In the past it was assumed that the next generation would “do better” than the former one.
How do you think your kids will fare socio-economically in life compared to you?
People may answer the question differently based on whether they are answering in terms of standard of living in an absolute sense, or in a relative sense compared to others in their generation.
I meant in the absolute sense, i.e. compared to the parents of the child, not compared to the notional generation.
I’m already doing better than my parents in terms of pure income.
About the same, and that’s fine with me.
We did well in life, socioeconomically speaking. We’ve owned our own home since before our first child was born. We always had enough money for necessities, and we’ve even been able to splurge a little from time to time. We were able to send our kids to the colleges they wanted to go to with no undergraduate debt, and we’re in good shape for retirement.
If our kids’ lives turn out the same as ours, socioeconomically, they’re fortunate.
I see no reason why the kids should feel obligated to “do better.” There’s a point at which a family’s socioeconomic development reaches a plateau. I think we’re there.
My grandparents were wealthier than my parents.
I hope our kids will have the same socio-economic comfort that we do, but time will tell. Looks like S will be very financially comfortable, but he’s only been out of school for 6 years, and who knows what the future has in store. For D, I’d be happy if we can get her chronic healthcare issues resolved and then we can be concerned about other issues. It’s hard to focus on too far a horizon when health is a BIG issue and seems silly to do so, IMHO.
My folks were and are comfortable. My grandparents were both quite comfortable enough and owned real estate–in fact one of my grandmothers was extremely successful and had huge financial and real estate assets that I’m sure I will never match.
I’m concerned about the standard of living my kids will achieve. I’ve finally come to accept that neither child is going to follow our professional footsteps. There surely must have been a random mutation at conception or a swapped-in-the-cradle hospital event because one child wants to be a lawyer (horrible employment prospects), sigh…
D is following a career path that will likely be far less lucrative financially, but so much more rewarding. I’m OK with that. I couldn’t have done what she’s doing - finances were too critical to allow such freedom to choose. But she has a family that can support her as she explores her passion. Maybe it works out, maybe it doesn’t. Regardless, I am envious of the opportunities available to her that weren’t there for me - and how she is absolutely making the most of them. S is looking towards a more traditional path that will likely put him on par or above his parents eventually.
I’ve adjusted my expectations so that “adult child not moving into parents’ basement” is the success case.
I feel like my 3 kids are like Goldilocks and the Three Bears. One is already over our socioeconomic status, one isn’t there yet but will probably be about the same and one is below and will probably remain there.
So does that make the one staying the same “just right?” My life isn’t bad. Can’t complain ( although I do).
Grandfather had a 6th grade education and farmed. Dad finished his degree at 55 after a career in the military as an enlisted man. Of his 4 children, 2 finished college right after HS and later got MS degrees. One did a bachelor’s degree at 40 and the other stopped 3/4 of the way through the BA.
I expect that all 4 of my kids will at least complete a BA/BS. All but one of the older nieces/nephews have at least a BA. My siblings and I have all done better than my parents in terms of education and income to this point in our lives. Not as much room to go up at this point. I would expect that if the national/international geopolitical economy stays relatively sane, that our kids will do better as they are likely to make much more than I did at their ages. I expect they will start out making the inflation adjusted equivalent of about 3-5X what I made in my first full-time job. Diminishing returns will make it less likely they will see as big a percentage increase over their lifetimes as I have seen.
As long as they can provide for themselves and find happiness, I don’t really care that much about how much they make or if anyone else thinks they did ‘better’ than me. The struggles I endured as a youth and as a young adult have helped me to appreciate what I have earned. I often find myself wishing my kids had endured my childhood or that they will endure a few lean years as young adults. The more to appreciate life.
Expect them to have the same quality of life, but where they live, everything is so much more expensive, it takes a different financial basis to be able to buy a home, pay for private school and fund college.
This is more than the economic piece of socio/economic standard of living: I read an article a while back that argued you should compare what one can do with money instead of annual income adjusted for inflation. Air travel has moved from only available to the most wealthy to an option for the masses. Technology has made many things easier and more affordable. While formal education is more expensive than ever, an overwhelming amount of Americans have Internet access that allows them to watch a Harvard lecture or received golf intstruction from a world class pro.
