Your Reactions

<p>What about the talking about me behind my back when I did attend practice religiously?</p>

<p>While the OP may have been in the wrong and may be overly sensitive, I take great exception about the teacher discussing this in his classroom to his students.</p>

<p>Something similar to this happened to one of my sons. Different situation, this particular class was not one my son liked or excelled at and the teacher decided to make an example of him to the other students in her classes. She talked about him, by name, as a looser. I was furious and called the principal. She was required to apologize to us and to my son. She did not have to like him or even be nice to him, but talking very derogatorily about him to her other classes was not acceptable.</p>

<p>It’s secondhand info, but what did he say?</p>

<p>People were coming up to me harassing me about my ambitions on the team. “Oh, so you want to be captain? Well, so and so is already captain, so go find yourself another team” (G-rated version). Judging from their comments, he portrayed me as power-hungry and ready to displace whomever was at the top. That terminated any friendships between me and the team captain and other leaders. At practice, I started feeling extremely unwelcome. I had previously expressed to him a desire to be at the top of the heap.</p>

<p>I’ll play this from both sides - </p>

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Have you ever talked about a teacher behind their back?</p>

<p>(calling you a brat) - Have you ever used a label like this when you were angry/emotional?</p>

<p>You already admit you think you didn’t behave perfectly on this. It sounds as if the teacher didn’t behave perfectly either. When you’re not squeaky clean in the exchange it’s not the time to get too indignant and try to hold the other party to a higher standard than you yourself are exhibiting (even though I expect a teacher to be at a higher standard and I’m not excusing the behavior). </p>

<p>Maybe you should call this little exchange a wash.</p>

<p>Some of the best advice I received about holding grudges: “Why would you want to let him live rent-free in your head?” It’s not hurting HIM - it’s hurting you.</p>

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<p>Way to assume. It’s only been what, a day, and if I know anything about myself, I’ll mull over this for another week or so. Past that I’ll forget it.</p>

<p>Just offering advice to help you get over this faster. :)</p>

<p>OP: You ASKED for our reactions and you are getting honest ones.</p>

<p>the picture I get is one of a kid on some kind of sports team who chose not to attend practice one day because, as you admitted, it was boring. All the while the coach of this team knows that this same kid says he aspires to be the team captain. I can only imagine that the other team members must have wondered why you were not at practice…and if I am the coach, I am going to be honest with them and let them know that, even though you wanted to be a leader, this is no way to exhibit leadership qualities. </p>

<p>Again, the term “brat” is not the worst thing anyone was ever called. But by my definition, it is actually pretty close to the mark in this case. YOU shirked your responsibilities and now you are trying to make this out to be the fault of the teacher.</p>

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<p>When I was in high school, no teacher could have caused me to dislike someone else by having that kind of a conversation. Perhaps you have alienated these kids without any help from the coach. Just something worth considering.</p>

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<p>Well, it became boring and also oppressive after the teacher told everyone else about my ambitions. Up to then I was good friends with everyone on the team and having friends made practice more bearable. Up to then I attended practice regularly. </p>

<p>After my teacher started talking about me behind my back, peoples’ attitudes changed. I don’t know exactly what he said, but people found out about my ambitions, and started viewing me as a threat. That’s when I started feeling that practice wasn’t worth attending, and that working for someone who wouldn’t respect me to the point of not talking about me behind my back wouldn’t be worth it.</p>

<p>Anyway, it’s over, and I’ve washed my hands of him. As most reasonable people have stated, neither of us was completely right. I agree with that position. I think I’ll start the process of forgetting this entire incident now.</p>

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That’s good - you’ll feel better. After a few more days you’ll feel even better and other things will occupy your brain.</p>

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I don’t really understand this. When one goes to practice they’re not ‘working for’ someone else, like the coach, they’re working for themselves really. The reason to go to practice is to help yourself get better at the sport. I’d agree that it’s not worth going to if you did nothing there, i.e. just sat on a bench the whole time or something, but if you’re actually practicing then it’s worth attending.</p>

<p>Sports are optional. If you’re not enjoying the sport, including the practice, then why are you doing it? Maybe you could do something else you’d enjoy more instead.</p>

<p>A teacher is like a manager at work, and we do hold them at a higher standard. Students (staff) may talk about their teacher, but it is unprofessional for a teacher to discuss a student to other students. It is not something I would do as a manager, to discuss one of my staff to his/her peers, or even to my colleagues.</p>

<p>If OP was my kid, I would have lectured him, but if I knew his teacher was calling him names or talking to other people about him, I would have a face to face discussion with the teacher, and maybe with his boss in the room.</p>