Your kid takes the top scholarship instead of the top school. What's next?

<p>Dstark, what do you mean by “catch up?” If you mean a student is able to find a major and graduate, then I understand. But I think what really happens at very select schools is that the 1350 student you use in your example selects a different set of courses and possibly a different major than they would if they had attended a school where they were at the high end.</p>

<p>I know of a student who attended an elite college (not Dartmouth) as an athletic recruit. This student started out, as so many do, as pre-med (whatever that might mean.) But with athletic practices of 20 hours per week, by the end of the first semester the kid was pulling D’s. This student is now majoring in a different subject – something along the lines of communications – and is doing better. It was a matter of just not being able to run with the wolves on that campus. It will work out well for this student, I’m sure, but it is different from what it would have been at a different college.</p>

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<p>and a-w-a-a-a-a-a-a-y we go!</p>

<p>Curmudgeon, it gets old. :)</p>

<p>Don’t worry, cur. </p>

<p>If it gets too hot, I’ll stop in and steer the topic back to engineering </p>

<p>You are getting sleeeeepy…</p>

<p>“Curmudgeon, it gets old.”</p>

<p>ya think so?</p>

<p>Oh, I’m not joining. Just pointing out that a familiar movie is about to come on. ;)</p>

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<wince></wince></p>

<p>dstark: W/regard to your post #1558-- I agree and have made this point so many times, I can’t count now. </p>

<p>One thing’s for certain-- I have seen so many posts by CC parents that say that they sent their “unmotivated” and “average” kid to an “elite” private, so that the kid could possibly get some motivation, and learn to “soar” among the “sea of intellectuals” at “elite” private, that I’m beginning to think that “sea” is now more like a pond. Also, I’d just like to add that I don’t think a 1450 constitutes a brilliant mind. Just my 2 cents.</p>

<p>Also, I think it’s kind of a shame that the 1350 kid who is surrounded, apparently, by his intellectural superiors (the 1450 kids?), has now had to lower his/her expectations and take an “easier” major. Did I read that correctly? If so, sounds like the “intellectual superiors” fell down on their job. ;)</p>

<p>Dad’o’2: Yeah, I think it’s definitely time to return to engineering. zzzzzz</p>

<p>Just saw dstark’s post. Yes, kind of funny/strange logic, isn’t it?</p>

<p>Curmudgeon, all over America this week, parents are thinking…
"Is my kid getting into elite? Is my kid getting into elite? I hope he gets into elite. I so hope he gets into elite. Is my kid getting into elite? Is my kid getting into elite? Elite! Elite! Elite! Elite! Elite! Elite! Elite!</p>

<p>What? My kid got into an elite?
My kid is ELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTE. :)</p>

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<p>JHS, in your opinion what do HYM offer “educationally and socially” that justifies an investment of an additional $100,000 to $200,000 over the cost of other respected schools?</p>

<p>Jack, ;)…</p>

<p>^^^^LOL #1567. Even if kid got into “elite”… without money, she has been bought and sold to the highest bidder or her choosing (and that is not necessarily the schools offering merit money, some state schools as well). Thank god! I don’t want my kid having to diaper me when I get older.</p>

<p>Folks, I really like the uber-schools. I really do. I appreciate what they bring to the mix , would have supported my D’s choice to attend (had she made that choice), would have paid some amount more for her to attend (had she made that choice), but sometimes y’all just make it very difficult. </p>

<p>Does anybody really think that after 3 years at the same college you can pick out the 1450 kid from the 1350 kid? Do y’all want a mulligan? I’m begging you to take it.;)</p>

<p>(Gosh. I’m helpless against this beast of a compulsion.)</p>

<p>curmudgeon: I think after one day at the same college, you couldn’t pick out the 1450 kid from the 1350 kid. Oh wait. Was that a rhetorical question?? ;)</p>

<p>You know, if you all just want to read posts from those who agree with your premise, can you flag the thread somehow? Then those of us who are honestly just trying to present another point of view will know to stay clear.</p>

<p>I’ve contributed all that I can to this thread, so I’ll relieve you of the unpleasantness of reading any more of my opinions.</p>

<p>I can spot a 1350 from a 1450 any day, but sometimes those 1250’s throw me off. ;-)</p>

<p>LOL - all this talk about 1450s is nuts. My son got higher than score than that. His tastes run to football and rock music. Smart kid - quick learner - but an elite intellectual? Don’t think so. LOL…</p>

