Worst best man toast I have witnessed was at the December wedding of a 1st grade teacher who had invited her entire class to the reception. Their tables were all up at the front near the head table. The best man tells a “hilarious” story about how his brother (the groom) found out that Santa Claus wasn’t real. A couple of the kids actually started to cry. The bride was horrified.
I have been away too long and had to skim a bit to catch up here! I can’t believe it, but my D’s wedding is now less than a month away. We’re mostly ready, but it still seems like a million little things to do.
It’s going to be a fantasy/Renaissance theme (think Ren Faire geeks!) outdoors in a mountain meadow. She’s having two outfits made locally by seamstresses she knows and I’m looking forward to seeing the final versions soon. She won’t have a typical dress. The ceremony outfit will be a 25-yard skirt and top with a lacy entari jacket over it. The reception outfit will have a mermaid skirt. D is a professional dancer, so both outfits will get a lot of use, which I think is great.
They actually received back RSVP’s from all but one guest (MOG’s boyfriend!) in a fairly timely manner. D is kind of relieved that there will be no small children in attendance (a few teens, but she’s fine with that). We’re also glad that enough people declined that we can go with the smaller (i.e. cheaper!) reception tent. The declines even left room for a “second wave” and D was able to invite her co-workers from the circus and some other local dancers. It will be a very dancy wedding!
We have finished the choreography for our mother-daughter dance and now I just need to start practicing a bit more! I love the father-daughter dance as well, which is a take on Chris Pratt’s opening scene “dance” in Guardians of the Galaxy.
I found my MOB dress at the Ren Fest a few weeks ago (love it!) and we also finalized my younger kids groomsman and MOH outfits. H will come along this weekend to find his FOB outfit. Possibly a kilt!
So, there’s my one-month-out update for the geeky belly dance wedding!
^fun
Finally got D to talk about HER wedding. I made a list of “what do you want”. We went over things.
I called out a no longer going to do a meet and greet and she was fine. This is huge as I no longer care
if I get a new coffee table or change that art work. It should only be an evening with his parents and I
already know our taste is very different.
D and FSIL are having their big party bash the very next weekend…so they will leave and within 48 hours
we will need to fly to Boston. I decided that we will all have enough of each other and so tried to book
the hotel we like only to find it has no availability for our dates in Sept.
Argh. We never planned on this trip to Boston and know it is because FSIL felt his parents needed to be
invited–other 144 guests will be their friends.
I do not want to embarrass them but we really do not want to attend… $-)
DS told us we made the first cut on the invitation list. 
D ordered her dress on Saturday. It was a very lovely experience. Phew!
Regarding deceased loved ones - Niece this weekend had something in church program that said the flowers in the chancel were in memory of …(and listed grandparents and 2 close aunts).
So we had the big wedding for my niece. Very traditional in terms of ceremony and reception. Biggest snafu. G’s grandmother had makeup on arm (I guess to hide age spots) but wasn’t smudge proof and ended up smeared on jackets of groomsmen that helped her up stairs and to seat etc. These were white dinner jackets (black tie wedding).
Other than that and the rain that made pre-ceremony pictures difficult it was lovely weekend. But again with the toasts at rehearsal that went on and on (over an hour). Got very noisy as the after party in an adjacent area got cranked up before we were done.
Hit of night for my girls was late night food. They passed bacon wrapped grilled cheese and shoestring fries. D remarked that in her opinion all grilled cheese should be wrapped in bacon!
MOB commented that having a ‘Day of’ coordinator was the best money they spent!
Thanks for sharing that, @scmom12.
We have arranged for one for my daughter’s wedding (at my insistence, and I paid for her services). I hope this turns out to be worthwhile.
@Marian The people they used kept the bride and groom on track - basically followed them around reception. Got them in, first dance, helped with cake cutting, changing to leave - made sure they kept on schedule and that they had at least something to drink. Made sure that boxed food made it to couple at end of evening. They also had someone checking in with MOB and FOB and I assume also with his parents with regards to getting them drinks/food and being sure they didn’t miss anything. They also made sure all the gifts brought to reception were transported to brides house and were ready to handle any problems with the shuttles (thankfully none). They were liaisons with country club staff about food and timing plus little things like gathering bouquets from bride/bridesmaids to decorate cake table, delivering the photo album used as a guest book, etc.
Kind of like insurance. If everything goes right, you wonder why you bother. But if something goes wrong, then it’s a real benefit to have someone to take care of it while you are busy with guests.
" bacon wrapped grilled cheese "
Sounds absolutely scrumptious.
Marian - Have the couple go over the schedule with the coordinator few days before. I would also ask the coordinator if he/she is going to bring some emergency stuff with her, like thread/needle, cream, hairspray, cleaner, bug spread (if outdoor), hairpins, etc. It is also appropriate to let guests know to go to the coordinator if they need anything instead of going to the bride or family members.
Our venue requires a day of coordinator and the bride’s mother has apparently hired her for the month before the wedding, as well, to help with all the final details. As MOG, I’m really pleased there will be someone to turn to if my control issues get the best of me so I don’t bother the MOB or my S and FDIL.
Thank you for the advice, @oldfort.
Another question for all: Who gets tipped and how much? And who is responsible for getting the tips into the hands of the right people?
Scmom12, the late night food is a great idea. Add that to my list of things to discuss with the reception venue.
Tips are usually built into service contracts, like for food & bar … so you wouldn’t need to tip those folks unless you felt someone went over & above. My parents tipped the soloist & organist at our wedding because the cost for the church was so low they figured those ladies wouldn’t be adequately compensated … but it costs a bundle for D to get married at our church (and we are very active members) … so no one is getting tipped there. I honestly don’t know if anyone is going to “need” to be tipped (but again, if they go over & above, it may merit some buckage).
@silpat I think late night stuff is good if for no other reason than encouraging people who might have now been drinking a few hours to eat some more food (whole event was heavy hors d’oeuvres). I think the order was that they passed late night food, closed the bar, then about 15 minutes later band stopped. There was definite end to night and most young people rode the buses back to hotels.
Every place we’ve spoken with has an 18% or 20% mandatory “service fee.” Is this actually just another term for the gratuity? We’ve been thinking, okay, $150 per person, then another 20% for ‘service fee,’ then another 15-20% for tip. If the service fee is the gratuity, then that makes some options waay more viable than I previously thought.
H and I went to a fun, non-traditional wedding last weekend. The bride wore black, had no attendants, and didn’t walk down an aisle. The ceremony (held in art gallery/music venue) began with cocktails in the art gallery, followed by a concert (in music venue) where a soloist (with piano acompaniment) sang Cole Porter tunes (favorite of the bride). Between songs, the soloist chatted about the bride and groom–how they met, where they were born, etc. He was really talented. The bride’s parents welcomed everyone before the concert and a judge (who was a family friend) performed the ceremony afterwards.
From the music venue, we went upstairs for the reception (food stations/open bar) and dancing (a New Orleans jazz band). The next day there was a brunch at the home of the bride for out-of-town guests and relatives that featured food (not all of it) from the Czech Republic (the groom is Czech and all of his family had come to the US for the wedding).
You should double-check, @rebeccar, but I am 99.999% sure that the service fee covers the gratuity.
My daughter, who is in the hospitality industry, says the actual servers usually do not receive any of the service fee, so should be tipped separately.