<p>How would you react if a teacher talks about your child negatively with his classes when your child is not present? </p>
<p>How would you react if a teacher talks about your child negatively with a school janitor? </p>
<p>How would you react if a teacher calls your child a “brat” to his face? </p>
<p>I have been a victim of the above three actions. And I think that these actions are categorically offensive, regardless of the circumstances. A teacher should never call a student names.</p>
<p>Is it the same teacher? If it’s the same teacher, I would wonder about all of these people telling my child this. (The janitor even approached you and told you of this conversation?) I’d need further information before deciding what I might do.</p>
<p>If it is not the same teacher, I would find out what my child was doing that was causing such a poor reaction from others. Then I would take the opportunity to work on behavior with my kid.</p>
<p>Yeah, I’d need some verification that this is happening before I did anything.</p>
<p>It’s the same teacher. I know that the teacher was talking to his classes about me because students were harassing me in the hallways about what I thought was a private conversation between him and me. The things we were talking about are also things I would not be inclined to share with anyone else. </p>
<p>I know the teacher was talking to the janitor because I distinctly heard him before he saw me and immediately stopped talking.</p>
<h1>1 is clearly inappropriate and unprofessional. I would have a chat with the principal immediately.</h1>
<h1>2 is not a big deal. As long as the conversation is kept between the two of them it is two school emplyoyees discussing a child. How do you know about this conversation? The unprofessional action was on the part of who ever reported this conversation to you.</h1>
<h1>3 First thing I would do is ask my kid if he was being a brat. Then I would suggest that the two of have a discussion with the teacher to find out what happened and why.</h1>
<p>And are your the child or are you the parent? If you are the parent then you are not the “victim”, your child is.</p>
<ul>
<li>YOU have been the victim…? Are you the child in question?</li>
</ul>
<p>cross posted…ok you are the child in question.</p>
<p>Have you been a “brat”? (in short…that would be my response if I had heard that a teacher called my kid a brat)</p>
<p>Yes, I’m the victim, as I’ve clearly stated. I know I was being intransigent, but I think it’s very unprofessional.</p>
<p>Now, I did not ever once raise my voice at him, or hurl insults at him. I was, however, intransigent. Definitely intransigent. </p>
<p>I had practice after school, but I had a club meeting that day too, so I told him in advance. The meeting would end at 4 PM, but practice would continue to 6 PM. He asked me why I couldn’t simply go from the club to practice. I told him that I had already made my plans, and that I would be going home immediately after 4 PM, not attending practice. </p>
<p>We both stood our grounds firmly. I didn’t want to go to practice because I was lazy, and also, ever since my teacher had talked about me with the other students, I was pretty much alienated from everyone else. He had demonized me to the other students. Practice frankly is a bore when you’re forced to run by yourself, do push-ups by yourself, etc. A terrible excuse, I know. Nonetheless, not enough, in my mind, to excuse his calling me a brat. </p>
<p>He ended up calling me a “brat.”</p>
<p>The teacher may have been unprofessional, but if you were my kid, I’d tell you to suck it up. Unfortunately, life is full of people who may not like you and may not treat you the way you think you should be treated, but you still have to deal with them. If this is all regarding the same incident, you need to let it go and continue on. It sounds like you ticked him off, and your best bet would be to work hard to get back on his good side. </p>
<p>If this were a pattern with the teacher, I would then reconsider. I’m quite protective of my kids, but at this point, based on what you’ve shared, I would do nothing.</p>
<p>At my kids’ school, it’s a big deal to miss practice. You should have gone after the meeting ended. If you’re that miserable on the team, quit. You have to decide if you’re in or out.</p>
<p>Thank you for your views. After an initial outburst of emotion after his calling me a “brat” (which involved a stack of Kleenex) … I’ve come to see that neither of us have acted completely correctly. </p>
<p>I was wrong to sidestep my obligations (which include coming to practice regularly, and not backing out because I don’t want to go).</p>
<p>He was wrong in talking of me with his classes. </p>
<p>He was at least partly wrong in calling me an unpleasant name.</p>
<p>I still don’t appreciate how he uses people so expediently. When he was recruiting me, he would always come up to me, shake my hand, and act as if we were old friends. The talking behind my back completely betrayed my trust of him. The calling me a “brat” didn’t help. </p>
<p>I’m not the type of person to stay in an organization that fundamentally disrespects me.</p>
<p>It’s unprofessional of a teacher who behaves this way on all counts.</p>
<p>Is this HS/MS? If so, I’d want my kid to tell me about it and then I as the parent would contact the teacher to determine what the teacher states happened and if the teacher confirmed this, or I strongly believed it really happened, I’d probably contact the principal’s office to discuss the unprofessionalism on the part of the teacher.</p>
