H and I had 4 each. I am still best friends with my MOH, and he is still best friends with his BM. Of the other 3 in my party, I am very good friends with 2 lo these 34+ years later. The final one was a friend from high school and college, but she & I drifted apart later in life (after kids). Of the other 3 groomsmen, H is very close to 1, stays in touch with another (difficult for him to get away from his home life between work & taking care of the needs of a severely disabled child), and does not see but Facebooks & holds close in his heart the final one (best friend from growing up).
About having sibs in the wedding party: my much married brother’s various wives included me as a bridesmaid until I this latest, younger bride. She didn’t say it this way, but I think I was not invited to be a bridesmaid because I am older than her mother!
I had my sister as MOH, husband’s little sister as a “junior bridesmaid”, a best friend from growing up, and two college room-mates/sorority sisters. I lost track of one of the college friends pretty soon after graduation, and the other is just a “Christmas card” type friend now. I text my sister daily and my SIL about once a week. So in my experience, family has remained close while friends moved on. YMMV.
DS has been asked by FSIL to be in the wedding party…BUT DS is also going to be the musician for the ceremony. DD asked FSIL’s sister to be in the wedding as well…but there is a question as to whether she will be able to,do,so (she will be at the wedding…but lives out of the country, and may not be in the wedding party).
When we got married, none of my sisters was in our wedding…and none of DHs siblings were either. We each had a best friend.
I don’t think there are any hard and fast rules.
I wasn’t in my sister’s huge wedding (I’m the only one who loves out of town)…but I was asked to do a reading…and that was a nice honor as well.
At my sister’s wedding her bridesmaids were her college room mates. She didn’t ask her sisters to be part of the wedding and it was an evening wedding at church. The wedding took place at the groom’s hometown with a tent reception in the backyard afterwards. A few weeks later we had another reception at the brides parents town. (my parents)
H and I are still friends with the couple who was in our wedding (37 years ago). We see them at least once or twice a year. In fact, we went to their daughter’s wedding in June.
I don’t see my brother that often. We call each other on our birthdays and Christmas, but that’s it. We live 1,000 miles apart and I am the one who always visits because my sister-in-law is incredibly cheap and won’t spend money on travel. I had to pay for their airfare so that they could attend my daughter’s wedding.
For those of you who married decades ago and had friends as attendants instead of siblings, are you still very close with those friends all these years later? >>
I had four friends, plus my sister as attendants. I’m still close to two of the four, one has passed and I lost touch with the other about 20 years later.
I feel like I have to go back and challenge this. You are talking about a period that could extend 50-60 years. When I was first involved with my wife, we were in our early 20s and living in California; her oldest sister was a 30-something professor who split her time between Toronto and Northwest Territories. Of course I didn’t have much of a relationship with her or her boyfriend. Forty years later, they (and their 30-something children) are incredibly important people in my life.
Now, of course, none of that depended on whether she was my wife’s MOH. However, siblings and siblings-in-law have to deal with one another in a constructive and loving way when all sorts of challenges arise, including the senescence and death of their parents. I don’t think it’s a bad idea to communicate that they ARE in a relationship that’s important, whether or not they feel it yet.
They are no longer among my very closest friends, but 2 of 3 traveled a long way to come to my 60th birthday party (out of maybe 15 non-relatives there) and will be at my son’s wedding, too. I last spent time with the third and his wife a couple of years ago.
That’s very true over the course of their lives, I hope, but what I meant was that prior to the wedding they probably won’t have much opportunity to build a relationship to make them comfortable/obvious choices to be in the bridal party on their own.
@zoosermom in my opinion…it depends.
If the bridal party is huge…like 10 attendants each…then it seems like those siblings should be asked.
If it’s small…then maybe it’s not such an issue.
And as I said…there are plenty of other ways for these siblings to be involved in the wedding ceremony…a reading, music, handing out the programs, etc.
Thumper, I have no opinion either way. I was just curious about what other people do, especially since my D and her BF are local to each other and have such different expectations!
I am still close to both of the friends whose weddings I was an attendant in, as well as the two sisters whose weddings I was an attendant. One if these friends lives in LA and my kids listed them as their college emergency contact. The other lives in NM but comes to visit family on Oahu regularly and we connect as often as we can.
H and his best man as still very close friends as well and have been for many, many decades.
My MOH became my SIL. Even after she dumped my brother for VERY good reasons, she is still welcomed and treasured in our family. She is there for all our major life events, including when my mom passed away and said brother remarried. We tend to like her better than my brother…
DH’s best man (good friend from HS debate and college) stayed in touch, drifted away for about 20 years after DH stopped judging at tournaments, and then reconnected about two years ago when their debate coach passed away. BM recently married his long time partner.
I was in 3 weddings and I am still good friends with all brides. One was my sister, one is godmother to my second daughter (her wedding was 20 years ago yesterday), and a high school friend.
Oh gosh, did not expect wedding dress shopping to be so hard. I fell in love with two dresses today and keep going back and forth between them. One is a poofy ballgown and one is a classic / sleeker look. I’m showing all my friends, some like A, some like B, I’m stuck in the middle. They’re both so different!
Figured I’d update with something on the happy side of frustrating this time 
@rebeccar can you go and try on those two dresses again? Like in a few days? Sometimes some time makes the decision more clear.
Also, keep in mind the weather and temperatures when you will be having the wedding and reception, that made my choice very clear. I chose the lightest, coolest dress because the air-conditioner was broken when I was trying on the dresses and it made me remember the church has NO air-conditioning and I was marrying in late May. I was cool and comfortable, tho the other dresses were also lovely they were heavier and would have been hotter.
Rebeccar, try to think of what you like. Don’t consider how the in-laws or others will view the dress. This is one decisions that is yours to make. Just you.
We know a gal that had a lot of gal friends that went through pharmacy school with her - she had 13 bridesmaids. Down the road we may see how ‘close’ she stays with them…
DD2 (only sibling) was MOH and helped DD1 keep bridesmaids to 3 very close friends. Groom has one sibling, a brother who was best man. Groom had a number of close friends as other groomsmen (2 more than # of bridesmaids).
I had my two sisters and my two close friends as bridesmaids - both my friends died from medical issues; one from brittle diabetes at age 27, and the other had a brain aneurysm in her late 30’s. H had his 3 brothers and his college room-mate as groomsmen; we keep up with C-mas letters with his college room-mate.
Agree with all the varying thoughts and comments.
I believe @rebeccar you are accommodating and maybe don’t have a ‘vision’ of what wedding dress is really ‘the one’. DD truly fell in love with the one she chose. You also have a lot of other ‘issues’ going on, which hopefully will resolve one by one. Sounds like some thought and time can pass for you to maybe get ‘the feeling’ for the right one.
@rebeccar, picking a wedding dress isn’t like picking a husband. There doesn’t have to be a one-and-only. Some people have a big “this is it” moment; some don’t.
For a Jewish ceremony, you walk down the aisle with both your parents, right? That might be an argument in favor of the sleeker dress. It could be a bit crowded in that aisle with three people and the poofy dress (especially if your mother’s dress is poofy, too).