runnersmom, may I join you on the smile and nod stage?
D’s wedding is very small but nonetheless…
FSIL has arranged an AirBnB for his family that is a good 40 minute drive from our house.
This makes absolutely no sense. It has no a.c. We often have a heat wave in the beginning of
Sept. and they may be thinking of having their Friday night thing at that house. Not sure but some talk of this.
Also, there is no reservation for Friday night and there is no way 22 people can be walk-in’s.
They had two choices of restaurants for Saturday night. One has amazing food and wonderful service.
There was a small problems with seating but it could have been figured out.
They chose a place that I have only been to for 3 happy hour’s and had a wonderful burger.
The service was horrid. The couple has eaten there for happy hour just once.
Checking the Yelp reviews…oh dear. Not good at all.
Smile and Nod.
[quote]
“smile and nod” is my default response now - the kids are swamped at work and I want to make this as pleasurable and easy on them as possible.[/quote}
This was the exact tactic I took in the final pre-wedding weeks. I had to deal with some last minute organizational and financial requests. It wasn’t exactly what I’d intended to do with my dwindling time and money, but I wanted to be supportive of the B&G and be happy. It wasn’t a hill I was going to die on. My mother was a crazy stressed-out mess just before I got married and it really put a damper on the day.
You have been a very generous and supportive MOG which I’m sure the couple greatly appreciates. I would have been thrilled to have some emotional (and financial) support from the groom’s side.
One thing I did tell D1 was if they wanted the groom’s parents to contribute it was better to ask upfront, that way they could think about it and plan ahead. I think at first D1 and her fiancee were not comfortable to have that talk, but I said it was better to ask 1 year ahead rather than wait until last minute.
I am a planner and I like to budget. I wouldn’t be happy if someone were to ask me to pay $$$$ at the last minute.
So here’s a last-minute WWYD for you: our venue is 40 minutes from civilization (by which I mean hotels). We contracted and paid for 2 55-passenger motorcoaches to get guests back and forth from our 2 designated wedding hotels. It looks as if one bus will have about 45 passengers on it. But the other will have at most 23 passengers that I know of (meaning guests who have registered at that hotel). Would you call the bus company and see about getting a minicoach instead at this late date (i.e., 5 days out)? I’d be doing that only to give folks on the minicoach a more comfortable experience, because I think it could feel weird to be on a nearly deserted bus. Which might easily happen, if 5 or 6 couples decide to drive instead of taking the bus. As I said, it’s already paid for and I wouldn’t expect the bus company to adjust the price, but sometimes bigger isn’t better.
This brings up the issue of guests who choose to stay at the designated hotel but don’t use the wedding price code, or who decide to stay elsewhere. They may have found a better rate, but you don’t know who’s staying where, so you can’t guess how many people might use the bus. It’s possible that some folks might stay nearby, park in the designated hotel’s lot, and take the bus but drive to their own hotel later; we have one person doing that, I know. I’m worried that if I make the switch to a 25-passenger minicoach, somehow 28 people could show up to get on the bus.
Our venue has lodging for members of the wedding party, so there’s a bunch I don’t have to worry about. What do you wedding mavens say? Would it be a downer to be almost alone on a huge bus, or should I move on to worrying about something else?
do you have more than 110 peopled invited (and RSVPd to the wedding) staying in or around the hotels, or you don’t know where they are staying? If so, leave the big bus. Direct people over to that hotel to take that bus. There may be friends of friends who are staying elsewhere but know that there will be a bus from the hotel.
I’d worry about something else, especially if you think there might be more people using the bus than you’ve accounted for. And guests might not mind having extra room to stretch out on the bus if it’s only half full.
I would leave the bigger bus. This is for future wedding planners…I would ask guests if they would require transportation so you could plan ahead. I have seen that on few wedding sites - check off which event you will be attending and if you require transportation.
Our kids’ website does not have the capacity for check off items, so I’ve told them they will need to contact everyone who’s coming (they have the email list from the electronic save the dates) and get a reasonably accurate number before we book the busses. I’m prepared to pay for the transportation, what I don’t want are empty busses or not enough seats.
We blocked off hotel rooms at a hotel right across the street from the wedding venue. No bus.
I looked and looked…and really, in pirmarea, all of the hotels cost about the same. This one has the convenience factor…so I blocked off what I think are sufficient rooms for the out of town guests…and us.
Maybe some folks will opt to stay at other hotels that are a lot farther away…but that will be their choice. They won’t get “goodie bags” either…because I’m not driving around the whole state!!
move on. If my transportation was a large bus even with 12 others I would just think that
this was what was available. I would never think it was weird or bad. MOVE ON <:-P
Our issue is that the venue is a borough away from the hotel The ceremony and reception are in the same place! Once we get everyone there, no one needs to go anywhere for the entire evening.
I went to a wedding last weekend where the church ceremony was about 10 miles from the reception site. There was a note with the invitations letting people know there would be transportation from the church to the reception. One old time trolley type bus made two trips to get all the guests to the reception. H and I and our D along with two friends were in the second pick-up. There were 10 or so people in the trolley. It was fine–didn’t seem weird at all.
My S and his fiancé have finally picked a date. They are ready to put down the deposit and have asked us if we would put down half of the deposit. We have offered them a lump sum for the wedding. I’m comfortable with that. We did not want to cover the whole deposit as we want them to plan accordingly and spend along the way. They have plans over the next year to save a good amount for the wedding. I’m happy that they have already saved some in order to pay half of the deposit now. This venue requires the entire site fee to reserve the date. @jym626 They are going with the redwood venue. After looking at a lot of places they kept coming back to that spot.
The venue will be a destination wedding for everyone. Driving distance but it will still be some logistics in having a wedding not where you live. Ironically we live in an area where a lot of folks have destination weddings. My H can’t wrap his head around why they can’t find a venue they like in our area.
At my son’s wedding, the bride’s family hired a bus from hotel to church, church back to hotel and from hotel to reception and back. I was assured numerous times by the MOB that the bus will make a couple of trips from reception back to hotel because I made known to her that we had older guests who would probably like to leave the reception earlier.
On wedding day, the bus driver announced on the bus that he would only make one trip from reception back to hotel.
Since I wasn’t on the bus, I wasn’t aware of this situation until my guests wanted to leave and were told they had to wait for everyone…at 11:30PM.
I had to call cabs and arrange carpools at the reception…not fun.
I’m so glad my daughter’s wedding is going to be at a hotel, with the ceremony and reception in the same location.
Until I saw the discussion above, I hadn’t realized that “transportation” was something families planning weddings had to think about. We haven’t needed to think about it at all.
The ceremony and reception are in the same place! Once we get everyone there, no one needs to go anywhere for the entire evening.