, though. He is older than I am, but didn’t have the same readiness for a family I did. Then he had a serious health issue that made him afraid to have more children. By the time he decided he’d live, I was too old to get pregnant. We could have adopted and I would have been in favor, but H was not.
Having said I wanted more, if I had those four kids, I would only be halfway done right now. Two would be in college, two still at home.
I was 27 and empty nest at 46. She will be graduating college next year.
No regrets as she was meant to be. Still feel young and enjoy the chance to focus on myself again.
First D at 29, H was 31.
Second D at 31, H was 33.
I wouldn’t do anything differently. Married young and so we waited 9 years to have kids so we could finish our schooling and get our careers going first. I like the age when we had kids. Seems like a good age to have them. My own kids will likely have their first kids later than we did though, but also married older than we did.
We had ours when W was 25, 27, and 29. I am 5 years older than her. At 31 she had cancer that would have precluded having biological children. Frankly, 5 years of chemo and other drugs was such a drag we may have not adopted either. We feel very blessed we had our kids when we did.
Being youngish meant we could be a very physically active family. While I was coaching sports, other parents were rehabbing their knee replacements. I took the younger two rock climbing last summer.
There really is no ideal time to have children, but my suggestion to the next generation is to err on the younger side where health and fertility are better than the older side where finances are.
). I felt perfectly normal having children in my early thirties. So much changed in a generation.