I do think we can speak with them. But it needs serious “sandwich technique.” Something complimentary, the request to consider a change, then something complimentary. Or rather than the change, just, “Did you think about the golf theme for your first dance, people will have eyes on you, not the bridesmaids?”
@intparent, I understand your desire for the couple not to use the processional music because you (and, as you mentioned, others in attendance, as well) associate it with a golf tournament, but I have to say from an uneducated ear, that piece sounds extremely elegant, especially when the strings come in. However, this is coming from a mother whose S and DIL included references to camping mishaps and crazy families in their vows, that penguin story during the readings, and a rock music recessional, in their pretty traditional and very elegant Jewish wedding - at a zoo. Perhaps my perspective is a bit warped?!
Sure, to people who don’t golf. But the golfers will listen, and honestly — I think they’ll smirk. Not what they should be going for in the processional.
Might they not think it a nice acknowledgment of your FSIL’s interest in golf?
I would think the golfers would totally love that their sport…which FSIL loves, has a song suitable for a processional.
But even those golfers won’t give two hoots about this music once the bride walks down the aisle.
@intparent could you tell us about some of the other parts of the wedding? Describe the beautiful venue, bride’s dress, your dress, food, etc.
Let’s move on to the cheerier parts of this wedding. One song just isn’t worth all this time.
We had 2 years to plan D1’s wedding. It gave us a chance to “agree” on everything. D1 & groom wanted a non-traditional venue (museum, outdoor) and I wanted a temperature controlled venue. We looked at 20+ places until we found one both of us liked. The groom side was religious (Catholic) and we were not, so we found a place that looked like a church (but not) . The only sticky point was the invitation. D1 wanted her father on the invitation, but I was not so keen on it (we were divorced). I gave in because I knew it would make D1 happy. D1 discussed and asked for my opinion on every detail of the wedding. I didn’t put my foot down on too many things. The only thing I asked for was to play few Springsteen songs. 
The groom was trying to limit me, but he ended up by playing one of my favorite songs. He also surprised me by asking me to dance during the father/daughter dance. He is a good SIL.
I’ll stop taking about it.
I would find a way to talk to your daughter about it.
IMO, if it is brought up at this point, then someone will probably be unhappy. They chose this song for this part of the ceremony for a reason. If it comes up now, this close to the ceremony, D and FSIL may feel pressured to make a change to something they are comfortable with and may be unhappy. If @intparent brings up her feelings and they don’t change the decision, then intparent may feel badly. It seems like a no-win situation if addressed now. JMO.
Update from the Mario wedding: “Luigi and Daisy” just announced that they are expecting!
Regarding music, I was disappointed with the DJ at our son’s wedding last year. They used a DJ company, and apparently when asked if she wanted an “MC” or someone to just play music, the bride said, “just play music.” B&G chose songs from a playlist to try to satisfy all ages/tastes. The list was sorted by types of music/eras and the guy (honestly, I think it was his first day as a DJ) played all the Sinatra and Elvis songs, then all the Polkas, then all the 80s songs, then all the country music, etc. without mixing it up at all. It was weird. He also must have lost his place because he played the same song (an 80s song I dislike) twice. People still had fun, but…
They also had a string quartet during dinner. Unfortunately it was right near our table and my dad (in his 80s and hard of hearing) was having trouble following the conversation. His back was to the quartet and he blurted out rather loudly, “Why doesn’t someone turn that darn music down?!”
A future little Toadsworth or Princess Peach, eh @atomom??
@intparent…will you already be seated for the processional…or walking your D down the aisle? You probably won’t even hear the song. I’m in the camp of thinking it’s lovely for your future SIL and somewhat elegant as well .
FWIW, at least at our venue…a buffet was not more economical than plated. And a buffet does not speak “elegant” to me.
Dark blue: My D’s bridesmaids had navy…photos were gorgeous.
I"m betting that after the event, you will be gushing about how wonderful everything was! Try to enjoy this magical time…it goes so fast!
@intparent I may be the minority but if it was me I would talk to my D about how I felt about the music. What she chooses to do will be up to her but at least you voiced your opinion. If I was MOG I would keep my opinion to myself.
I’m finding it much easier being the MOB. My D and I don’t always agree but I feel comfortable expressing how I feel about an issue. With my S and his fiancé I’m finding I have to be careful what I say.
D1 tried to her MIL involved, but for some reason she kind of stayed out of it. I don’t know if it was because she felt uncomfortable to say anything. At one point D1 actually felt like the MIL didn’t care.
It’s hard for me, as a future MOG, to not care. There are many aspects that I will stay away from. For example, I’m not going out with them to see the venues.
