<p>interesting story in post 19, but somehow it seems so familiar…</p>
<p>I keep reading posts #2 and #3 over and over again. So funny!</p>
<p>I heard a comedian say-
you don’t have to have two wives to have one too many.</p>
<p>WC Fields said something like this:
I love children. Girl children, about 18 or 20.</p>
<p>I’ve child-proofed my house…but they still get in!</p>
<p>Those diaper packages lie. It says 10-12 lbs but they really don’t hold that much…</p>
<p>(This has got to be one of the oldest jokes around. I don’t know if it is cross cultural, but I first heard it as a Jewish joke 
) </p>
<p>The doting, hovering, helicopter parents have the perfect baby and cater to his every need, nurturing him and giving him everything he could possibly want. As he gets older, he is perfect in every way but much to his parents’ distress, he does not speak! They take him to the doctor who tells the parents the boy seems fine in every way and he cannot explain why the child does not speak. One day, at age 4, the little boy says, “My soup is cold!” His parents are shocked, amazed, delighted!! He speaks! They ask him, why he never spoke before this time? He replied, “Up until now, everything has been ok.”</p>
<p>One day my husband had to pick up some auto parts in a less desirable part of town. We were stopped at a pretty seedy intersection when my six year old son pipes up from the back seat, “Bet you could get shot here on a Saturday night”. This was nearly 20 years ago and I still have no idea where he came up with that one!</p>
<p>This child is famous for his one liners, beginning at the tender age of two. He was a very pretty baby, with a head full of soft curls and was often mistaken for a girl. One night we were at the mall and the older saleslady that was helping me said something about my pretty little girl. I said thank you, but he is a boy, which went right over her head. She made a couple more remarks about her beautiful curls, etc. and again I said he was a boy. One more time and my son, who had been reclined in his stroller, sat bolt upright and said, “Lady, I’m not a girl, I’m a boy. I have a *****”. Poor woman turned bright red, could not even speak she was so mortified. She had probably never said that word in her entire life, lol.</p>
<p>One more, same kid. My sister-in-law was over for breakfast and we were sitting in the dining room talking. My 3 year old son was 20+ feet away in the living room, watching tv. I asked my sister in law how my mother-in-law was and she replied that she had been a real witch (with a b) lately. That night we were out to dinner with family friends. The wife asked my husband how his mom was, to which my son announced, “Oh she’s fine, but she’s been a real witch (with a b) lately”. I had a lot of explaining to do on that one!</p>
<p>My 7 yr old daughter was going out to dinner with family friends. The wife had just gotten a brand new Mercedes sedan, her husband drove a Suburban. So, they all piled into the Suburban and the husband proceeds to back out of the driveway, right into the brand new Mercedes. Dead silence in the car, and then my daughter pipes up, “Good one Clay!” This expression has become part of both families culture and used whenever anyone does anything stupid!</p>