<p>Consolation, according to the OP, there was waaay more going on than “harmless” pot smoking.</p>
<p>This thread highlights perfectly what’s wrong with such “homestay cultural experiences”: the exchange visitor does not get to experience the country and its culture; instead, s/he gets to experience the everyday life of a single family which may not be representative of the big picture.</p>
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No, but it is something that I have strongly counseled my kids to avoid when abroad, and the organizations such as AFS/YFU really frown on that. They make it clear that use of illegal drugs can result in immediate dismissal from the program. They are not so negative about drinking – I think in most parts of Europe the drinking age is 16, if it is enforced at all – and the exchange organizations don’t really care what the student are doing as long as they are in compliance with local laws. </p>
<p>I don’t know what the OP’s exchange group told him in that respect – but I’m glad my kids didn’t have to deal what that sort of situation. That’s different than a mere clash of cultures.</p>
<p>I def disagree with the harmless pot smoking. And way more went wrong then harmless pot smoking as BunsenBurner said…</p>
<p>BTW, they did tell me I was allowed to accept alcohol because they drink whine at every meal. However, they never did say anything about smoking. When I finally read the paper they told me (of don’ts), it said Americans weren’t allowed to smoke cigarettes. But they never even made that clear.</p>
<p>I didn’t allow my girls to participate in such program when they were in high school. They didn’t sleep over anyone’s house if I didn’t know the family. I personally think it is crazy to trust someone to vet out a family for my kids to stay with, too many crazies out there. I would have trusted them to travel by themselves and staying at a hotel.</p>
<p>Of course, my kids didn’t go on a trip like that and then complained about it later.</p>
<p>Most kids didn’t experience what I had to go through…</p>
<p>Was there anything enjoyable about the trip? Beautiful gardens and countryside? Its hard to believe the food was terrible. French food is usually wonderful! And nutella is wonderful stuff!! Yummmm.</p>
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<p>A) I made it very clear earlier in the thread that I thought the behavior of the kids and the rest of the family was obnoxious and sometimes abusive, B) your use of quotation marks appears to quote me. I did not use the word “harmless.” I said I didn’t think it was “heinous.” In actual fact, I think that any student on an exchange program of this sort should avoid pot smoking and other illegal behaviors, even if they engage in them at home. </p>
<p>The OP was clearly placed with a family that was, to say the least, a bad fit, but he was obviously wholly unprepared to deal with anything our of his personal experience and preconceived notions.</p>
<p>I should add that I think very few 17 yr olds would be able to cope with the situation he found himself in. Which is why host families should be actively screened, and kids should be well prepared.</p>
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<p>My guess is that the food was great - just not to the taste or preference of an American teenager. Most teenagers that I know, including me when I was teen, really don’t like stuff much beyond burgers, pizza, spaghetti, and mac & cheese. I’m sure the OP will grow to like more exotic fare as he matures, just as I did.</p>
<p>You are probably correct coureur and consolation. We do talk about fit a lot around here! It may also be about what someone is exposed to. My older s was always a more adventurous eater. He has been eating sushi since he was a toddler and his first preference was for octopus. Younger s was more of a meat and potatoes eater but began to branch out and try lot of different things in Hs. I remember taking him to an authentic French restaurant for lunch and he loved it. That said he was able to choose from a menu. I Remember visiting France in college and loved the food. Fresh baguettes and apricot jam for breakfast, croque monsieur sandwiches, chicken with morelles. My mouth is watering just thinking about it. Hopefully young adults will expand their palates.</p>
<p>Yeah, the fact that the OP describes French food at “terrible” is revealing. As a cook, I can imagine how unpleasant it was to sit at meals with this “picky eater” pushing the food around and making his distaste quite clear. Even my fairly disastrous Korean student liked the food I served him! (And we, in turn, explored Korean food.) I admit that I have no sympathy at all with kids who eat nothing but pizza, burgers, and mac and cheese and think that is “normal.”</p>
