I haven’t booked blocks of hotel rooms for a wedding but have for other weekend events and, yes, it is common too have it limited to 20 or so. That doesn’t mean that folks can’t book rooms at a particular hotel outside of that block booking though. I can understand why a hotel might want to limit one group taking over a good chunk of reservations.
You could also try being a bit surreptitious and try to book another block using another name. How would they know?
I’m the groom’s mom. May 27. They have dress, venue, photographer, wedding party and attire, D.J., caterer and officiant, two hotels with special pricing. I had already given them a substantial amount towards the venue as I had with his brother who got married and we have contracted with a restaurant for the rehearsal dinner, more expensive than I would have liked but it’s the area, can’t fight it. MOB has done preliminary shopping but has not chosen a dress yet. I’m waiting to see what she chooses. I’m the MOG…wear beige and keep my mouth shut. LOL.
These “kids” are 33 and 36 years old and freely admit they expect nothing from us and are so very grateful for what we want to give them. Like most people who are not just out of mom and dad’s house, they are fully prepared for and willing to pay for their own wedding. So, I’m glad to help where I can.
We are lucky on hotel - big city and nothing scheduled that weekend. They have reserved 20 rooms but will bump up as we need. Have choice of regular room ($125/night) or suite ($145/night) - both have a choice of king bed or two queens, and it automatically has the two nights when you use the link from the couple’s wedding web site, Fri/Sat, but you can get that rate for days before and after.Hilton/Hampton Inn. 4 blocks from church/reception. I believe free valet parking for the wedding group (otherwise it is a nightly charge); free shuttle to and from airport. Hot breakfast included.
The wedding web site does look nice. Progress is being made.
My bee buzzing has action forthcoming.
My experience with hotel blocks in NYC has been that they will block about 15 rooms on a courtesy basis or a larger number with a guarantee. The hotel we’ve chosen has told me that they will add rooms to our block if we fill the rooms in the original agreement (which we think will happen). It’s a holiday weekend and this hotel has business clientele, primarily. However, the prices in NYC are typical for the area…in other words, expensive. I’ve been out of town, but will sign the agreements for the hotel and the rehearsal dinner by this weekend. Once those are done, all that’s left for me is to find a dress!
Gee, godson is getting married in June and they haven’t blocked rooms yet, small town. Bride left that to some aunt. But I get to stay with my bff, the MOB. She seems to think she’ll have a room.
Talked to H last night about his parents’ poor health and their desire to make the long trip for the wedding which will be medically compromising. He will talk to his two brothers in parents’ area, and also talk to his dad (who will have more reason and ability to have his W give up the mission). It just adds a layer of stress, and looming disaster if they don’t make the right decision (their parents staying home).
SOSC, can you livestream or informally videotape the wedding? We did that for my mom and sister who were not able to attend S1’s wedding celebration. Dad took the video from his seat and took it home to them. Worked really well for us.
I obviously don’t know your in-laws health condition but I would want to make every effort to have my kids’ grandparents there for my own kids’ weddings. That doesn’t mean the burden should fall on the bride’s family. Let other family members know you expect them to step up and handle the responsibility from all angles. There has to be more than one person who can share the duty.
To me, big family occasions are just that - for family. As long as people can travel and sit through a ceremony, even in a wheelchair, and want to attend, they should be there. What’s the point in living to an old age if you can’t attend momentous occasions like a grandchild’s wedding?
In laws poor health is they should be in skilled care. They are beyond what would be allowed for assisted living (they live at home, have meals on wheels, and have family shopping, taking them to doctor appointments or the ER etc). MIL sometimes seems more aware than other times. She has had several UTIs, is diabetic, has gout, swollen legs/feet, heart is weak - so walking from kitchen to living room has her worn out, and she can no longer help her H with his shower (he had some strokes and limitations). FIL could travel more easily than MIL, and he probably will outlive her thanks to heredity. They could not handle airline travel - they have done that several years ago to other places with family things, but need at least one attendant and really should have one for each. MIL is also very anxious with airline travel and has avoided it for almost all trips. A car ride of over 850 miles is extreme for their fragile health.
I work skilled care/rehab as a Charge RN. They are sicker than many of our residents, and I am not exaggerating.
Wedding will be video’d by the photographer’s fiance’/husband.
H is also worried about the wedding and the decisions causing a negative health event on his mom in particular.
If we were within a few hundred miles, it would not be an issue - like you say, sit through a ceremony, have an attendant taking care of them and getting them to the hotel if they don’t feel well. But our situation is very complicated and would suck any attention to Bride/Groom, other people at the wedding.
