Monopoly pricing.
My D is getting married a year from this Oct. We have the church, venue and photographer. D fiancé is very religious so the church music will be very religious. (Catholic). the church is very particular about all the music and singers etc… I f you want a different singer then they must submit a tape
I don’t think I would have recognized the golf music but my H would have. I do like it.
My D asks her MIL much more than I expected. But the way I look at it, is that she is at the beginning of a family relationship. It does help that I like her future MIL and she seems like a really reasonable person.
Our venue is doing the food. I think it will be good.
Is there any opinion on DJ vs Band?. I don’t really care. I have been to weddings for both and liked them the same.
And then perhaps to a different venue, if you’re required to use this caterer.
ETA: This was in response to @toldeo in Post #6940.
It sounds like you haven’t signed a contract. I would suggest you find a different venue. That has a better situation
DDs wedding was Saturday. The only glitches were forgetting the rings at the venue where they dressed and had first look, but it was only 15 minutes from the church and the deacon just laughed. Ceremony started 10 minutes late. And my dad walked my stepmom down the aisle and forgot to come back for me. I grabbed my son-in-law, who was one of the groomsmen to walk me down at the last second. We actually kept to the timeline and everyone kept commenting how calm everything was. I guess that’s what you get when the bride is an event planner herself.
I would love to go with a band, but the few times I’ve seen them at weddings, they were way too loud. DJs can control the volume much better.
We have already signed with the venue, so there may not be much I can do at this point. Let this be a warning to others to find out ALL the catering costs before signing. I’m sure we looked at a menu, but service charges and quantity nonsense wasn’t mentioned.
toledo - would all that have been in the contract you signed?
Also, if you have to lose your deposit but wind up with a more reasonable caterer, it might be worth it. It depends on how much the deposit is.
We did a buffet for S1 and DIL (as in cooked it ourselves). Three entrees (one vegetarian), four sides and salad bar. We cooked enough of each to feed 60% of the attendees and still had lots of leftovers. We ordered 150% of RSVPs for cupcakes, and that was not enough (they didn’t want cake, but we also had a trifle, cobbler and cookies).
No way a facility should have to make 100% of every option.
The per person cost (for food/service) at the venue for my S’s wedding included a stationary crudité/breadstick type table and 6 passed hors d’oeuvres, a plated salad, buffet option including 2 entrees (add’l entree-$7pp) plus 2 sides (add’l sides $3pp), cookies, coffee/tea. Bar/wedding cake were additional. This was in NYC and we had to use the in-house caterer. I assumed all venues would include multiple options on a buffet, that’s sort of the point of a buffet, isn’t it? TBH, the plated option was minimally more expensive and I assume that was because they needed more servers. We had the plated option, so I can’t tell you whether more than two entrees would have been ideal/necessary, but I would sure expect more than one on a buffet.
However, I provided the dessert (MOB paid for the rest of the catering) and we did not have a wedding cake. However, the venue first insisted that I pay a pp cost for an assortment of bite-sized desserts. I knew that would be overkill, since we also had a gelato cart and a doughnut display. It wasn’t easy, but I negotiated with the venue/in-house caterer to allow me to order dessert for 75% of our head count - trust me, we still had leftovers.
I’m sure you don’t want to reveal too many details, but I’m curious whether this venue is in the Twin Cities or in the smallish town where your D lives (based on a previous post).
My D is also getting married in just over a year but in the city where she lives which is 1400 miles away, so I am not too involved in the planning. However, we will be holding a celebration here for those who can’t make it to the wedding, which I will likely be planning myself. I’ve been checking out venues/restaurants/caterers, but it’s too early to make any decisions since I really don’t know yet what kind of numbers to expect. I found a space I really like, but a new restaurant recently took over the building and I’m not too impressed with the menu choices. They allow outside caterers if you pay a room rental charge, but they’re still compiling the list of “approved caterers”, so I’ll just wait and see if I like any of those options.
And congratulations @cap, sounds like a lovely day!
My s and dil had a plated dinner at their wedding and had one entree option. They did have choices as far as allergies and vegetarian but other than that it was chicken for everyone. No choices and that was how this caterer did it. The kids looked at other caterers but went with this one.
The caterer used to own a restaurant, one that was well known in the area for their fine dining and food. They shut down the restaurant and turned it into an events center but also did other venues. Everything was locally sourced and even the bread was baked by the chef and made the pasta.
I was not making the decision, s and dil did but never even thought about the only one entree decision.
It was by far the best food I’ve ever had at a wedding or banquet. And I’m not saying that because it was my kids wedding.
There was a plated salad with homemade salad dressing, chicken with a sauce and pasta with vegetables, bread. The vegetarians got just the pasta and I know there was someone who didn’t have sauce on the chicken because of an allergy.
There was also a table with appetizers before the meal, 4 items I think.
Congrats, @cap! And @toledo, looking forward to hearing the outcome of your conversations with the owner of the catering company and the venue. That definitely sounds off.
@TCMom This venue is in the Twin Cities.
@toledo we had a band. It was terrific. Not any louder than a DJ. But if you are concerned about costs…it’s more expensive for a band. We had a five piece band.
Read your contract with the venue. You might be able to cancel and not lose too much.
@toledo In that case, I’m surprised at some of their policies. If they were the only game in town, they could probably get away with more!
Has anyone seen good alternatives to parent participation when someone has a disabled parent? I’m thinking of walking down the aisle, dances, toasts, etc. How to make them feel very included? Also interested in the dynamics of bride/groom with very large/micro families. Not wanting anyone to feel swamped or ignored. Asking for a friend 
It doesn’t matter how large or small a family is…it’s very hard to have meaningful conversations with everyone at a wedding with even a medium sized number. We had 125, and we went to each table…but that’s not exactly meaningful conversation!
In terms of the person with a disability…that person does what they can. If they need a cane, wheelchair, scooter or walker to go down the aisle…so be it. Just do what they need.
Not sure what problem there could be with a toast…if one parent is unable to speak, then the other can do so.
Dances…you know…there is no requirement to do any special dances at any wedding.
A parent-child dance is but one way to pay tribute to a parent. I have enjoyed weddings where the bride and groom have thanked their guests for coming and acknowledged their parents at some point in the reception. In situations where there may be physical limitations or temperaments that prefer not to dance, it can be an opportunity to take a few steps back from traditions and focus on what you want to convey, whatever is done. There is always a way to honor important participants. Weddings are delightfully personal now, better to go with that than focus on what others may be doing.