<p>Statements such as the mother “didn’t even speak English”–OP, how many foreign languages does YOUR mother speak fluently?-- and complaints about lack of internet access reveal a narrow perspective that I’m sure came across loud and clear to all concerned. After all, he “didn’t even speak French”! We hear that there was “nothing to do,” but when activities were organized–the son took him on an excursion to Paris and Versailles on the train–he complains about that, because HIS mother wouldn’t have let HIM go to NYC without an adult. :rolleyes: My perspective: when I was 16, I was living in England, and my mother let me take the train into London by myself for the day…and into NYC when we returned to CT.</p>
<p>Since this family doesn’t sound like a kind bunch in the first place, to put it mildly, these displays of timidity probably brought out the worst in them. Especially the boys. (I imagine that the mother probably thought she was doing the OP a big favor to put him up with the boys, and that they would have a great time together, especially since they spoke English. Little did she know the OP would be treated to a barrage of adolescent bravado and pack behavior…)</p>
<p>One of the issues with host-family situations is potential misunderstanding of the obligations of the hosting family. I know that after my daughter lived abroad, we considered hosting – but the host-screening program for AFS was more than I wanted to deal with. But host parents are not necessarily supposed to act as “parents” to their guests – in some cases the expectation is no more than providing lodging. Certainly they are not expected to act as personal tour guides. </p>
<p>I don’t think the screening process is consistent even within a particular organization - because all screening & arrangements are local. The organization might set the standards, but they are leaving it to their local affiliate for contact to do the actual implementation. Again, the local coordinator is likely a volunteer, and there are significant cultural differences as to how seriously people adhere to rules.</p>
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Well, the rural cuisine may not be the same as you would find in a Paris restaurant. Keep in mind that some French traditions – like coq au vin – were developed originally as ways to tenderize and disguise the flavor of the gamey old rooster they were stewing.</p>
<p>It tastes like chicken… :)</p>
<p>So do the frog legs. ;)</p>
<p>I’d note that I do not speak a word of french… but I speak fluent french restaurant. Favorite word: “escargot”. </p>
<p>I do think that any person who considers himself a “picky eater” would run into many problems traveling, particularly in a hosted situation. I spent a week in Amsterdam with a travel companion who was happy to eat the standard Dutch fare (er… except for the cheese, not so wonderful) – but was too averse to spicy food to venture near a rijsttafel, to my utter dismay. (Memo to self: no more traveling companions with dietary restrictions).</p>
<p>like coq au vin – were developed originally as ways to tenderize and disguise the flavor of the gamey old rooster they were stewing.</p>
<p>& a very good job it does, too! :)</p>
<p>Surely even picky eaters can find some foods they like. French breads, pastries, chicken provencale (traditional dish of the french countryside), etc. Surely there is something nice that can be said about some of the food. French food, whether prepared in the city or the country, is not that hard to adjust to. Perhaps there were some strong cheeses. But it is not super spicy or made entirely from tripe and sweetbreads.</p>
<p>The website for the program the OP said he took seems to be inactive, with some parts “under construction” and nothing about any upcoming 2012 programs. So perhaps there was something amiss, causing a last minute change of hosts and perhaps not the best of screening of this new family. But if the host family is/are volunteers, and opened their homes (primary residence and grandfather’s country home) to an american student for 3 weeks, surely there can be <em>something</em> nice said about them. Sounds like their kids were unkind and there is no excuse for mistreatment, but perhaps the expectations for more adventures and excursions was not reasonable either. Don’t know. Don’t have a clue what the itinerary or program description includes. But surely there was something positive (the flowers, the house, the gardens, the weather, SOMETHING) that can be said. And if one is travelling to France, and doesnt feel they have a strong grasp of conversational French, then its usually a good idea to bring a dictionary and digital translator (if they dont have a phone app for it) to communicate. This was an opportunity for a great adventure. It is unfortunate that there seems to have been perhaps incorrect expectations.</p>
