rebeccar, we had the same problem with my daughter and two dresses. She waited a week and re-shopped. She found the perfect dress with no qualms. It was a third dress entirely.
rebeccar, my daughter never found the “perfect dress,” but she did find a dress she really liked. She claims her fiance is perfect - the dress doesn’t need to be. :x
D2 and I went dress shopping with D1. There was only one dress that 3 of us loved. D1 didn’t ask for anyone else’s opinion.
Zoosermom, my D had the same experience as yours. Liked two dresses, couldn’t decide, waited a bit then tried another shop where she found her dress. The dress she chose was not only different from the earlier two, but entirely different from what she thought she wanted. She just had her first fitting and loves it even more now.
Well, rehearsal dinner invitations are out, bus transportation continues be a bug in my bonnet, and we have reached a 30 day countdown clock! I am having my dress fitted today and, hopefully, my D will find something to wear tomorrow.
Sometimes, it helps reach a decision by playing it both ways. Imagine you ordered dress A. What’s your gut feel? (Why did I settle? Wistful thoughts of the other? Or relieved delight?) Then imagine it was B you chose, no turning back. Hoes that feel?
'Course, sometimes it’s really neither and you do need to head back out.
Things are a blur for me right now…
D & FSIL are a week out - oh my!
Decision was made today that my Dad will not be attending due to health concerns. I’m sad that he will not be there–he has been such a proud Grandpa and so looking forward to the wedding.
But I’m also feeling guilty to say that I’m relieved he won’t be making the trip. He is not very mobile (and fell at a wedding earlier this year) and my siblings were going to be in charge of traveling with him and getting him to all the festivities…but I still would have been worrying about him the whole weekend.
And today is my Grandfather’s funeral. Celebrating a long, wonderful life. While he wouldn’t have been attending the wedding, I know he would have been tickled to see all the pictures.
The Circle of Life…
@gosmom the grands here were unable to attend a wedding a couple of years ago…same thing…health issues. One of the siblings did a video of the ceremony whochnwas able to be sent asap. We wanted to do FaceTime. But MIL couldn’t get it together to do that.
My job was to send photos…which I did. Not a lot…but just enough that they could get a feel for the event.
Like you…the family had mixed feelings.
We are 10 months away from our wedding…and truthfully…having my MIL attend will be difficult. Distance, timing, length of event, etc. we hope it works out…and the siblings will be dealing with her…because we won’t be able to.
Our daughter got married on Sunday. It was a beautiful wedding and a fantastic weekend with family and friends. I have gotten so much helpful information from this thread as we were going through the planning process, I thought I should share some of how things went. The bride and groom are both from the Midwest but moved to the Seattle area several years ago, where the wedding was held. About 80% of the guests were from the Midwest and they all added a little time to the beginning or end of their trip to sightsee in the area. It was a relatively small wedding, 110 people.
Because we had a Sunday wedding (venue is booked well over year in advance for Saturdays), the rehearsal was on Saturday morning before the Saturday wedding got set up. The groom’s parents then hosted a lovely rehearsal brunch afterwards. That evening, the kids (bride and groom) hosted a Welcome Dinner cookout at a local state park. This was the only part of the wedding festivities that I thought D was shockingly unprepared for. I think that because we have hosted so many (hundreds, at least!) cookouts at our house over the years, that she kind of thought it was no big deal and didn’t require much planning. That’s true when it’s in your backyard and the grocery store is only a mile away. It’s a different story when it’s at a location nowhere near where anyone lives so no means of any refrigeration beforehand. It all worked out fine – it wasn’t fancy at all, H and I did a run to Costco a couple hours before the cookout to pick up all the meat, cheese, refrigerated sides, etc. If the local Costco didn’t have it, we didn’t serve it. Non-perishables had been purchased the day before. Since alcohol is prohibited at the park, that made drinks simpler. We had Coke, Diet Coke, and water. People drank lots of water. Everyone seemed to have a great time – it was a beautiful park and it was a lot of fun to see all the family and friends in a very casual atmosphere. There were about 80 people at the cookout, so we kept everything pretty simple. We had way too many leftover sides – unopened veggie trays, leftover salads, etc, but did a fairly accurate job guessing the amount of meat needed so not too much left over.
The wedding was amazing and everything the bride and groom had hoped for. The venue was gorgeous with so many flowers and a spectacular setting right on the water. We were blessed with beautiful weather and Mt. Rainier was visible. A team of 3 did hair and make-up in the hotel we were staying at and they were very good and very efficient. The wedding coordinator was worth her weight in gold with all the behind the scenes things she took care of and all the help she provided. It really let all of us enjoy the day and focus on the event and our guests without having to take care of details or issues. She had two assistants with her who also worked hard (I think one may have been in training as we weren’t expecting 2 assistants). She was onsite for the rehearsal Saturday morning and helped make sure everything was going to flow properly. She showed up Sunday morning when hair and make-up started at 10:00 am then headed to the venue after a bit to get things going there. We last saw her when she knocked on our hotel door at 12:45 am (early Monday morning at this point) to drop off gifts, cards, and all the stuff that had to be hauled from the venue. That is a really long day! So I don’t think she really pays herself enough if you consider the hours she put in.