<p>janesmom- I think I missed something
I think you are you saying your kid will have to diaper you when you get older if you spend your retirement money now on an elite?</p>

<p>conversely, some will argue that she will be able to afford to pay others to diaper you if she goes to an elite and therefore makes more money?</p>

<p>but what did you mean? help me out, it’s still early out here on the left coast</p>

<p>I have 2 sons. One has always sought out the biggest challenge he could set for himself and ran after it full-tilt. He is at MIT, where we are paying full-freight. The other has always been one to take it easier. He is no less intelligent but has less lofty goals and prefers the life of the senses over the life of the mind. I would never want to throw him onto an “elite” campus, never in a million years. For him, it would never be the right environment: not every kid “rises to the challenge” around those with a more intellectual bent. I’m looking forward to seeing him blossom as a top student on a campus for a change, rather than as a lower-tier student at a hugely competitive and challenging HS. The scholarships he’s being offered now are really giving him a needed boost, and I suspect he’ll pick one of those schools above others with bigger names that haven’t wooed him the same way.</p>

<p>Between this thread, and one on the Yale board about taking a named scholarship at UVA over Yale, I’m starting to feel buyer’s remorse. Am I that big of an idiot to pay $200,000 to send my kid to Yale?</p>

<p>SBmom</p>

<p>Quote:</p>

<p>"So this is not just about rank, it is also about the fine points of environment matching with a kid’s learning style and personality. We were convinced that, for her, a LAC education was critical because of the intimacy offered. Our kid had always done well in discussion-based classes taught by teachers with whom she has felt very connected.</p>

<p>In terms of the peer group, there is no getting around this fact: at her current school my D was basically lucky to make it in thanks to her sports ability and having an acceptable GPA/SAT, whereas at the other two she was one of the kids being ‘bought’ with merit money, in the top ~15% of matriculants. This tells you a great deal about the relative strengths of the applicant pools. </p>

<p>Certainly there are going to be stimulating peers at Beloit, but we wanted her to have a sea of intellectual superiors and a higher ‘middle.’" </p>

<p>Having been there I can somewhat relate to your comments, but with three years view in hindsight I have developed a whole new perspective on things.</p>

<p>S went to a highly regarded all boys private prep school with graduating class of 82, 19 of which were NMSF. ALL his classes were small discussion based classes with some as small as 5-7 students. EAmom and I thought that the perfect environment would be one that matched his skill sets and learning style as well. His list of school was tailored to match…Yale, Amhert, Pomona, Dartmouth etc…</p>

<p>As I said in another post he was fortunate enough to have been offered a Morehead Scholarship at UNC…by far the biggest and most different learning environment of the group. What he found was unlimited opportunities to do whatever his heart or mind desired. We feared that he wouldn’t thrive in a less intimate environment but the opposite has really been the case. He’s had exposure to and developed relationships with top tenured professors, department chairs and since he is acting as TA for a department chair this semester, has had the opportunity to meet one-on-one with numerous world reknown speakers that come in to speak to his class on a regular basis.</p>

<p>If UNC and the Morehead wanted to “buy” my son, more power to them! He made the decison ON HIS OWN to turn down his dream school Yale for the Morehead and has NEVER regretted his decision. The Morehead application process is the most complete and in depth process I have ever seen. Before they make it to finalist weekend they know more about the kid than anyone other than family does and make the most of that information to select and reward those that are fortunate enough to be chosen. I think what really made his decicion for him was the fact that they looked at the whole person, not just the numbers (though his were stellar enough to get him into Yale SCEA) and they REALLY knew what made him tick and talked to him in depth about his passions, then cared enough to want to help facilitate him be whatever he wanted to be. If that is “being bought” so what? </p>

<p>Looking back, we had assumed what we thought would be best for him, in essence pidgeon-holing him. He has grown so much both intelectually and personally that today he says he couldn’t even see himself at Yale.</p>

<p>Be careful when putting things into neat little boxes because boxes are containers and containers prevent growth.</p>

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[quote=mootmom]

This is so true. My dilemma is I am really not sure if my d will rise to the occasion or not. She says she wants the challenge. She says she even needs the challenge. But so far she’s been a relatively large fish in a relatively small pond. She feels like I am holding her back just because I made her apply to some safety schools and she wishes she’d applied to more reaches, as so far she has gotten in everywhere she’s applied…but the next week will tell what options she has for the more challenging schools on her list.</p>