My mother with dementia was taken to grandson’s wedding with several of my siblings - this was a few months before her very rapid decline and death. They found it overwhelming (I was in cancer treatment in a distant state and was unable to go). The grandson’s wedding was a few hundred miles away and they traveled by car. Mom was very confused with the hotel stay and the sequence of events. She was there but ‘not there’.
This should be the bride/groom/attendees’ event - for those healthy enough to be at the event w/o being a distraction. How fun would it be for someone having a MI and death at the event? This could truly happen with MIL - several of her sisters died of cardiac issues or COPD.
Obviously, there will be different opinions, but I’m with you, SOS. There are various ways to seal something as important as a marriage with aged relatives. The couple can travel to them and have a priest bless the marriage in front of the grandparents. Or other ideas.
When a relative is too frail, it isn’t always possible for them to come hundreds of miles. I don’t even see how they’re expected to endure that last 100 miles, day of, much less the drive there . Gout and swollen legs can be a disaster waiting to happen. You can’t sit in a car that long. Or you need to stop every hour for a rest room. Or the change in scenery, while driving, sets one off.
This doesn’t sound like arbitrary exclusion, but concern.
850 miles each way? Plus 100 mi each way the day of the wedding? THis is a disaster waiting to happen.
SOSC, if a family friend can film the wedding on a cell phone or small video camera, that would be a blessing for the grandparents. They could then see the video without having to wait for the professional version. 850 miles is two FULL days of driving, which is tough for many healthy people, much less frail seniors.
My mom was bedridden and completely unable to travel; one of my sisters stayed home to care for her. I sent them flowers from all of us on the day of the wedding, and my dad brought home video two days later. Worked really well for us (and Mom was thrilled with the flowers), and I took down pictures two months later for Mom to see just before she passed away. Perhaps the B&G can send flowers and a loving note to be delivered the day of the wedding.
Not at all tech savvy with this kind of stuff, but maybe FB Live or Periscope would work for live feed it there was someone there to help in-laws at that end.
We had grandparents who were unable to,attend a family wedding due to illness. They lived about 3 hours drive from the wedding venue. The bride and groom went to visit…and actuallyndressed in their wedding clothes. It was very sweet and much appreciated.
I was the family member who sent pictures from the wedding. So the grands had pictures of the bride and groom, family, reception, etc…while it was happening. That was much appreciated.
Yes @CountingDown it is undoable IMHO. I think the idea of sending them flowers is grand. We can send snaps on facebook. The GD of the flower girl will keep grandma posted.
If nothing else, we may have to have grandfather say he is not feeling at all up to the trip at least a day before they pack. A fake illness to prevent disaster.
My grandmother was 100 when my sister got married and unable to travel. We didn’t try to video the wedding, but during the reception we had prearranged a Facetime. I went around and she said hi to the relatives there, then was able to talk to the bride and groom. The photographer took a photo of them with the phone and her picture on it. We did the same at my DDs wedding when my brother was unable to make it.
H’s great aunt (the GF’s aunt, who happened to be a nun, and was also part of the ‘nun study’ with aging, from Sisters of Notre Dame) was at his brother’s wedding, but she was in good health and still working in her 90’s, She died a few months before she would have turned 108. After in skilled care (after age 100), she would go around “to cheer the old folks up” - and she was the oldest resident.
MIL has way too many health issues.
D and fiance found a venue they absolutely love, but no Saturdays until October 2018. They decided on a Friday wedding, but now D is stressing about having to do the ceremony in the late afternoon on a work day. They have to get married in a church - it will be our church, about 45 minutes north of the venue. Believe me, the fact that it is in our church is rough enough for the groom’s family to handle - she doesn’t want to rock the boat further by having our minister officiate at the ceremony site rather than in the church. She wants to have time for pictures after the ceremony, so there will be time between the wedding & reception. And the venue is in the city, so there is the whole hotel thing. This is giving rise to all sorts of worries on D’s part. And she IS a worrier! I told her she & fiance just need to decide what they want and own it.
Are you going to provide transportation to and from the ceremony/reception for your guests? If the venue is in the city, people may not have cars. It really depends on where you would expect the guests to stay.
I am sure there is a reason your daughter wants the ceremony at the church and with your minister. Have you thought about having the grooms clergy co officiate the ceremony and have it at the venue? That way everything will be in one location and easiest for the guest, as well as the family and bridal party. Seems like a lot of travel and time spent on a busy Friday.
Suddenly I’m very glad my daughter and her future husband are having a nonreligious ceremony at the same hotel where they will be having their reception (which starts immediately after the end of the ceremony). The planning has been complex enough without worrying about how to get people from place to place and what they’re going to do during the time between the ceremony and reception. I hadn’t even thought about the logistical issues of two venues or the feelings people might have about using or not using their own clergy as officiant.