We’ve lived rather frugally other than enjoying regional travel. We do pack lunches to save money on those trips and I hope I’ve taught my kids to be content at whatever income level their profession provides. If you love your job and it pays well then great. If you hate your job and it pays well, not so much. And then there is question of job hours and leisure time. My career varies from positions with 60-70 hour work weeks to easier positions with 40 hour weeks at times. I couldn’t see the 65-70 hour + weeks for 30-40 years even if I love the daily work. I can handle those hours for a couple years at a time. Hopefully my kids can find the balance.
I should add on to what I said a few posts up.
I think it’s really hard to compare my situation with my parents’. When my dad was my age (I just turned 25), he had a young child and was in the midst of a divorce. My mom had just married a man who turned out to be an abusive alcoholic. Both of them essentially had to “start over” economically in their late 20s/early 30s.
Neither of them went to college. My dad was a tradesmen and my mom worked at a bank. My dad made a good living until a drunk driver left him disabled (and unable to work anything other than very menial jobs) in his early 40s. Shortly after, my mom developed an autoimmune disease that also eventually left her too disabled to work. Both of my parents were disabled before the age of 50.
On the other hand, I developed my autoimmune diseases at a much younger age. I have the double whammy of both Lupus and RA which will likely leave me with a lower earning capacity depending on how well I get these under control. My parents didn’t have to deal with their health issues until their 40s. But, I live in an era when it is illegal to drop me from coverage from being sick or deny me coverage for “pre-existing conditions”… my parents didn’t have that protection so we were often left without coverage.
So we had completely different life trajectories and it’s hard to compare. I make more than my parents have for the last 10+ years but I am making less than my dad did when he was my age (when he owned his own plumbing company) and probably about on par with my mom. But I don’t have any kids and am in a very good marriage. Then again, I have student debt that they (obviously) didn’t have to deal with.
I think my situation (minus the health conditions) are pretty typical for people with a working-class background. Most of us don’t have parental help that we can rely on (financially), don’t have access to the jobs our parents had (factories, etc), and are burdened with debt from degrees which didn’t help us much in getting jobs. I don’t think most people I grew up with in my working class neighborhood will do better economically than their parents.
Hard for children of physicians who earned a lot of money over the years to have the same income. I notice many physician’s kids, even those with stellar HS stats, do not achieve as much academically as their parent(s). I’m seeing my own son, who never had any interest in becoming a physician like his parents, prefer to work than feel the need to be in a PhD program when he overreached for math ones. Also hard for those kids with PhD parents to attain more than parents did. I came from 8th grade educated grandfather on one side to BS father to my MD. Also incomes that were hugely increased generation to generation (even accounting for inflation).
The drive to do better than one’s parents is gone with high achieving parents. For son he grew up with needs not wants dictating expenses and he leads a frugal lifestyle. He has also found an intellectually satisfying job. Today there seems to be a surplus of PhDs so just “piling it higher and deeper” may not always make sense. Plus- I can’t imagine him getting a teaching job at so many colleges where the students are average or not into math. Unlike me he did not need to prove he could do it et al. A more gifted than I am college friend only has a masters (in computer science)- she did her thing without needing to be at the top.
Socioeconomic standing- given the lifestyle we lived (below our means) it is easy for son. He is an intellectual elitist like we are and will continue learning what he chooses. Perhaps it would be different for successful businessmen whose children are used to a lavish spending lifestyle but won’t start at their parents income level.
Our S has so far, found a nice work-life balance. It will be interesting to see how it may adjust if he starts a relationship with someone who is special to him. Fortunately, his full-time job seems to be fairly low stress and have good benefits. It is good for folks to be able to find the work-life balance that works for them and be willing to adjust it as circumstances change. When you have some flexibility at your job and a skillset that allows you to transfer positions, you have more options. Yes, it is a good skill for folks to be able to live comfortably below their means, so that they can save for other things they value, like future, kids, retirement, etc.
My daughter will probably do better financially than I have. My job doesn’t pay well considering how much education it requires. Also, there’s a good chance she’ll get married at some point and I never have.
@wis75 wrote
Reminds me of this article:
“Why Affluent Parents Put So Much Pressure on Their Kids”
http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2015/11/pressure-affluent-parents/417045/
I never thought I would have a child on disability and food stamps. 