<p>Oh my goodness! She is still so young! She is fine…do you really think she isn’t into guys because she doesn’t want to discuss it or doesn’t have a date to her prom? She probably doesn’t want to discuss it with you because you will post it and talk about it to everyone!
For her sake, please relax about this. She will find someone interesting at some point. She is just probably concentrating on her studies, extracurricular activities and getting into college! Is that so horrible? I commend her for that!
If she is sad about not having a date or going on a date, it is most likely because the guys are a bit intimidated by her. I think that is quite a compliment to her as well. When she goes off to college, she will have a whole new world of people to interact with!</p>
<p>dntw8up asked: Maybe she isn’t attracted to males and doesn’t feel you’d react well to the news?</p>
<p>I am 100% positive that’s not the issue, for many reasons, including that she knows we’re OK with that. Especially since her Facebook profile states she’s interested in men</p>
<p>While my 21 year old daughter did have a couple of “boyfriends” aka more like “best friends” in high school, she’s commented several times that in college the boys just want to play the field or get married so she mainly goes to social events with friends. She also believes in the boy asking her for a date instead of just meeting up. She rolls her eyes when she talks about boys who say “why don’t you call me” instead of asking for her number. Maybe she’s a little old fashioned or maybe she just wants someone who puts forth a little effort but for now she’s happier doing her own thing. She talks sometimes of girl friends who have boyfriends just because they want a boyfriend rather than because they care about the boy and she finds that silly. She’s also said she’s so busy that she doesn’t want the added commitment right now of putting time into a relationship.</p>
<p>I actually read an article in a university newspaper not long ago about how college kids really don’t go on “dates” much anymore but prefer to “hang out”. That coupled with so many kids having plans to go to med school, grad school or law school, I guess contributes to some being reluctant to becoming attached to someone.</p>
<p>Regardless of where, when and how she finds a good man…the point is, she is still very young right now. She will look and get involved when she is ready.
This is a little weird to me…most parents are pushing their kids away from finding boyfriends at a young age and to just go out and enjoy their youth and what life has to offer!
All you can do is be loving and supportive to her. The more you PUSH in any aspect of her life, the more she will close up or rebel!</p>
<p>Maybe she just goes to a school full of boys like mine, who says he doesn’t have the time or money to go out on dates.</p>
<p>I never got asked out on a date in high school. Smart girls usually didn’t. At my college, a fair number of girls I know have never really had a dating life. But in that realm I’ve turned out perfectly fine. Don’t worry about it. Dating at 16 is so different from dating later that I don’t really feel like dating younger is necessary for dating later.</p>
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<p>I have never in my entire life known a girl or woman to do that.</p>
<p>^^^Actually I have unfortunately.
At least I have known girls to expand on mild rumour about very pretty and popular girls in a way that is hurtful- when I was in junior high and high school.
Its not nice- but people often try and justify others apparent good fortune by trying to knock them down-as we mature and are able to see beyond appearances, I hope we move past that</p>
<p>Many kids don’t date in HS or only “hang out in groups.” I think this is VERY HEALTHY. My D & encouraged her friends to develop good, close relationships with each other because they “have the rest of their lives” to have relationships with guys. They all had male friends which continue now one year post-HS & very close friendships “among the girls.” I’m very pleased that she has maintained these friends that we believe will be her lifelong relationships.</p>
<p>A friend got her date for the junior prom & her group of friends also tried to get her a date for the senior prom but male friends beat them to it & asked her so she had two “dates” for the senior prom. She got a friend (who had a crush on the guy) to take one of the guys while she went with the other and mostly they all “hung out” as a group at the prom. They all invited dates that got along well and went with their large group of friends so no one had to feel left out and had to force a conversation if they were “talked out.”</p>
<p>I am happy that she didn’t have dating pressure in HS–they have enough to deal with already without adding that. She has many male & female friends and has not worried about it. S didn’t date at all in HS either but had no trouble striking up a nice romance when he went on a month-long summer trip. They have plenty of time to work out the dating relationships – I’m glad they don’t obsess over it now.</p>
