Why parents cannot help a HS student? Just sit down with the kid and answer all his questions. Why send him to a teacher when a kid obviously not feeling comfortable to do so?
Do you know all the material a Hs junior in AP classes is studying? Props to you if you do, but most of us don’t.
Learning to ask an instructor for help is a core competence (IMHO) to succeed in college. How many threads do we read here of kids who hand in an assignment late and are shocked it’s marked down a grade- kid had a valid excuse (in the infirmary with flu) but never bothered to phone the professor to ask for an extension. How many threads do we read of kids who are shocked to learn that they need recommendations from professors for grad school? Or a kid on academic probation because they didn’t realize that if you’re going in to the final with a C average you need to march into office hours to ask for review sessions, tutoring, time with a TA?
It’s great for parents who can act as tutors for their HS kids. But tutoring a kid is no replacement for a kid developing the essential skill of communicating with professors and deans and department chairs. If a kid is having trouble with this in HS, working this through is more important than acting as a tutor.
@MiamiDAP Again, just bc something works for you and your two kids only means it works for you, and presumably your 2 kids. We are all very different. Am I to relearn Algebra 2, Calc, Physics? Where does it end! I can’t answer Qs on that stuff. And some kids cannot even verbalize their questions bc they can’t even see where they have gone wrong.
Trust me, I’ve got a kid that is like what you make your kids out to be. It’s great, but I also have one like OP. Whole different ballgame. Working harder, no? I’m going to need him to work smarter, with a tutor I suppose.
If all kids were the same, they’d be robots, not kids. Sometimes you don’t know unless you’ve been there. When I haven’t been there, I try to just show empathy instead of insisting that what works for me will work for all.
I’ve read over each post in this thread to see if I may have missed something important before offering my opinion . It appears that it has not been identified why the OPs son is doing poorly in AP Gov class other than he “hates the class” Why? Does he not understand the material? Is it too much work? Is he being held to a high standard to do well in the class? Does he not like the subject material? I think it needs to be established why he “hates” the class. Secondly, many people who have posted are trying to give the OP’s son the benefit of the doubt and believe that he is too shy or uncomfortable to approach the teacher. It needs to be identified if this is truly the case. Maybe the student is hesitant to approach the teacher because he knows that he is doing poorly because he hasn’t been putting forth the effort to do well or hasn’t been completing the assignments. That may be why the teacher is not willing to give additional assistance to the student or why the teacher is hesitant to work with the parent. The OP has stated earlier that this is not the first teacher to have that opinion regarding her son’s effort . Until the reason why the student is performing poorly is identified, any solutions are purely speculative and will most likely not be effective in solving the problem.
I also agree with @blossom that learning to ask for assistance from an instructor is an important skill that needs to be developed prior to going off to college in order to have a successful college experience. OP’s son is already a junior. He needs to start now so he feels comfortable once he moves to college .
Omg, don’t some realize you can’t just “tell” a kid to study harder? Or assume that, if your kid heeded your rules and did exactly what you said she had to, it makes your way it a magic formula for all kids? (Know many kids?)
I was going to say something similar to blossom’s “core competence” comment. When we suggest a kid do something that makes sense to us, we sometimes don’t realize they may not know how or when, and what to say. (Or, how to be organized or how to prep for a test or all the rest of it.)
There were many areas where I had to discuss with my kids, clue them in to what they might say and how the interaction might proceed. Not put words in their mouths as much as help with the approach. And then how they might respond, depending on what the other person said. This covered a lot of core competencies or “life lessons.” Kids don’t always know how to proceed, they can hit a wall. Did it with several topics before they left for college, too. In a way, it’s building their repertory.
I think most high schoolers agree, it’s difficult to talk to a teacher. One might feel like an inconvenience, or have anxiety about speaking with them. Plenty of kids have a hard time with this!!
Also, perhaps your son’s teacher sees the issue as clear-cut: if he’s not doing well, he needs to do his homework and study in his free time. There’s honestly not that much more advice that can really be given. I’m a HS peer tutor for kids like your son and a lot of the time, the advice I give (and the teachers give) is stuff that is already obvious. Students should know what to do: read teacher’s comments on papers and adjust writing in the future, read all textbook readings (fully!) write notes, or do any other method of learning that helps them. I’d say the problem here can be fixed without the teacher’s help - yes, it would be better to get him/her involved - but the teacher is likely very busy and honestly…They can’t give your son any NEW advice.
As a tutor, I sort of wish there was some sort of magical treatment to apply to kids who aren’t motivated. You can sit around all day telling them what to do (study! visit a teacher! read! take online quizzes!) but if they aren’t motivated they won’t heed your advice. Sometimes, parents force their kids to attend tutoring and that’s the worst. If the child is not interested in improving, then I won’t want to work with them. Your son’s teacher is likely the same way.
All this being said: maybe your son doesn’t have a problem with motivation, maybe he’s just finding this class harder than usual or not his forte and has anxiety about talking to the teacher. In that case, his grades will probably start to rise regardless. Who knows.
That was worded pretty terribly, but I just felt like I had to say something on the topic! I wouldn’t want anyone to corner a kid with cries of “Drugs! Alcohol! Girls!” or anything when the true problem is the laziness and cumbersomeness of being a 16-year-old. Don’t threaten your kids. Let them know the reality and gravity of the situation and then let them fix it themselves, because I’m sure your son is capable of doing so.
“Just say no to drugs” campaign really worked well, didn’t it? Just do the work, study hard- message given but rebelled against by many normal teens. Didn’t work that way for many parents of strong willed teens like mine. Compliance is not always a strong trait in smart kids, and they are so full of themselves parents are stupid (despite reality) and other conflicts. I can’t imagine teens doing something just because parents request/demand it. Even smart kids don’t seem to use the same logic adults do. Good luck OP with finding the magic key for your son.