<p>I actually really like the D-Day beaches and I did like Paris. Versailles is beautiful, but I’m not much of a garden/house person. The Biltmore was just as beautiful in my opinion. Versailles is just a lot bigger. </p>
<p>Actually, the first week and a half the teenagers cooked me food. Not the parents! They also bought the food with money given by their parents. For breakfast, all they ate was nutella on bread. I actually brought small packs of cereal with me and some other sweets, I knew I was going to get hungry. The food they cooked was raw. They would flip the burger once or twice and then eat it while the inside was completely pink. They cooked a lot of crepe, but I just did not like it. I love pancakes, just not crepe. I do love Belgium Waffles though. I also didn’t eat lunch until 2:30/3PM most days and didn’t have dinner until 10-11PM most days. It was earlier when I ate with the family. The portions were very small as well. The parents cooking was not much better, but at least I ate by 9PM. Okay, I usually eat dinner at 5-6PM here. The best meal I had was McDonald’s. I had Pizza Hut in a suburb of Paris and they ate with forks and knives, I almost died. I come from a family of New Yorkers. I lost six pounds in France and I never loose weight. Even though the kids were very immature, I can not cook or clean. So, I will give them that. The mother wanted me to cook something in the Southern recipe book, but the closest I’ve ever gone to cooking was probably some stoffer mac and cheese, LOL. I had duck for the first time in my life and I ate a fish which just came from the sea as well, the father cut it for me lol. I never did have any frog legs or snail though. They don’t eat peanut butter in France. They didn’t know what a bagel or cream cheese was either. There was no pizzerias where they lived haha. There was no grocery stores either, it was 20 minutes away which isn’t that bad. Publix has better baguettes then the French. I would like to ask everyone a question. How would you feel if you were eating breakfast and then you see a dudes balls, yeah I wouldn’t think you would like that either.</p>
<p>I did break a dictionary, but never used it b/c they spoke English and only the kid and his cousin did, not everyone. And I hardly ate any pastries or cheeses strangely. Junior Diplomat actually goes to my high school and my french teacher recommends them, so that’s how I found them.</p>
<p>The very rare meat is called “sanglant”. That translates, IIRC, as “bleeding”. But that is how some french meats are prepared.</p>
<p>Nutella on bread in the morning is very common (traditional) and what I would consider the European version of peanut butter. Personally, I eat it directly out of the jar with a spoon when I let myself have some (its a gazillion calories).</p>
<p>You said earlier you were uncomfortable on the train because no one spoke English. Thats where the dictionary and something digital “pour traduire” would have come in handy.</p>
<p>IMO, the point of these trips is to experience THEIR culture and lifestyle, to try to communicate in their language and assimilate, for the few weeks you are there, into their customs and culture. If you want to eat wheaties for breakfast and go to McDonalds and Pizza Hut, there wasnt much need to go across the pond.</p>
<p>And sorry to painfully disagree, but there is NOTHING like a fresh french baguette. Supermarket breads pale, PALE in comparison. Not even in the same league.</p>
<p>It wasn’t rare meat, it was cheap meat the kids got at the local grocery store. Nutella is okay, but I prefer peanut butter. They even had Nutella Ice cream! </p>
<p>I wasn’t just uncomfortable with people not speaking English. I had no idea what to do on the train b/c the father never had time to instruct me. We were racing to get to the train.</p>
<p>I didn’t go to France for McDonalds. I just thought it was one of my better meals. It costs $1 for a McChicken here, it costs around 7 euros in France. McDonalds isn’t cheap like it is here. There is no dollar menu, lol. And I don’t like Pizza Hut in America and didn’t like it in France either.</p>
<p>Confused. You just said the food was raw and that they just flipped it a time or two and it was pink inside. No mention of the quality /cost of the meat. Pink isn’t “sanglant” .Pink is probably medium to medium rare. When its “sanglant” it could probably still moo, LOL.</p>
<p>Many dictionaries or translators have some catch phrases in them to help tourists navigate the transportation systems.</p>
<p>Nutella is practically a staple over there. No surprise that they have nutella ice cream. Sounds divine!!. They would probably consider some of our ice cream flavors a bit odd. Some Ben&Jerry’s would probably be unusual to them. But thats what makes cross- cultural experiences fun!! Heck, I’ve seen popcorn flavored ice cream here!! Weird even to an american!</p>