Many, if not the majority of colleges nowadays enroll more females than males, and let’s hope the declasse’ comments about women going to find a spouse (getting their Mrs degree and the like) have gone the way of the dinosaurs.
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That article infuriated me. The whole thing with the dorms is that they’re a unifier-- everyone, no matter where you come from, lives in the same crappy rooms. Headboards? Asinine. This is taking suburban one-upmanship to another level and it’s simply gross.
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Ole Miss was one of three state flagships that served as safeties for my ds. We had to put down housing deposits (NB - these are NOT the same as enrollment deposits) at all three to insure he got the housing he wanted were he to choose on of them. Alabama required logging in the second they opened. I had guidance here on CC about that. I think we got a partial refund on one, but the other two were just forfeited cash when he didn’t choose any of the flagships.
He had gotten his Ole Miss acceptance in early September.
Though some have cars, fancier clothes, money for going out, participate in Greek life etc.
They may all live in the same “crappy dorms”, but often that’s only for first year, and isn’t necessarily a great unifier. In my experience like tends to gravitate to like regardless of whatever diversity goals a university may have.
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And, if someone is from this region it’s not considered over-the-top at all. It just seems normal.
As far as seeking Mrs degrees - I think that has probably diminished some primarily because people don’t marry as young as they used to. I have a high school friend who is the youngest of three girls. All three went to our state flagship and were in the same sorority. Her two older sisters (there is kind of a gap between the older two and my friend) went two years and left to get married and never graduated. My friend was there all four years and did graduate. One of our other friends said (not to her face) that she graduated accidentally because she didn’t find a husband before she finished.
I think if you substitute the word, “network,” for, “right people,” there is less offense about it, but it means the same thing to me. The motive for choosing a college depends on what you are looking for.
My friend from California is a college admissions consultant. She does NOT get the football appeal of SEC schools at all and used to be extremely frustrated with students for whom that was important. It took her a long time to temper that frustration. Again, if you aren’t from the region, it probably is a culture shock and/or perceived as a misplaced value. But, there’s a reason that the SEC slogan is, “It Just Means More.”
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Agree. Just because a young woman decides to that room decor is a priority for her, doesn’t mean she isn’t every bit as intelligent as those women who find such things frivolous. I’m sure Ole Miss is full of smart women.
The one person I know who would fit in with these girls is at TCU, is a basketball player and on the Dean’s List. Her room is fabulous too.
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If you’re spending $10,000 for somebody to design and decorate your kid’s dorm room, then you know what? I’m going to judge you.
Is that judgmental of me? 100% yes.
It’s pretentious, superficial, and screams of privilege. Bleh.
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This is just another example of parents being super-involved in their kids lives, mostly to the detriment. And we wonder why there is so much anxiety, social media bullying, and other issues with young people today.
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We were labeled as such by some when we chose to spend (at the time) $65k per year for ds’s college choice rather than taking one of the free rides being offered at two different SEC schools. 
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I just read up on Allston Christmas. What a fabulous idea, for a number of reasons.
My best friend joked that her mom had sent her to college to get her M.Rs degree after sending her to a fancy private girls school hadn’t matched her with one of the rich boys from the neighboring school. I always felt there was too much truth under the joke…
My D19 would have been horrified if I’d offered to get a designer for her dorm room, regardless of cost. She was much happier picking out her own stuff, especially a very idiosyncratic poster collection from flea markets and vintage stores, and I think she felt indulged enough when we got duvet covers and some other soft furnishings from urban outfitters which at the time had stuff that really gelled with her vibe. Supplemented with ikea and target. I guess it really is a culture thing. Even her one suitemate that arrived dripping in Gucci just had a “normal” dorm room.
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That was long ago. Until the early 1960’s the Simmons brochure/viewbook made a point of mentioning that Harvard Med was next to campus. It was republished in the 1980’s in the Boston Globe as an example of how things had changed.
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I don’t remember there being Mrs. degrees here, I’m 57 and got married at 28, so we were one of the first in our circles to get married, and I was a young mom at 29. My daughter’s sorority rush photos look just like other southern schools, she loves it, had to decide between her top two, no drama, and the clothes I see here wearing are definitely not hers!
She’s a senior at Clemson and is definitely more colorful than at home here in NJ (she’s a pretty blond so blends in so well I have to zoom in to see which one she is, at home she stood out).
