At least for graduate students with a stipend, apparently the law has relatively recently been clarified that receiving the stipend does count as “income” for the purpose of funding an IRA. Thus you could give the student the money and while they can’t put all $10,000 in an IRA, for a student receiving a stipend they can put a good chunk of cash into an IRA. Of course for a student with a part time job they could similarly fund an IRA with the proceeds of their part time job.
And yes, down the road this will give them something to show for it. I think that the bet that an IRA funded now will be worth more in 40 years is pretty close to being a bet that modern civilization will not completely collapse in the next 40 years.
Agree that the dating and marrying is something we want to pay attention to, even if that isn’t the primary goal of college. Just yesterday this essay was published which highlights the issue:
I am childless, but not by choice, writes @DrEugeniaCheng, and women like me are ignored in the debate over overworked mothers and liberated career women. I Am Childless, but Not by Choice<!-- --> - WSJ
Parents with money often spend a lot on their kids. Is $10,000 dorm room that different from “Yacht week” at Harvard business school? What about a week in Aspen? Trip to Paris? Im sure an athropologist would have a field day with the displays of wealth at every college and how they quietly and not so quietly signal acceptance of group norms.
My family will spend $10000 on an experience over a material item any day of the week, but I get that different people have different priorities. Conspicuous consumption is a thing. And it’s not just a matter of income - some people only buy, for example, designer purses with the very visible logo on it, and others will buy the quiet understated “iykyk” ones from the same store. I guess culture really is a factor.
To clarify: I see a trip to Paris as a cultural experience, not as a display of wealth. To me they are very different.
It’s absolutely not different. CC is just full of people (myself included) who find those kind of things ok but dorm designers ostentatious.
No one at a pricey LAC in New England would do the dorm thing but there are lots of kids with 2k Canada Goose jackets when LL Bean would work just fine.
I worked about 10 years ago at a very expensive private girls high school in NJ. It was very clear that those parents (especially the mothers), were paying high tuition money to ensure that their daughters socialized in HS and then in college with other wealthy kids. Many of the moms were alum, came from wealthy families, married into equally wealthy families, and wanted their daughters to do the same.
This is so often described as a southern thing, and I know it happens here, but I don’t know when it became common. At Clemson in the 90s, I never heard about anything remotely like expensively done dorms. People got a couch sometimes, and roommates sometimes planned so that their bedspreads didn’t clash, but that was about it. I lived on campus for 4 years in 3 or 4 person efficiency apartments using a futon inherited from an aunt that was on at least it’s 3rd college. Our room was considered nice because we had seating for extra people. We were super excited when one of the girls parents got rid of some TV trays before our senior year so that we had somewhere to put our food when we ate.
I just dropped a kid off at Clemson and the parent facebook group showed rooms like the ones described above, with peel-and-stick wallpaper and a bunch of nice furniture and rugs. We bought a camp chair for extra seating, some wire snap-together shelving like what I had for the closet, some bins for different things, a wal-mart storage ottoman, and a cheap cart to hold snacks. Our big decorative extravagance was some inexpensive curtains and tension rods - one for the window and one for the closet since there are no doors. I wouldn’t be surprised if kid is still using them in his first house. Kid hasn’t said anything about other rooms being particularly nicer or worse, so I’m guessing they are similar. But, kid is in honors housing and that may select for a different group.
I think that the over the top rooms are part of a bigger scene of parents wanting to provide luxury for their kids, and I don’t really understand it. A camp chair and a few $10 baskets to hook on to the loft bed to hold stuff and make life more comfortable? That seems reasonable. Furniture that will be used for one year is a bit more perplexing. But, some parents are also complaining about their kid having to walk 10 minutes to get to food since all dining facilities aren’t open on weekends, or asking about shuttles if its raining. When their kid has a question, kid asks their parent who asks the facebook group instead of the kid doing a quick search of the university website. One parent asked how their kid was supposed to find their classroom buildings since they were new to campus. My kid has texted and called a handful of times over the past few weeks, but some parents seem to get multiple updates a day to know what their kid is up to. Families and students have very different experiences of college, in ways that i wouldn’t imagine if I wasn’t reading about it.
As far as the tailgating thing, I think it’s great for those who want to have elaborate picnics as their social time, and the game just provides an opportunity. There are also tons of people who roll in with ham sandwiches or bags of chick-fil-A, whose nod to fancy is using school-color paper plates. I don’t want people to have the idea that these schools all have 60,000+ people partying with silver serving trays. It’s like how some families dress nicely on Christmas and use the good china while others lounge in their PJs all day while snacking on cookies - just different ways of enjoying the day.
As it’s move in weekend for Boston schools, we were taking under/overs on how many UHauls would get “Storrowed” and my midwestern SIL had no clue what we were talking about.
