State park lodges? D’s BF was in a wedding in Charleston and ceremony/reception was at a lodge looking building in a state or county park…Probably hit or miss if there’s any place nice enough near where you want to be but maybe worth checking.
In our county, the park facilities started at $4k (old mansion, barn, etc.). I think that includes tables and chairs, but nothing else. We had a county arts venue in 2013 which is now charging $495/hour, 4 hour minimum, 10 hours max, and INCLUDES set-up/take-down time. We were standing outside the door with all our stuff waiting for them to unlock the door at precisely 1 pm. Not a second earlier. Nothing could be delivered/set up in advance.
@mom60 I assume they have been on weddingwire dot com… lists many venues, from Banquet Hall; Boat/Yacht;
Country/Golf Club;Farm;Government Building; Historic; Hotel; Inn/B&B; Mansion; Museum; Religious; Restaurant to
Winery. Filter by capacity; indoor/outdoor; reviews, etc. Good luck!
Good luck to all in high cost areas not having the wedding break the bank. I know all will just have to look hard at venues/churches, find ways to save money, and spend the money where it will help make the event a good one.
DD is home for the weekend, and getting some wedding details done.
I, too, wish good luck to those searching in high cost areas when searching for wedding venues. When my S and FDIL were looking, I was surprised at the exorbitant site fees charged by some sites, before they even began to price out catering, entertainment, rentals etc. I know there are ways to minimize costs everywhere, but in high cost areas that often means a lot of compromise for all parties involved. Hopefully, the B,G, and all families involved are on the same page. We have been very lucky in this regard.
@Consolation - our friend is getting having her reception at the local Unitarian church. It is a nice spot but even that is $6000 for the site fee. They have used all the available internet spots to search for venues. They invited us today to go look at 2 spots in the wine county of Santa Ynez Ca. One was a horse ranch and the other a winery. The ranch wasn’t the fiancé type of place but it was pretty. As she said they want almost $9000 for a few areas of green lawn and a driveway. The tour guide did tell us that a simple wedding in that area would run 40,000-80000. And to stay at 40 you have to really be tight with the budget. I think if we had visited in another month we would have been more wowed. All the sycamores and birches are still bare. The roses that are all over the property were just getting leaves and it rained this morning. It would look very different if all was in bloom.
The winery was less expensive and a beautiful spot though once again while the lawns were green the vineyards were still bare. It did have a beautiful vista. It didn’t include much in the site fee so one would really need to figure out all the other costs. Once we returned home they talked and decided that they felt something special when they toured the Nor Ca venue and are going to go with it but tighten up the guest list. It will be a challenge for me as I have a big family.
I think the value of the visit was that it showed them alternatives and it also showed my H that all the venues are costly.
Another thing I noticed was that all the places we looked into in the Santa Ynez area charged the same price for a Friday or Sunday event. Years ago when H and I married on a Sunday we saved significantly over a Saturday.
@VaBluebird - the dress is a lovely blue. I love finding the perfect outfit and getting it at a great price.
The other interesting thing we discovered is that our S is extremely picky.
Now to go trim my list. Yikes that is going to be difficult.
With charges of $9-10K just for the venue’s site fee, I can understand why some choose a destination wedding. 
I thought DD had photographer, but that is her next item to secure.
DD had to remind her fiance’ that the wedding is 150 days out; DD is about to send out the invites, but fiance’ hasn’t sent out some of his ‘save the dates’. She just pestered him tonight about it.
the prices for weddings are seriously out of control. unreal.
It is expensive if you are renting a venue that’s not a restaurant/catering place. You would end up paying for a rental, then everything you need for the reception - tables, chairs, linens, glasswares…all of that add up. D1 is lucky that she was able to find a very large local restaurant to have the reception. They are waiving the rental fee, and closing down the restaurant for a day for spending over $X. We negotiated for something similar for the welcome party. They are waiving the rental fee if we are willing to guarantee $Y bar bill. For the reception, we are renting farm tables, but we will use the restaurant’s chairs, glasswares, plates and utensils.