They did a “First Look” and got many photos, including family photos, prior to the wedding. The ceremony itself was lovely and all the flowers were gorgeous and the view was spectacular. Cocktail hour was great, the reception was a lot of fun with great food. The bride and groom stepped out for a bit with the photographer for sunset photos but weren’t gone long. There was a bonfire on the beach and s’mores turned out to be a huge hit. We all got a kick out of my 85 year old great aunt toasting her marshmallows and thoroughly enjoying her s’more. I wasn’t sure how many people would venture out since it made those fancy clothes all smell like a campfire, but it was definitely popular. The DJ was good and the dancing was fun.
There were many small touches in the wedding that were very much a reflection of the bride and groom. They are huge outdoors people and that was evident. As an example, there were no table numbers. Instead the tables were named for National Parks – we were at the Olympic National Park table. There were beautiful centerpieces, but in addition, they had small wooden signs the groom made with each of the national park logos identifying the tables and they laid out photos (in plastic sleeves) on each of the tables of their visits to the parks. So it was fun to walk around and look at the different tables and see pictures of the parks and of the bride and groom at those parks (all the tables were named for parks they had personally visited as a couple). Plenty of other things that were very representative of their personalities. The cake topper came from Etsy and was a cute figurine custom made that looked just like them in their hiking gear (they sent her photos – she replicated D’s long braid that she wears when they are hiking, SIL’s bright red hair, the color of their backpacks and so on – it really looked a lot like them!).
(In case you are wondering – although they are huge outdoors people, they have real jobs. SIL is a software developer at Microsoft and D is an actuary at a consulting firm)
We did not do gift bags – the resort right near the venue that many of us stayed at was pretty expensive, but we also had rooms booked at a nearby hotel that was more affordable. Quite a few groups booked at different AirBnb options also. So with people all over the place, the logistics of getting gift bags to people seemed like a big hassle. Nobody seemed to miss gift bags so I’m glad we didn’t mess with this.
We hosted a Farewell breakfast on Monday morning at the resort and it was lovely. It was a great way to wind things down and see everyone one last time. We had 72 people RSVP that they were attending, but we had some no-shows. That’s not too surprising since it had been a late night and most people had plans for the day. It was offset a little by some who asked if they could come even though they had originally said no (of course everyone was welcome!). I think we ended up with around 65 people who attended – mildly annoying to pay for a pretty expensive breakfast buffet for the no-shows, but that’s OK – it was a lovely breakfast and again beautiful weather.
My first post was too long…
There were only a couple glitches and nothing major. Once I was escorted down the aisle and after H gave away the bride, we sat down and noticed that we had no idea who the rest of the people sitting in our row were beside our other SIL. It turned out that similarly the FOG and MOG had no idea who the people were that were sitting with them. We got a good laugh out of the fact that the usher who seated all of them had no idea who they were and seated them based on instructions from the groom. The groom told his aunts and uncles that they should sit in the front row on the left and that the brides aunts and uncles should sit on the right. So he got it backwards, but it was all fine – just funny at the time.
The only other glitch is that the bride and groom forgot the top tier of their wedding cake in their hotel room. When they realized it later in the day after leaving the resort, it had already been pitched. They were disappointed, but got over it very quickly. MIL, on the other hand was horrified. She is a big traditionalist and I think she probably believes the marriage will expire on their first anniversary if they don’t eat that top layer. I would not be the slightest bit surprised if she has already made arrangements with the bakery to send them a replacement top layer, she was pretty obsessed with trying to “fix” this.
Thank you to those who helped me out on the MOB dress thread. I loved my dress - I felt great and got lots of compliments. 
Sorry this has turned out to be so long! I hope it is somewhat helpful for those of you in the planning process.
Terrific! It sounds like it was the wedding everyone hoped it would be…enjoyed by all.
Were you the one who wanted the blue Tommy Hilfiger dress? Which dress was yours!?
@C3Baker Congratulations. I loved reading all the details about everything that was planned for the wedding. I love small intimate weddings as you really get to meet everyone and it sounds like it was a lot of fun not only for the guests but for the bride and groom as well. I wouldn’t worry too much about the top layer of the wedding cake. On their first anniversary they can have a fresh cake and celebrate. Sounds like there was a lot for the guests to do and see if they added days for touring around. I loved the idea of having smores and the naming of the tables after parks vs having the table numbers. I wish the newlywed couple a lifetime of happiness.
@C3Baker , thank you for sharing your family’s wedding. I appreciate everyone who comes back to this thread to share their experiences and have learned so much from them. Best wishes to the happy couple!
I love how al the earlier concerns turn to delight. Congrats to all who just had weddings. To those with upcoming events, enjoy!
Congratulations! Thanks for sharing. Love to hear all the details.
@thumper1 - I wasn’t the Tommy Hilfiger dress, I have forgotten who wanted that. I can’t post a link to my dress because a week after I picked it up, Alfred Angelo filed for bankruptcy and their website has been shut down. I was so lucky that I got my dress before they suddenly closed their doors!
Whew. @C3Baker glad you got that dress.
Really…the wedding sounds wonderful. Thank you for sharing!
C3Baker, did they get the cake topper from a woman in Israel? It sounds like what S and DIL got for their cake. I cried when it arrived at the house.
@C3Baker - congrats!!! We made sure the weather would be good for you!
@C3Baker Thanks for sharing all the wonderful details. It sounds like a fantastic time. Would you mind sending me a PM with the name of the venue?