None of this room decorating happens at S23 Western public. Mostly due to the environmental impact (one of the top “green” colleges). The school sends out a lot of information over the summer on having a “green” move-in and discourages students from bringing much more than their clothes and bedding. There is a charitable organization that sets up collection sites at the end of the year for all of the discarded items and then resells them inexpensively to incoming students. There is a website so that students can reserve items (everything from mattress toppers to microwaves) and they are ready for them when they arrive.
The big discussion on the school FB page is how to move in from OOS. The answer is always the same. A few IKEA blue bags for clothing and buy everything else from the resale organization or at Target once you get there.
It is also an expectation that most students are going to live off campus after their first year so everything you bring will only be used for 9 months as most off-campus apartments are furnished.
I did a Google search decorated dorm rooms at my sons school and this is about as decorated as it gets.
But, isn’t the experience thing documented on social media the same thing?
One can be, “showy,” with experiences just as much as one can be, “showy,” with dorm decor.
I see a lot of posting of, “this is where I have recently traveled,” as equivalent to, “this is the stuff I’ve recently purchased.” It’s all showy, IMO
Maybe some people travel with the intention of showing off how much money they have. We, and the people we know, travel for experience. And not everyone instagrams their travels, but I imagine if you spend $10k on a dorm room, you probably want people to ooh and aah over it. I don’t care whether or not anyone knows where we’ve been (and we travel a lot). Memories of our travel last a lot longer than any material thing. That’s what matters to us.
Why can’t it be both? Our family enjoys traveling (full disclosure, it’s mostly been “with a purpose” - ie. for my kid’s sport or checking out colleges), and comfort. So we will eat at nice, usually one-off indie/cheffy restaurants and eateries. And we will help our kid spruce up their dorm room (not at 10k).
It just seems like the families spending bank on dorm rooms are perhaps spending the same proportion of their yearly family income on this line item that other families in lower brackets are. So apparent splurgers will also have money set aside for generational investing separately.
I don’t care really if someone spends $100 or $10k on a dorm or somewhere in between. It’s like the same at schools with some kids having bikes to get to high school, whereas others have their own G Wagon as a 16th bday gift to get them there.
(And still many others may walk, get dropped off, or take bus to school.)
Differences in budgets, as well as needs/wants dictate how others spend and where.
If someone wants to spend $10k on a dorm fine. I think it’s a bit of a waste but who am I to say or judge? It looks nice and if they can afford it, fine. I hope they donate it for the next year’s inhabitants, but again if not, that’s their choice.
I’m really trying to embrace that it’s not for me to opine how others choose to spend their money.
As long as they have the budget to support the spending via legitimate means, then hey, go for it. Doesn’t necessarily mean I value what they do….but …it’s their life, not mine. I wouldn’t want them judging my choices.
My daughter’s large southern public does this too, run by the local Y. They place pods around campus at move out where students can drop off rugs, furniture, fans, storage cubes, vacuums, etc., and then they have a big sale during move in. Students can also reserve/buy items online. Fantastic initiative! Every college should do this!
I remember an article/discussion years back about the Canada Goose jacket issue at UMich and its perception of social status and wealth there.
The rub for some may be the perception of bragging about the spend via social media. No one would know or care about an extravagantly decorated dorm room if the moms (or the dads who care about this) didn’t post about it. It can create a feeling of insecurity in some moms who didn’t go that route, while others remain steadfast in their decision not to spend at that level for a temporary living situation. Personally, even if I didn’t give a second thought to spending it, I would give several thoughts about posting it and would probably just keep it to myself or share with select friends. I also don’t post excessively about vacations or purchases - I don’t have that personality, and I am sensitive to the fact that I have friends who struggle financially.
I think this is a great point and is obviously the problem with social media. You want to spend $10000 on decorating your kid’s dorm? Have at it! Share pics with your circle. But don’t put it on a school FB page or IG account. Why must everything be shared to the extreme? And yes, I know there is a bragging thread here and I have never once looked at it. But the college FB page isn’t the place for self adulation.
Both of my girls had a very comfortable room. They had all new beddings (with a very thick mattress topper), dresser, double hung closet, rugs. We had to rent the fridge/microwave from the school due to their requirement. We were not able to hang curtains because of their fire regulations. They had a fan, air purifier, humidifier. I would have put in an AC if the school would have let me.
I strived to make their dorm rooms as comfortable as possible because how much time they were in their rooms. I spent for practical stuff (like a down comforter) and not on fancy name brands.
I think many of us purchased the things you mentioned - I consider those the basics for a dorm room. A $10k professionally designed dorm is a whole different kettle of fish.
My kids went to a school where it was very cold. I got them singles so they had the option of studying in their rooms if they wanted to.
My kids decorated their rooms, but everything did match. For one year when they had to share a room in their sorority house, they did coordinate with their roommate on the room decor.
I do t think it’s anything wrong in trying to make a dorm room nice. Someone’s 10k maybe the same as another’s 1k. I just wouldn’t do it because someone next door is doing it. At the same time I wouldn’t judge them for it.
