So … this just happened: d2 went to the tailor shop to pick up her bridesmaid’s dress for d3’s wedding (in 14 days, 1 hour, and 6 minutes) and found that they had cut off the hem instead of turning it under, so that it is now 4 inches above her knee and cannot be made any longer. She absolutely can’t wear it. She’s a marathoner and has the legs for it, but none of the other bridesmaids will be sporting a dress 4 inches above the knee.
My oldest d is the matron of honor and will be wearing a different dress. But it’s a maternity dress, so not possible for d2 to wear the same one, even if she could find it and get it in time. I could kick someone right now.
Thanks, @thumper1. D2 has found a similar dress on ebay and is just waiting to figure out with d3 what to do. If they decide to go with that, I hope it’s in great condition.
D2 is a lawyer and all about getting the shop to pay her back for the now unwearable dress. The owner apologized and said d2 didn’t have to pay for the job, to which she said something unprintable but along the lines of “This is going to cost you way more than that.”
Fun reading about all the dress selections! I was so thrilled I got to go to the final dress fitting last week! This is her ceremony dress and she really looks like an elven princess.
21 days to go!
@frazzled1, wow they weren’t going to make her pay for a botched job – how generous! I hope the ebay dress will work for your D2. Also hope the magic words “I’m a lawyer” will help the shop owner see things sensibly!
Ohhh thumper @-).
I texted D something or other that I needed to know and got a “I will talk about the wedding
on Saturday”. It was pretty off for her.
I then reminded her that she might want to make her alteration appointment for Sept. now and not count on the shop to track her. She thought that was great and why don’t I make the call? Which I keep forgetting to do.
Independent vendor set their own fees. They should not, IMHO, be “tipped.” In fact, I think it would be an insult to “tip” a minister or other officiant.
@thumper1 If you need a daughter that is usually snarky, I have one I can lend you
@frazzled1 I hope the replacement dress works for your daughter. After the wedding you can all laugh at this snafu; I for one would not be calm and would probably be freaking out just a bit!
@thumper1 Next time you should text “If you were smart you should check with the photographer to see if he can do your engagement pictures that weekend, don’t you think?” How’s that for question format?
Or “Maybe next weekend would be perfect for engagement photos?” “Would photographer be able to check schedule with you two via text if you reached out to him now?”
@thumper1, I can sympathize. The first time my daughter snarked at me, it really hurt my feelings. Thankfully those moments were only a few. She probably realised what she did and is feeling bad about it.
@thumper1, ^^made me laugh.
It’s remembering to use the question mode.
After much practice, I am getting better (~70% of the time) at starting conversations with my now adult kids with:
‘I was wondering, do you think…?’
Day before wedding - DD gets to venue site almost a day later than she had planned on for reasons beyond her control. Groom’s dad & I had spent the entire day (when she was supposed to be there) setting up tables and chairs, using her uncompleted seating chart. I start to show her what we had done and she started snapping about how she didn’t like one table’s position. I set the paper and pen down on the chair and said fine. Sat down and said nothing. The other 6 people there to help (all siblings/close friends) started slinking out of the room. I left and went and had a pity party in my room. The poor groom was the last one standing, lol, and couldn’t go hide. His mom said she wasn’t even speaking to him anymore and she now understands why she has seen brides. grooms and parents snapping at each other and crying bouts, etc - all followed by hugs and beautiful weddings. They own the venue. It’s funny now, but sure wasn’t at the time.
I’ve heard some doozie stories. In one case, the bride (who lived a distance from her home twonnwhere the wedding was) snarled at her mom so many times…that the mom sent ALL of the wedding contracts, the plan book, etc to the bride. Told them the budget, and let them take over.
I think it’s a challenging time for everyone with all the different decisions that need to be made.
Even the sweetest bride can have one or two snarks!
It’s too many decisions for some and can feel relentless. I melted down just before my own wedding, ended up at the doc. He nicely laughed. I handled so much at work, but your wedding can be quite a different sort of juggling, laden with expectations, personal and everyone else’s.
So, give them a hug. “It’ll be wonderful” or a mom-ly “It’s ok” can work wonders.
As for me- and this is so longstanding that it works- I do sometimes phrase as commands. But it’s, “Think about xxx” or “whether you want to…” And they know the processing and decisions are theirs.
Just saying, because it is such a high pressure situation.
I hear you, @thumper1 - we’re there and then some.
Looking for input on welcome bags for guests who are staying at the designated hotels. I know some folks think they’re a waste of effort and money. I understand what they mean, but we’re doing them because we did them for the last two weddings and the bride and groom think it’s a nice idea. So what do you like to see in a welcome bag?
We know we’ll have bottled water, small bottles of wine (or maybe these neat cans from Trader Joe’s, if we can get them: http://www.businessinsider.com/trader-joes-wine-cans-2017-6), nice packets of tissue, and a small tube of sunscreen. Any suggestions for other things? Small snacks - something sweet, something chocolate, and something salty would be nice - I’d love suggestions for those. Maybe some hard candies or mints, too? Bath and Body has cute hand sanitizers on sale this week and we might do those.
