My husband is a physician, and I agree with wis75. I do not expect our children to do as well from a socioeconomic standpoint. I am hopeful they do well enough to feel comfortable. Also hoping we can leave them some resources in the long run, but who knows?.
As wis75 said, children with physician parent(s) have a high bar to meet.Neither of our children was interested in medicine but my son who wanted to be a professional baseball player somehow wandered into a career path that can be highly compensated according to his ability to make profits for his firm. So despite having only a Bachelor’s degree he outearns his immediately family members(2MDs,MBA and JD)combined. However, he is frugal and saving lots because he said it can “blow up” anytime. He owns a 2BR coop in Greenwich Village.
He is living it up in Manhattan because of perks offered to clients of Wall Street Banks. He eats at all the top restaurants, entertained in box seats at Madison Square Garden, Legend Suite seating at Yankee Stadium etc.
These are splurges my husband and I rarely do and my son will not do on his own dime.
My D and her husband are high earners, but they live in Manhattan and have expensive taste. They recently became new parents and they are reigning in their expenses so they can be homeowners. We won’t help with a down payment because we feel they have to live within their means.
Both my kids did not struggle starting out because both had well paying job offers before graduation that paid for relocation and a starting bonus.
Something that perplexices me, and also, to be truthful, bothers me is the fact that none of our three children have gone on to graduate education. My H has a PhD and I have a Masters and we are in education.
All three kids excelled in HS and were in advanced classes. All three attended prestigious schools with low acceptance rates.
All three have classmates going on to graduate school. Why aren’t my kids? It is not like they have great jobs and do not need the extra degree. One has a superior job but probably needs a graduate degree to change jobs.
From what I have seen, sometimes its tough for kids of very successful parents to have/keep the hunger that helped make their parents successful. Some very successful corner office people I know have kids who are as successful or more successful than their parents. Some are less successful (with a handful significantly less successful). Tough to see what make the difference in outcomes. And here “successful” means income/wealth.
Too early with respect to my kids. They are each smarter than my wife and me so the potential is there. Ultimately, I just want them to be happy.
Morris, do they not want to take on debt for the advanced degrees? Most masters aren’t funded and my generation isn’t eager to take on more debt if not needed.
Mr R’s parents both have degrees and his dad has an advanced degree. Only one son got an advanced degree and that was a post-bacc so he could go into education. None of them were very interested in school and 2 of the 3 work in jobs that don’t require degrees- but jobs that they like. They’re all doing fine even if they’re not making as much as their parents. shrug
Also, having an advanced degree which is not funded may not necessarily leverage its holder for a reasonably remunerative…or sometimes any reasonably gainful employment.
That’s the story of some older college classmate friends who did self-funded masters to increase competitiveness in PhD admissions or did so for certain occupation fields with graduate degree requirements such as social work or some non-profit organizations.
While they have a higher level of education which confers a greater degree of status/respect in some cultures/individual perspectives, they are also buried far deeper in education debt and living the nightmare of financially struggling with little/no savings.
And this isn’t limited to advanced degrees in arts/humanities/social sciences or social helping fields like social work from private universities, but also pre-professional degrees such as MBAs, MS in IT, JDs from public colleges.
When the topic of student debt came up at a friend’s party, I was astounded to find a couple of younger friends’ MBAs/MS degrees from a local public university had education loan debts** which was the equivalent of what I’d have spent for 2 years at NYU if I had been foolhardy enough to accept their admission offer with a miserly scholarship/FA package back in the '90s AFTER ADJUSTING FOR INFLATION.
- Mostly families who don't really place much value in higher education beyond their narrow notions of vocational training.
** Debt was for their pre-professional MBA/MS degrees only, not undergrad as both friends were fortunate enough to have gotten their undergrad degrees debt free.
Scoutson’s already higher…
“I see no reason why the kids should feel obligated to “do better.” There’s a point at which a family’s socioeconomic development reaches a plateau. I think we’re there.”
I didn’t interpret the OP’s point about kids doing better as “kids are obligated to do better than their parents.” I saw it as more of a commentary on the economy - that in the past, one could expect generations to do better than their parents (not because they “had to,” but because it usually came to pass) and now that’s not so certain.
I don’t think either kid will make what we did.
We’ve spoken about this times and it hurts. We don’t think the boys will ever make what my DH makes. They have lived a lifestyle neither DH nor I grew up in ( very middle class, one car, etc. ) they’ve always had what they wanted…,within reason of course. They are not spoiled brats, but brought up the same way as many of their generation. We think they won’t do as well not because of this, but because of their ADD issues.