<p>Regarding “late bloomers” on the dating scene. I am very close to a woman who just got married at age 40 to the only man she has had any romantic relationship with. He was about the same age and hadn’t had any romantic relationships previously either. They’re very happy together and will soon be celebrating their 2nd wedding anniversary. No one can figure out why neither of them dated or had BF/BFs until now.</p>
<p>My sympathy for the pretty and popular girls being victimized by rumors is limited. Those girls are more typically the ones who start such rumors.</p>
<p>Yes, there’s plenty of time for all that drama later. Although this year’s disappointment may sting now, it will pass and there are plenty of excellent suggestions for next year’s senior prom which bear consideration, including making friendly overtures to likely boys, asking friends to go-between or just going stag and being comfortable with that. Just remember that this by no means is any indication of future social abilities or lack thereof.</p>
<p>S1 went happily in an amiable herd to grad prom, although numbers were equal in his immediate social group, 4 girls and 4 boys. They were friends from grade school and continue to socialize whenever they return home from respective universities. S2 is part of a half paired-up, half stag loose social group. Even at that, he has taken pains to go in the limo with one group and sitting at the table with a different one. This way he figured he can cover more people in one night and see everyone before they go off in different directions after graduation.</p>
<p>There are many many teenage social variations and the right one is the one where your child is comfortable and happy. (although how one could possibly be happy in high school is the subject of many a philosophical and psychological debate)!!!</p>
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<p>???
He didn’t like mommy’s milk. Other than that he has never turned down his mother’s cooking. You know he is well travelled and will eat local cuisine without any problems. If that what you mean.</p>
<p>Quote:
She was actually a very sweet and unassuming person but her stunning looks made other girls jealous to the point of making up stories about her</p>
<p>I have never in my entire life known a girl or woman to do that.</p>
<p>Oops, I meant to quote the message above and reply with this:</p>
<p>You are kidding, right?? You must only have sons, then!</p>
<p>My D1 is a foodie.
For a slim person, she has a very healthy appetite. Good food makes her smile.</p>
<p>My thoughts on this thread as a 19 year old male…</p>
<p>-Your daughter(s) may be beautiful, but that doesn’t mean the typical high school male will find her attractive. A lot of different factors play into attraction, and the average high school male doesn’t necessarily go for the ‘classical/traditional beauty’. I’m not suggesting your daughters aren’t good looking (far from it), but the average high school male doesn’t recognize it.
-Smart girls aren’t nearly as intimidating to HS males as some of you are making them out to be.
-A lot of these dateless girls (for lack of a better term) are in their situations because they didn’t/don’t show any interest…I’m not suggesting that a girl needs to be a total flirt to catch boys’ attentions, but refraining from flirting (even with boys they might have a crush on) kills almost all interest a boy might have.</p>
<p>Just my two cents.</p>
<p>"My sympathy for the pretty and popular girls being victimized by rumors is limited. Those girls are more typically the ones who start such rumors. "</p>
<p>Yes, being good-looking and well liked totally correlates with having a bad character.</p>
<p>Being popular correlates with being skilled at popularity skills. Those skills include manipulating other people. So, yeah, being popular correlates with being nasty to those lower on the totem pole, because that’s how you get popular.</p>
<p>Although most people go as couples many kids in my s’s class just went with friends. I know both boys and girls who either got together with a friends friend just for the prom or who just went without a date. I think this was great that they were able to attend a memorable event from their senior year, without feeling they had to have a date. But I guess it depends on the culture of the school and the class.</p>
<p>In my D’s case, the boy who took her to senior prom had turned down two of her friends who had asked him because he’s “traditional” and likes to do the asking. D was flattered that he asked her (she assumes it was as a buddy) & her friends were surprised but happy for her. </p>
<p>I have a hard time understanding some of the teen angst & dynmaics, especially among females. I’m happy that among D’s friends, they seem to be able to skip most of it & have been good friends from 9th grade thru now, the year after HS. She has a much rougher time with the “passive-aggressive” stuff between females in grades 2-8th, for some reason. In HS, things with males & females improved socially (tho her health deteriorated).</p>