I know I’ve had more experience planning big parties. I did my parents 50”th , but let them chose the DJ.
For son’s bar mitzvah, my mom and I had fun going over the details. We narrowed down the women making the centerpieces and invitations, but son had final,say. He chose his suit and wrote every word of his speech. He even came to final,choice of flowers. He was asked if he wanted a cappuccino bar or an ice cream sundae bar, and he chose the latter. I picked the professional piano,player/d.j.
By now, the kids have been to many wedding of their peers. They know what they like, e.g a picture booth. I’m sure they have some special touches they want to incorporate. Their former roommate has been ordained and will preside. I hope they include some Jewish aspects into the ceremony, but this is son’s choice.
I’d be thrilled f navy was the theme color. It is elegant and looks well on everyone.
I guess what intparent and oldfort are saying, is that we should feel free to express opinions, but not get miffed if the couple has their own reasons for doing something another way.
@intparent, I love the hobbit theme. I will never forget it playing over the first shots of The Shire and my exclaiming–quietly --to my son, “It’s exactly the way I’ve always imagined it!” But frankly, it does not have the pizzazz I would expect in a recessional. It would make a lovely processional, though.
The Masters music is totally blah to me. I’d never recognize it again. It certainly doesn’t sound like a processional. But I noted lots of rapturous comments from golf lovers on the YouTube site, including a guy who said he wanted his future bride to walk down the aisle to it!
Are they planning to use recorded music only?
Maybe that guy is my future SIL… I’m going to be in town with them next weekend, and am going to ask them to sit down and go over all the details with me. And good lord — I’m not going to suggest they move the hobbit music to the processional. (But did you find the “Concerming Hobbits” song in particular? It is jaintier than the shire music — I think it could be used as the recessional). And they are using some music from the Jane Austen movies while guests are seated —I think that is okay, a light baroque flavor.
Yes, they are just using recorded music.
@atomom, that sounds like a 9 yr old’s birthday party, not the wedding of two adults! OMG on the disorganization and furor!!
@toledo, the set-up you describe sounds as if it will be pure congestion, and few people will be able to make the effort to battle their way to the table, even if they are hungry. For a short cocktail “hour” that is roughly half an hour I would strongly suggest having 2 or 3 passed hors d’oeuvres, adding up to 2 or 3 bites per person. I’d forget the cheese and crackers and cruditees. That kind of thing is good filler for long cocktail receptions. If you do choose to have them, just do cruditees with an interesting pair or trio of dip and have a couple of small round tables around the room that people can easily approach from all sides, away from the bar. Actually, for such a short cocktail hour and so many people, I would limit the bar and have servers circulating with sparkling wine. There’s no way a bartender is going to be able to serve mixed drinks and the like to 120 people in half an hour and give them enough time to enjoy it!
What is the cup made of in the brie and bacon cups? What is the filling of the crispy salami cups? Although not exciting, I’d pick the caprese skewers to have something vegetarian (unless you do the cruditees) and low carb/likely gluten free, and probably the crispy salami cups (especially if they are filled with goat cheese 
). The bruschetta for a third thing. IIRC, you already have a lot of steak on the menu(s).
My other daughter’s processional was The Last Goodbye from The Hobbit. It had a particular meaning for them and sounded lovely.
I had some questions/concerns about that daughter’s wedding - it was VERY specific. But when it all came together, it was so unique and special and totally them that I finally got it. She is an architectural historian and the wedding was visually stunning. She was right and I was wrong. She is very close to her MIL and tried to include in her in a lot of things, but the MIL wasn’t interested. She is just not into weddings and such, but if they ever renovate their home, she will be there with a chainsaw, so to each her own.
The D whose wedding is upcoming is more about the experience than about the visuals - they’re just different people. She is having cookies and hot chocolate in the church parlor for the entire congregation between the ceremony and reception. It will be a warm and friendly wedding. My son is playing the favorite Christmas carol for each bridesmaid as she comes down the aisle. The one for the MOH (my other daughter) will be a jazzy version of “You’re a Sly One Mr. Grinch” which will be totally fitting. I’m curious who will pick up on it. The PBK won’t be seating me because he will be playing me down, as well, but my darling son-in-law will escort me, so I feel doubly blessed.
My daughter felt very strongly that she didn’t want Here Comes the Bride or the other standard music choices for the processional and recessional.
We both like classical music, and I had more time to check out options than she did, so I collected a bunch of YouTube clips of possible processional and recessional music for her to consider, and she picked two selections from Vivaldi’s Four Seasons, which I thought were very appropriate.
I don’t remember a single note of the music from the wedding. If I listen to that music now, it doesn’t bring back memories of the wedding because I have no memory of hearing it.