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I agree that the “Mrs degree” joke is an old sexist one.
And yet isn’t it still true that one big benefit of college is that it acts as a dating service? This is for both men and women, and I think it’s a big part of why commuter colleges and on-line colleges aren’t something most parents on CC would consider.
I know it was something I thought of when I was thinking about schools for my own kid, and my kid is male and gay.
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I do think college is partly a dating service (getting experience meeting young “adult aged” prospective matches, learning about social interactions, etc.) and don’t see a problem with that being the case. Biology is a thing. (And dating in the working world is hard!) How others approach it is not my concern.
But the primary goal of a college still should be to learn. Dropping out to get married is a real missed opportunity, IMHO. One can get a degree and get married, ideally.
As far as regional culture goes, not for me to say. The photos of sports tailgating above looked fun to me (I grew up outside of the U.S.). Looked like an elaborate picnic/get-together with a sporting event attached! And hey, the US/Canada was formed with some strong traditions of having get-togethers where people pooled their resources. So if some people want to go all-out, that’s their thing.
Perhaps I was lucky enough to go to a school, and my kid as well, where the students are able to furnish their dorms as they or their families or whatever see fit. My kid has opinions of what they want, while also leaning on me for ideas/funding said ideas. It’s a combination of deliberately not overspending, taking helpful items from home, craigslist, school auctions/special student events, buying stuff on sale this weekend, etc. My kid likes Anthropologie/boho style so it’ll get there. Lots of “yes/okay/NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” along the way (sigh).
I have advised my kid to really get to know other students not just for (hopefully lifetime) friendships, but for potential dating down the line. No rush now (and my kid is not all that interested at the moment), but it’s not a bad idea to try to really get to know your peers.
Friendships and relationships with peers that can have your back is priceless. The time to start evaluating such people is now.
Will not be buying my kid a custom neon sign, tho.
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It’s also a waste of $$. I’d rather give my kid the $ to invest if I was going to send a boatload of cash their way. At least they’d have something to show for it after college as opposed to a bunch of unusable room “decor”.
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I sometimes think back fondly on my dorm room milk-crate bookcases (and, later, when I had more space: wood-plank-and-cinderblock bookcases). Figuring things out and solving problems on a low budget are among the best life lessons of the college years.
Last year, when my D moved into her first-year dorm, we did get her a few things to make the space more livable, all from Target or Amazon: a couple of plastic stacking drawer units for storage (one of which serves as a nightstand), a small three-shelf bookcase (because none was provided by the school), a torch lamp and fan - that kind of thing. For her birthday, her grandparents got her a small collapsible loveseat (picture a wide upholstered seat, but with a folding-chair frame) – also from Target. We got her new bedding and towels – essentials (we didn’t have anything from home we could send because we need that stuff here). All pretty inexpensive.
My kids don’t get to have dorm rooms more nicely decorated than our house, even if I could afford that! And no one would ever mistake our house for anything that was professionally designed. 
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I know how long ago it was. Seems unnecessary to bring it up now. JMO
And sure there is nothing wrong with (and everything right with) having a social life in college. Great environment of same aged peers with many similar schedules and interests. That is very different from going with the expressed intent of finding a spouse.
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Oh, 100%. I’m from Boston and I live in the Bay Area now. All of this seems tacky as hell to me as a coastal elite. /s
My oldest dated her college boyfriend for 3 years after graduation before they broke up, #2 one week after college graduation until they broke up, #3 is on 5 years with her college boyfriend, they still have another year of grad school. #4 just has a bunch of super nice guys that she’s friend-zoned (much to their moms’ disappointment, they’re always inviting her over and on vacations), #5 commutes and I have no idea his love life. I would not be happy if my kids got married right out of college!
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The reason for that being true have changed.
Women now make up roughly 60% of the college grads. There are over 2 million more women in college in the US than men. They graduate at a higher rate within 6 years and are more likely to graduate in 4.
For historical context, in 1970, only 43% of bachelor’s degrees were awarded to women. By 2021, men received just 42% of bachelor’s degrees, the lowest male share on record until then. That is a massive swing.
If you’re a college educated male with career aspirations and prospects, you’re harder for women to find than ever. This is a problem. As a country we need to find ways to get more young men off of their computer games and back into society.
It’s not really an issue for the CC crowd now… but it’s going to impact a lot of your kids in 10 years.
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