The only good thing is that we never lived in a McMansion. We stayed in a home with a great neighborhood of 400 families with bike and walking paths, park, swimming pool with swim team…just a great neighborhood…but the homes aren’t impressive now. They were 45 years ago, but not now.
My hopes are they will be comfortable and buy maybe not a Mcmansion, but something really nice and more modern inside. If they do that, maybe they won’t feel bad about this situation of lower income…they live in a nicer house than what they grew up in! I hope this for them…I know it seems silly, but we do.
I have no idea.
I grew up very middle class- Dad was an engineer with a good job, Mom was a homemaker. But my Dad had an opportunity to stat a business (when I was in my early 20’s) and it succeeded far beyond expectations.
I graduated from college in 1978 and the economy in the midwest was awful. I never expected H and I to afford a house. I did not expect to be able to be a SAHP for several years. We have done far better than I would have guessed.
For my own kids - IDK. There are so many things that can happen.
We sort of stumbled into a good income–had kids very young, accidentally, so H went to med school while they were young. So most of their childhood was very low income as he worked his way through. Not higher till they were approaching high school, and that paid for college. H quit medicine when S was in his last (we thought, anyway!) year of college. So we have the residuals of a higher income, but we’re really middle-middle now.
Kids, like wis75 says, were not interested in medicine, and lifestyle plus values are central in their career paths–money is not important to them. So there’s a good chance neither will ever have the income we had, but will probably match what our income these days eventually.
Like morrismm says, neither kid has been interested in grad school, which does surprise me in some ways. Both are smarter than either of us, graduated from really good schools, and love learning. H and I, and three of the grandparents, have grad degrees. I do think money is part of it; both are extremely debt-averse.
I have no idea but I think they will have a better work-life balance.
I expect both sons to meet or exceed. Older son is already doing very well, and younger son will do very well once he’s done with his education/residency.
D lives in a world where her social status does not tie into her economic status. Dinner at the embassy? Yes. Ability to afford a car? No. Waltzing at a ball in Vienna? Yes. In a gown that cost more than $200? No. She has a good life and I believe that this will continue. I envy her that life. But it does concern me that there is a good chance that she will never own a home.
I don’t care either…as long as my kids are able to pay their bills, and do the things they want to do…and are happy.
When the girls go to college we’re selling this house and downsizing. The next house won’t have a basement. We’re thinking optimistically. 
Can’t have your kid living in your basement if there is no basement, right?
I think the girls have the potential to be remarkably successful-but how that translates to how much lettuce, who knows? I don’t worry about it too much. since I don’t have a lot of control over it.
Will vote for basements rather than the room on the other side of the closet. Regardless, none want to be home for long.
Mine are not very income driven, well, S is, and hopefully he’ll find his place in the business world. He certainly is working hard and enjoying what he does. He as well as one D are ending up in the sorts of expensive cities where homeownership is a very distant dream, and they are not the sorts to live in suburbs and commute. Like many of their generation, they want to live in walking and biking distance to shopping and cultural amenities. Home ownership is the ticket to financial security for my generation, so I am concerned about them for the distant future.
Regardless, they are setting themselves up for the future with advanced degrees and a career track, as well as professional sig others. But it takes a certain frugality to save money and secure one’s future when those around them are spending freely. I see a lot of short term good times for my kid’s generation, regular restaurant meals, trips, that were luxuries in my 20s. Their lives are a lot of fun, as well as hard work. Their future scares me.
Both my mother and I were married to very successful men, and ended up divorced, which certainly curtailed our finances. So I grew up with limited resources, and my kid’s early years were austere as well, though we were creatively frugal, camping trips, travel and lots of culture, books, music and art.
D recently said something about a friend being from money. Thinking it over, she is from just as much money in certain ways, but has personally had access to less of it and certainly not the lifestyle.
I don’t know whether our daughters socio economic status will approach or exceed ours. It isn’t clear what direction her career is headed in yet. My wife and I have worked very hard and continue to and I hope and expect that our daughters life will have greater balance. I also hope that she is in a profession where she is helping people and deriving fulfillment from that.
Her happiness is what is most important to us, she is very sensible and also is very grateful for what ever she has. I believe that will translate into a good life for her. We have planned in such a way financially where we anticipate being able to assist her reasonably significantly into her adult life, which should take quite a bit of the financial pressure off she and her family.
I’ll admit it. Of course I want my children to be happy. And follow their passion. But I don’t want them to struggle too much. We scrimped and saved and struggled when we were their age, and I expect them to do the same. But ultimately I hope the best for them and our future grandkids, and the same or better than we were able to offer them (our kids).
My D will probably do better financially. We live very comfortably so even if she does the same she will have a good standard of living, especially if she develops my frugality. I don’t see her being worse off as she’s not the type to choose a low paying career.