I’ve never seen a memorial table. I think having a sprig of lilac would be lovely, but I don’t see any reason to tell everyone why it’s there, as long as the family knows.
Zoosermom,
If they include the lilac and a program note, what would they do for the other missing grandparents/relatives?
I recently attended the wedding of very close family friend; there was a memory table and chair near the seating cards. It had small frames with photos of folks who would have attended and a framed lovely poem about the empty chair. No person was identified; but it was touching that I wasn’t the only one missing my late husband that day.
My daughter and SIL made mention of the grandparents that were not with us in their program, and my husband mentioned his father in his speech. He said something along the lines of how proud his father would have been of our daughter and how much he is missed. Very low key, but mentioned.
D’s grandfather and FSIL’s father are deceased. They will be mentioned in the service. D was close to her grandfather. He always bragged about how he was going to dance at her wedding (He loved to dance). I needle-pointed a special heart in the wedding colors with both their initials and some musical notes . It is sewn inside the hem of her dress. He’ll be dancing with her that day. As for pictures, D wants to put a fun picture we have of her and my dad on the bar, because that’s probably where you would have found him!
S and DIL had a blurb in the program about grandparents who were deceased or unable to travel for the wedding. We did the same thing for their Bar Mitzvahs, because my parents didn’t attend and DH’s mother had passed away a year prior.
Make sure the lilacs are available, since they only bloom here in spring. Some flowers are pretty expensive to bring in from afar. Maybe you find the prettiest and best made silk version (especially if it’s just a sprig per bouquet,) then save those later for your D.
For D2, we didn’t do any official remembrance or memorial to the two family members we’d lost. I think, for us, we should have. Even just a photo tucked in a corner.
My mom had passed away about a year & a half before my niece got married. My dad sat in the front row with a picture of my mom facing forward, so she could watch with him. I am tearing up right now remembering it (and Dad died 10 days after the wedding).
I honestly have never heard of doing any of these things except a passing comment in a toast until lately.
D’s FMIL told me that she had a small display of deceased loved one’s at her youngest S’s wedding three weeks ago.
“small display of deceased loved one’s at her youngest S’s wedding” X_X
Let’s hope photos were displayed…
In my daughters’ ceremonies, the officiant has mentioned the names of beloved relatives who aren’t there because they’ve died. When my youngest d is married in 3.5 weeks, the officiant will also mention the name of a dear friend who was killed 5 years ago. Her parents and sister will be in attendance, though my d would have had her name mentioned in any case, as they were very close.
We’ll have a table display of family wedding photos from both sides, which by coincidence will include photos of some deceased relatives (the bride’s grandfathers and great-grandparents, the groom’s grandfather and great-grandparents). Not the same thing as a memory table, of course, which I think could be a lovely thing if the bride and groom want it.
I doubt we will have a program. We will, however, have a small,photo display with picture of grandparents and great grandparents who are no longer alive. And yes…probably flowers on that table.
When our friend’s D was married, I was present when we were putting final touches on wedding favors and other wedding prep. The relatives of the groom suggested it would be nice to display photos of deceased relatives “somewhere.” Everyone present was very surprised (this was mere days before the event) but made polite noises and said the engaged couple would sleep on it and the couple ultimately opted not to twist themselves into pretzels to honor this last minute whim that was just thrown out.
The wedding and reception went flawlessly.
There’s a difference between some cultural imperative to do this and just wanting a reminder of someone dear. Make whatever choice is comfortable.
Our D has been having an AWFUL time dealing with an online company that claims to have made her a custom bridesmaid’s dress that does NOT fit AT ALL and the dressmaker she took it to says obviously was NOT custom made AT ALL. They are making her buy a 2nd dress and we will have to alter that dress to fit with a slight discount. 
We are also buying D plane tickets to attend the wedding as well as plane tickets to the bachelorette party. I’m also throwing a shower for the bride. As soon as I know the name of the company, we will publicize it so no one will give them business as they are very bad to work with and don’t stand behind their product.
@Himom, a lot of brides rely heavily on the reviews on WeddingWire and The Knot when selecting wedding vendors. If the company is listed on those sites, a negative review could have an impact.
Deceased grandparents were mentioned in the Prayers of the Faithful, along with the mom and uncle of two of her best friends. They were also in the program with a cross by their names.
This is something we haven’t considered…my FDIL was very close to her grandmother who died last year and my S has lost both his grandfathers in the past few years. I know I will mention my dad in my toast either at the rehearsal dinner or the wedding because he was such a presence in my S’s life. As official as it’s been before, the invitations are going out today. Ten weeks to go!
DD’s dress which she ordered with her measurements to Amelia Sposa (Italian dress design and manufacturing,sold direct)
This is my DD’s dress https://ameliasposa.it/catalog/item-94
It fit her perfectly. David’s Bridal gave us the measurements they took (bridal consultant confirmed Amelia Sposa was legit). She did have an alteration person do something to bustle up the dress for the reception, DD said it was simple and doesn’t affect the dress look for the wedding.
DD had fallen in love with this dress and none of the dresses she tried on at David’s could move the dress out of her head.
It worked out. AS dress can be returned if it is ordered in a standard size. To me that would not have worked for us because of time frame - send this one back and then what?
FSIL and DD1 and DD2 were at the house, and all were talking about the wedding toasts (DD2 is MOH). It all should be interesting.
Just saying. Last night I watched a video of a best man’s toast and it was ridiculous. The guy went on sbout how they met, the hat the groom used to wear, the book they were reading in that college class, how many times the BM had already read it, he quoted some lines from it and described characters. Ugh. Try to keep a time limit and remind them it’s a toast, not a freaking bio, not a monologue. This one ran over 8 minutes. Boh-ring.
There are few things worse than a tipsy 20-something guy who tries to unleash his inner comedian at a wedding.