DD was married in June this year. A well-regarded videographer was hired and all went well until the wedding was over. Once the likely date of film in hand came and went, efforts to reach company proved futile for weeks. Long story short: a perfect storm of technical difficulties with our film (“human error”) and an otherwise attentive office manager out on sick leave combined to make the situation quite problematic. Without a request, all payments were returned and we received as much as film as possible given that the problem was with the main camera with the best sound and most stable videography. Disappointing, yet better than nothing. All this to say, if there is anything you know ahead of time you will be bereft to miss, perhaps designate someone to capture it somehow. Even a smart phone video may mean something as a back up. I found the day itself so busy that I looked forward to seeing it on film more than anticipated.
My groom and bride are feeling panicky because their guest list is on the small side (110) and what if half the people dont come and we have an empty reception?!?!?!! I said they shouldnt be thinking pad the guest list, it will be fine no matter what. They seem to think the norm is half your invites dont show. Is that correct?
Food choices are underway, attendants accepted. They are thinking of playing some games at the reception before the first dance, because so many of their friends are not dancing people and they dont want them to feel bored. Bride has chosen origami flowers for bouquets and they are just adorable.
“They seem to think the norm is half your invites dont show. Is that correct?”
My own experience with a guest list that size is vast majority did say yes, because we didn’t invite superfluous people in the first place. I would think smaller lists have a higher acceptance percentage because it is more carefully crafted.
Either way, I’d rather spend the wedding day with a smaller group of people who are very important to me than a larger group of people I felt less close to.
How many show depends on how many are free and how difficult/expensive it is to get to the venue. The Band G can certainly check with these friends early and casually see if they are available.
@greenbutton, S1 and DIL had a bunch of board games because their friends were fellow introverts. Worked out well.
My niece and husband had a cornhole game (my sister painted/made bags in the theme colors) and a giant Jenga game (five feet tall). There were some other games which I don’t remember, but can ask her if you are interested.
@greenbutton, when bride and groom were fresh out of college, marrying in their hometown, and much of guest list was comprised of parents’ friends, I think a lower acceptance rate was common. As we see more couples marrying in their late 20s/early 30s and the guest list is largely their friends, I think the acceptance rate has increased. At least, that’s how things seemed to go with my kids. I think they had around 70-75% of invited guests show up.
About 75% of our guests attended. We had quite a few out of town invitees who couldn’t make it. And 2 people who just didn’t show on the day of the wedding.
Our couple invited 175, some of them courtesy invites to groom’s extended family overseas. They were aiming for 140 guests max and landed right there for the almost final count. Two weeks before the wedding, there was an untimely and unexpected death in the groom’s extended family. That reduced attendance by 15 people. 125 it was. That was an unusual situation.
A wedding of any size is a special event for those attending and participating. No need to pad a guest list. Our venue could have seated 125 more people than we had. It was beautifully laid out, felt warm and comfortable, not vast and empty.
This is a timely thread. I expect my son to be disappointed, as his bride wants an evening wedding, which means Sunday night. Most of our family won’t come, as there is school and work the next day.
My son and dil invited around 130 and I think had 80 attend. Unfortunately it was many of the brides family and friends. They all had various excuses, including her grandparents who wouldn’t attend. They are in good enough shape to come north to visit every year but wouldn’t come for her wedding. It cast a pall over the wedding. Some people will excuse them but it was still hurtful.
We had less people but everyone who came had a good time. The friends of the bride and groom liked to play board games and did at the rehearsal dinner but came to the wedding, had a great time and everyone danced. There is something about a wedding that makes people do things they don’t usually do.
There were friends of the bride who decided to be no shows after saying yes. I felt terrible as the wife of the matron of honor is very shy and no one at her table showed up. Once the wedding party showed up, she moved but I felt terrible and I know my dil was pretty annoyed.
Such great input, thank you! I myself thought it was odd to assume almost half your guests wouldn’t show, and I was married so long ago I can’t remember. I think they have read too much Knot lately. They are having a lot of fun planning , though. She has a dear friend who is a professional seamstress who is making the dress as a gift, and the train will be embroidered with various meaningful symbols. They are the first of their cohort to marry, and their friends are excited to get together.
I never will understand the people that respond one way and do the opposite. The young may not understand the time and money that goes into planning an event; still no excuse. This happened at my oldest Bar Mitzvah as my husband wanted to invite his office staff. I had them all sit together at a table with another hospital worker as they knew each other in passing. Nine of the ten did not show, so I had the solo person squeeze in to another table once I realized what had happened. Lets just say those people were not invited when my daughter was a Bat Mitzvah!
I had a similar experience with DH’S OFFICEMATES. they RSVP’D to both the luncheon and the nighttime party, but MANY no-showed for the sit down dinner and we had a few empty tables. I was pissed.
Yes, SIL had 2 officemates who RSVPed yes, indicated earlier in the week of the wedding that they were coming, then didn’t show. No explanation after, either.
I think D1 invited around 200 and 175 came. There was no no-show that I was aware of. We had few people who were going to be there Fri night, but came Sat afternoon for the wedding. There was one young man, long time friend of D1, who was opening a new restaurant (his own) on Sat, drove 4 hours Sat afternoon to get in on time for the reception then drove another 4 hours back after the reception.
We didn’t invite any officemates or anyone who didn’t know the bride/groom too well.