When I was looking for a place for D1’s engagement party in NYC, most places didn’t charge a rental fee, except for art gallery places in Soho, but that’s how they made money.
@VaBluebird - they are, but weddings and receptions have become a lot more elaborate too in the past 20 years or so. I mean, seriously - photo booths? Cookie tables?
We were married at my home parish with the reception in the parish hall, which was more ballroom than gym so we lucked into a nice venue for a little bit of nothing. We served heavy hors d’oeuvres and had an open bar and disc jockey, and that was considered an elaborate wedding by local standards. Now if one has anything less than a cocktail hour, plated sit-down dinner and band, it’s considered chintzy.
Has anyone hosted a brunch the morning after the wedding? Although it is not really a destination wedding, there will be a contingent of guests (including our family, even though we live in the near suburbs) staying at a hotel in NYC. The majority of the couple’s “unofficial wedding party” lives in the city and won’t be staying at the hotel. We were having dinner last night with the couple and the B’s mother and she wondered whether the brunch space at the hotel could accommodate the number of people she anticipated attending (including the massive “unofficial wedding party” members and SOs. We offer early on to host the brunch, but I never expected it to be a repeat of the rehearsal dinner. Am I out of touch? Would we be inviting everyone back for brunch the next morning? If so, I need to rethink this plan - the space at the hotel can’t accommodate that number of people and to be honest, I hadn’t budgeted for so many. I have reached out to my S to discuss this with him but I thought I’d ask you wise and experienced people first!
My niece did a breakfast-for-dinner wedding and saved a ton of $$. Folks loved it. Rental on the train depot where she had the wedding and reception was $750. I could have cried. Was a perfect size for 100 people. Her entire wedding was under $5k. Lots of DIY, she borrowed some of our wedding stuff, they had music on an Ipod, etc. It CAN be done, but a lot of it depends on geographic area.
@runnersmom - my cousin (the groom) got married in his wife’s hometown and my aunt and uncle hosted an absolutely wonderful buffet brunch at a popular local restaurant for the out-of-town relatives the next day. It was mainly family and my aunt and uncle’s close friends. Maybe you could limit it to the true out-of-towners?
@CountingDown - I wanted to do a mid-morning wedding with a champagne brunch reception but my parents, who were paying, vetoed it. My wedding came in under $5K too but this was in 1989.
I’ve never been to a wedding with a official brunch the next day, although I gather from reading CC that it is increasingly common in some circles, even obligatory.
In our area, the next day brunch is for the out of town guests. Its kind of obligatory, as a final thank you to the guests for traveled to the wedding. We’re hosting it at the wedding hotel. Actually, I think all we’re doing is commandeering a section of the dining room, encouraging the guests to go through the buffet line, and we’ll pick up the tab…yet another wedding expense!
We will be hosting a continental breakfast with mimosa a the inn we are staying at. They have a beautiful sun room where we could set up for breakfast. It would be very low key, just a chance for people to come by to get a bit to eat before they take off. It won’t be a sit down affair. I think most (young) people will sleep in.
@runnersmom I hosted an After Brunch for my niece several years back. It was at a nice restaurant. It was mainly extended family only - cousins, grandparents, etc. included - but a few of the B&G’s friends/attendants as well. The groom’s family is very small so it was mainly the bride’s family. About 25-30 people. I reserved a private dining area at the restaurant. Guests were able to order off the full regular menu which was a mix of both breakfasty and lunchy type items. Great food. Pretty low key. I think it averaged out to about $25 per head. Some folks got typical brunch cocktails but most stuck with coffee.
When H & I attended a destination wedding, that was the only time I’m aware of that there was an “after” brunch. Generally, folks have the reception and then everyone’s left to their own devices and schedules (lots of planes to catch, etc.) It’d think an “after” brunch could end up rather expensive.
That is what we would be doing - a casual bagel/lox/cream cheese buffet for people to drop in and grab a bite before checking out of the hotel. The thing is, the space is limited, this is a boutique hotel without any larger spaces, and to be honest, I had no intention of making this yet another event. I spoke to my son about it this morning and he’s going to speak with his fiancée to be sure we are all on the same page.