<p>As a parent I realize there can be a difference between the two perspectives.</p>
<p>You’re a kid so the level of expectations for civil conduct on your part is lower. Regardless, you should probably use this experience to understand you might have been able to behave in a different way that wouldn’t have led this teacher to react this way. That doesn’t excuse the teacher though but you should understand that teachers aren’t immune to emotion either and in this case it sounds as if the teacher made some mistakes in how this was handled.</p>
<p>Now you’ll need to decide how much you want to push the point. Maybe you both just got too hot under the collar and maybe next time you can both do what you can to tone it down.</p>
<p>I’ve discussed it with my parents and they categorically say that I was in the wrong. They insist that going to the principal will only make matters worse for me. After all, it’s my senior year, and my principal is the one that’s writing the National Merit Finalist rec letters, and that pitting two school employees against each other isn’t going to create a win-win situation. </p>
<p>Oh parents. So timid. </p>
<p>I can see where they are coming from, but it would at least help to side with me in private, instead of insisting that I was completely wrong in my actions. </p>
<p>It really stung when my own parents refused to side with me. I admitted to them that I wasn’t completely right either, but they refused to compromise their views. According to them, the teacher is always right. </p>
<p>That perhaps stung more than his calling me a “brat.”</p>
<p>It’s not professional for a teacher to discuss a student with classmates, but I am wondering what the scenario was when the incident occurred. Was is something like, “oh…IceQube is absent as usual, and he doesn’t show up for cross country practice either…” or was it something truly negative about you?</p>
<p>But you are the student, not the teacher. You need to be concerned about <em>your</em> actions, not his. What are you going to do, quit school? You can’t quit something every time you think someone disrespects you. </p>
<p>It’s unfortunate this happened–but turn it around the other way. What if the teacher said, “Look, this kid didn’t show up for practice because he ‘already made plans.’ I’m not going to coach a kid who doesn’t respect me or my program.” You’d think he’s completely overreacting and being a big baby.</p>
<p>Worry about yourself and changing your response next time. Be where you need to be. Show him the respect due to his position, and you will likely see him respecting you.</p>
<p>(Your parents aren’t being timid. They want you to grow up.)</p>
<p>I tended to side with teachers when D was in high school. I am far from timid. She turned out just fine.
Let it go…this too shall pass. Anger and frustration at perceived slights will get you nowhere.</p>
<p>My attendance has been perfect up to that day. I had attended three straight grueling weeks of practice perfectly up to that day, on which I legitimately had another meeting, and I really wanted to go back home early after that meeting concluded. That’s M-R, 3 - 6, and Fridays, 3-11, three weeks straight. </p>
<p>That’s not even counting the other seasons. My attendance has been pretty good in the other seasons as well.</p>
<p>I’m not a chronic absentee or a slacker by any means. I know that trying to get out practice is bad. It puts me in the wrong. But talking about me with other students, turning them against me, and turning practice into Dante’s inferno really helps. Seriously. Yeah. Way to let everyone else know that I wanted to replace the current captain of the team. Yeah. You just love a dog fight, don’t you. Thanks for turning politics on me.</p>
<p>I normally don’t like to come down on kids because so many of the cc ilk are stressed out as is. But, really? A stack of Kleenex because he called you a brat? </p>
<p>I think you might be oversensitive, which colors my thoughts about the other interactions. I just came from a mtg where the AD talked about his discipline policies and how he sat a starter last week because he missed the Labor Day practice without prior notice. We all knew who he was talking about, though he didn’t mention names. Should that kid have cried and been all upset that he was “talked about”? I don’t think so.</p>
<p>umm, sorry, but from your description it kind of sounds like you have been a bit of a “brat”.</p>
<p>if you are on a team, you have obligations to your teammates and your coaches to attend practice. As you said, you should have come as soon as you could after the other meeting. i am proud of your parents for not “siding” with you in spite of all of this. You need to learn that your actions (blowing off practice, not living up to your obligations) have consequences with regards to how others perceive you.</p>
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<p>This was someone I had held in high esteem for the last three years. He disappointed me and shattered my view of him. Call me oversensitive, or call me extremely disillusioned.</p>
<p>Gosh, I don’t know what else to say. I’m quite sure my kids’ teachers have called them worse things than brats, and, if they did, my kids probably deserved it. 
They have tight relationships with their teachers, as it sounds like you do with this guy, and I think there’s a certain amount of give-and-take along with mutual respect kids and coaches/teachers endure. Calling you a “brat” because you refused to go to practice just doesn’t rise to my personal threshold for taking great offense.</p>