Totally. Reason #65 why social media is evil. To play devil’s advocate (really I do think all my of this is gross), there are plenty of elite parents who brag about their kids attending 90k a year schools and outrageous grad trips to Europe on social media.
Perhaps the real conclusion with all of this is just that social media is gross? 
It was important for us that our kids liked their lodging while in college. They were part of the choosing of what they wanted in their rooms. Neither are high end spenders for things for things they already hd that they liked, and were in good condition for their college rooms.
Our kids colleges allowed them to bring their own microwaves and fridges. DS did that as he was driving distance away. DD and her roommate shared the cost of a fridge and microwave.
I think they both had great dorm and apartment rooms.
I think what is even worse is that social media becomes the norm and there are numerous FB and Insta pages dedicated to this genre. Even those that don’t subscribe are inundated as they will show up in your feed as soon as there seems to be any interest in other college pages. Just try to convince an 18 year old girl heading off to a SEC college that not all dorm rooms look like this.
I think many of us wanted our kids’ rooms to feel homey, but truthfully, I couldn’t even figure out a way to spend 10k on a room. There’s bedding, a fridge/microwave, bathroom stuff, storage stuff, and some decor. You only run into 10K when you hire a designer and have them custom make stuff. That’s the unnecessary part.
Those dorm rooms sell schools and SEC schools are more than happy when they are featured on social media. I live in a high-income area of the northeast. There are plenty of (hate to say it) girls in our neighborhood that see the sorority pictures and dream room and decide that’s where they are heading. It’s like moving to another universe. As most of them have high stats, they are saving a bundle compared to a 90K LAC in New England so the parents justify the designer rooms, sorority fees, new car, designer wardrobe, hair/nail upkeep and travel expenses as money “saved”.
As a side note, D1’s sorority used her room for the house tour during the rush because it looked so nice. No, she and her roommate didn’t spend that much money to decorate their room.
I have a college friend who works as a personal stylist for a high-end department store in the northeast. Summer is her busiest time of year as she curates all of the capsules for the wealthy northeast girls who are headed to try their luck with sorority life in the SEC. An average client of hers is purchasing 4-6 complete designer outfits.
Our kid left for college with just a duffle bag to live in a room with minimal furnishings bolted to the floor. We weren’t allowed in his quarters.
But now I realize we saved $10K that I seem to have misplaced…
I work in a very remote part of our state, over 2 hours from the nearest city. At about this time last year, I was poking around in the town thrift store and in comes this kid who I happen to know lives even another half hour more remote. He was passing through town on his way to start his freshmen year at a small public technical college and needed to “get these things on this list for my dorm room.” Let me tell you, the other ladies and I pounced on that list. Dorm shopping, what could be more fun?
We found all the things. I found the bedding. There were no Twin XL sheets, so I explained to him that he would have to use Queen fitted sheets, which would be too wide (he would need to tuck the extra under the mattress) but at least would be long enough. I found him 2 sets of such sheets (not matching sets, but I took care that they not clash.) Also a bunch of different pillowcases, a newish mattress pad and a pretty cute comforter.
Somebody else gathered the towels and washcloths. Somebody else found a lamp. A number of extension cords. A clothes basket. A plastic container that could serve as a shower caddy. A trash can. A storage bin. The store worker put a warm coat she had set aside for her husband onto the boy’s pile.
It all came together very fast. The boy asked how much he owed, and the store worker said “Not a thing, [Our Town] is very proud of you. Have a wonderful time at college.”
Y’all. I’m from the South. Most of our friends kids go to Ole Miss, Alabama, UF, UGA, Auburn, etc. So yes, I see these elaborate dorms and it’s big business down here. I’m very glad my own daughter attends a women’s college where an elaborate dorm would be laughable, but I don’t at all begrudge my friends who go this route. Down here, it’s not weird. It’s not even necessary a display of wealth. Many get these fancy items second or third hand. Some families build the bookcase headboards and shelves themselves. For many, planning the dorm is a lot of fun and bonding for families and roommates. If it works for them and makes them happy, cheers to them!
Wonder how much of that applies when you’re paying a designer to do it, though?
In the People article that @flyawayx2 shared, one of the parents did help build furniture, and it mentions how other family members helped DIY (or DIT…Do It Together).
“We DIY’d everything … My husband was able to build a lot of it,” she tells PEOPLE. Rob constructed key items like the girls’ bedside tables, the hutches atop their desks and the sofa table between their beds. Autry sewed some pillows herself, and she says they also saved money by tapping into dorm resale groups, another friendly resource passed from parent to parent in the Dorm Rooms of Mississippi and Beyond Facebook group.
According to the article I think this family spent $1-2k. If families want to spend their money whether $50, $2k, or $10k, I’m not going to begrudge them that. But I have to admit that if $1-2k was going to get our whole family working together towards a common goal that was going to be a send-off gift and help make my kid comfy for the next several years of their life, I’m not so sure I wouldn’t go down that same road. And if the family actually made the furniture, I don’t think it’s going to end up on the curb. It’s probably going to end up in the kid’s living quarters post-college, too.
Most of that stuff is custom made for dorm dimensions. A lot of the SEC schools don’t guarantee housing after freshman year, let alone in the same dorms.
Just because it was custom-made for one space doesn’t mean it can’t be used in a different space, whether apartment or dorm.
S23 didn’t look at any schools where designer rooms would happen, but it brings back memories of the one thing that families “built” for their students at the schools he targeted, especially Michigan Tech (perhaps because there isn’t a Target down the street). It seemed to be a big thing to make storage staircases for the lofted bed. I believe all beds were lofted and these were a big deal. Parents sold/traded/shared building instructions, sold or passed them down when their kids were done, or took orders, built them over the summer and delivered them at drop off.
Hold up - that bed and rocker desk chair look exactly like my kid’s room! And yes, the bed is lofted. My kid’s been scampering up the side - and could use this storage!
I’m assuming several colleges have the same furniture? I need to get this solution for my kid!
Um, all of it? A designer to decorate your dorm? I find the whole thing gauche.
Oh, I thought you meant how the rooms turned out looking. Or how the tailgates looked.
You mean you find choosing to spend the money in that way tacky
My son’s college town has a day where everyone brings stuff they want to get rid of and anyone who wants it comes and takes it. He furnished his frat rooms and apartments for years with this and things Seniors wanted to get rid of!
Another designer dorm. I don’t care how people spend their money but I found this claustrophobic with all the curtains and coverings. Luckily, her roommate is also named Ashley so all the 'A’s and such are for both in the room
I finally read the article and was surprised by my reaction. I expected to be shaking my head at the extravagance of it all. My kids didn’t even get a mattress topper. I was far more concerned making sure they had a stocked OTC med stash and basic tools and a power strip and such. Any decorations were 100% on them. I didn’t want to influence it at all. Of course, I didn’t pay for it either.
But after reading the article I was more impressed with the women creating a lucrative business out of this. If they can find clients, and it sounds like they can… more power to them! Good for them!
And also the $10,000 was per room. It was $5k per student and included all of the moving it set-up. So maybe not quite as bad… (though still mind boggling to this Walmart shopping fashion don’t)
