<p>One headline we’ll never see.</p>
<p>I have another one “Hunter stable after being shot by Dick Cheney”… wait…</p>
<p>“SWAT team kills innocent 8th grader” </p>
<p>oh darn. . we’ve used that in real life too :(</p>
<p>“President Bush nearly dies whilst choking on a pretzel”</p>
<p>…Ditto…</p>
<p>“China Destroyed in World Joint Nuclear Attack”
“Total World Peace Achieved for One Day”
“Race No Longer Factor-Rate of Interracial Marriage 100%”
“Japan Pays Compensation for Rape of Nanjing”
“World Found to Have 100% Literacy Rate”
“Average Salary of African Man Increases 10000% In Last Five Years”
“Tamil Eelam Declares a Permanent Ceasefire”
“All Known STD’s Have Been Cured Forever”</p>
<p>“Communism established throughout the world: now we may rest in peace”</p>
<p>“Psychics predict the world did NOT end yesterday!”</p>