You are confusing the issue. You are depositing into YOUR accounts with YOUR names on them.
Banks do not any longer accept third party checks…and as noted above…if the AND person is not on the account, the check cannot be deposited into THAT account.
Actually, I’m not as my example mentioned checks made out to names not on the account. Plus,banking policies obviously differ. This isn’t a governmental rule for banks. It’s risk management driven policy. Sounds like you daughter’s bank has hard ass policies. However, I’ll refrain from further posts on this topic of check cashing.
https://firstquarterfinance.com/list-of-banks-that-accept-third-party-checks/
https://firstquarterfinance.com/where-can-i-cash-a-two-party-check/
My daughter, married 2 years ago, had no trouble depositing checks at home. As she and he husband live in the UK, she has always left her US checking account opened. Her husband’s name is not on the account, although they have joint and individual accounts in the UK. As the wedding was in the US, the friends and family that wrote checks to the couple we all deposited into her US account. If written as bride AND groom, they both endorsed the check; if it was in my daughter’s maiden name she signed her maiden name, if her married name, that is how she signed it. I was actually the one who made the deposits for her as they left after the wedding.
I am sure this will depend on the bank or branch you bank with, but no issue with our local Wells Fargo.
This is a good write up on 2 party checks.
https://www.thebalance.com/endorse-checks-payable-to-multiple-people-315299
I will say that if they violate the bank’s policy and their auditors catch, there will be an issue for the branch. I also think most banks signers on check electronic transactions (ATM) over a certain dollar threshold. My bank has a cap on phone deposits, too, so you can’t deposit really large checks or too many smaller ones that way within a 30 day period.
And saying Wells took them isn’t exactly a ringing endorsement for banking policy these days. 
Check the Dodd-Frank Act. In many cases, it is.
It’s not the internal auditors that they worry about, but the government supervising agency. @thumper1 's daughter may be at a bank supervised by an agency that has dinged them on this. The ‘too big to fail’ banks might not care because they, well, are too big to fail so do whatever they want. There are several ways to deal with it (add some a/k/a’s to the account, add the new SIL to one account, open a new account, go to the bank where the check was drawn against with both bride and groom) but @thumper1 found one that works for them (ask for a new check).
Raising my glass to @oldfort and family
Yes, hoping for a wonderful event for @oldfort and her family.
Yes! Cheers to the @oldfort family!!
Wishing @oldfort and her family a wonderful day.
Re checks: Isn’t the simplest solution for the bride or groom to call or e-mail the person who sent the check and say “Thank you so much for the check. Unfortunately, we can’t cash it because it’s made out to __________ . Our bank says they can only cash checks made out to __________ or _____________ .”
Most people would be happy to send you another check, made out in a way that is acceptable to the bank.
On another topic: I’m thinking about @oldfort and her family, too. The university campus where oldfort’s daughter is getting married is my alma mater and my daughter’s, so I can almost picture the wedding (though not, perhaps, the elaborate nature of it – I think their flower bill is more than the cost of my daughter’s entire wedding last year). Anyway, I hope everything is wonderful.
I often signed DH’s name and my kids have signed checks made to me, to deposit. i figured, when there’s no fraud intended, so be it. But I agree you’d need the name to match the account.
Or bring the marriage license?
Not to beat a dead horse, but the bank is wary because the check is made out to two people jointly with the “and”. They want to make sure that one of the two parties isn’t just taking the money and putting it into an account that the other party can’t get to. If they don’t have a joint account, then I’d suggest if possible that both go to the branch and take their marriage license and IDs with them. The bank should help them with endorsement and depositing in one of their accounts (or opening a joint account).
We have dealt with the check issue. @Marian we contacted the ten people who wrote checks that could not be deposited and all agreed to send new ones.
Let’s get back to the topic of weddings. I only posted this as an FYI…
This weekend is @oldfort wedding time. Let’s all celebrate that!!
Went to the wedding a childhood friend’s son yesterday. It was a happy celebration and great timing a week before DD’s. Got us in the mood while providing the reminder that while all weddings are different, they are all the same. When the couples are beaming and the families are happy and excited, the rest of the details are only background. We are ready to trade the spreadsheets in for party shoes; mine are flats.
Can’t wait to hear about oldfort’s weekend.
Exciting week for you and your family, @travelnut! Best wishes to all!
Great article about being the Mother of the Bride, from today’s New York Times:
I come from a non-monetary gift tradition. The question about bank accounts would never have even occurred to me!
No end of potentially useful info one can pick up here.
Now, if only S and GF would get engaged! 
(Her mother and I both kept our own names, and I would expect she would too, should the blessed day ever come to be, LOL!)
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You never know. It’s a very personal thing. My daughter took her husband’s name, which surprised me. But she didn’t want to be the odd person out in the family if they have children, and she didn’t like her maiden name anyway. I didn’t hear about any problems with checks. Most of the family members who might have sent them instead of buying a gift off the registry are from her husband’s family, so they probably just made the checks out to him.
My D, who is getting married in Sept, hasn’t decided whether to keep her last name or not. I didn’t, stuck with my maiden name. (Which made my MIL and my parents nuts) Her fiancé’s parents aren’t the type to care if she does or not, and her fiancé is very accommodating (think Bingley in Pride & Prejudice, and you have D1’s fiancé). Her last name (same as her dad’s) is unusual and Germanic, has to be spelled every time she says it. But she has professional accomplishments with it as well. Her fiancé has a pretty common Irish last name, although I’m pretty sure she would still have to spell that for people as well. I suppose people might ask me if they plan to give checks or monogram – I haven’t talked to her about it lately, so might bring it up again.
On another front, I ordered myself some Boll & Branch sheets a few weeks ago, and absolutely LOVE them. They are so soft! I think I might give a set to D as a shower present. Not on her registry (she has some less expensive sheets on there) but I know their bed size. They are extravagant and worth it. 
Speaking of names, I was surprised by my daughter’s choice when she married almost two years ago. Every female in both my family, my husband’s family and almost every friend of ours, went with the husband’s last name and made their middle name their maiden name. My daughter decided to drop her maiden name all together and kept her middle name the name we gave her. She said she liked her middle name and we chose it for a reason!!
While I was surprised, as I truly didn’t know anyone to go this route, it didn’t matter to me. I think my husband was just a bit sad that she didn’t keep her given last name as her middle name, but he got over it quickly. He just sees it as a lose of the family name, although my son’s wife uses my son’s last name so we have at least another generation!!