Are you providing transportation to the wedding and other events? If so, you would want them to stay where it is convenient for pick up and drop off.
They may truly not care to inspect hotels or restaurants. Why not pick a nice place near the wedding venue for the rehearsal dinner and go ahead with your own plans for that? Pick a nice nearby hotel for yourself and see about a block for your closest family and friends count and leave the rest to the B&G. If the kids come through with better ideas later, you can change your reservations. Or not. But you and your closest are covered. If this is far enough off, if invitations aren’t going out soon, your friends & family won’t be booking soon.
This way, you get to do your part. It’s like a lot we go through with them.
You are all so right. If the kids don’t care about the hotel, then why don’t they ask her parents to look and choose? Would it be too forward of me to ask the MOB for suggestions of a downtown restaurant?
My nephew got married in Bermuda because that’s where the bride was from. My sister asked the MOB for a venue for the welcome party. The MOB suggested their country club because of discount they would receive. My sister was the one who decided on the menu and time.
Yes, I think it is perfectly reasonable to ask MOB. But on the other hand, if they are so lackadaisical, you may be better off in doing your own research.
D2 found a place for her sister’s bridal shower via Yelp and we lived in NYC.
Chances are, if MOB is leaning back, you wont get much help from her on this.
Where is this? Why not just start your research based on a good local hotel. They likely cater to large parties or weddings. Unless this is very remote.
Better off asking the wedding coordinator. That family is laid back.
When is the date? And the ceremony venue may offer ideas based on their experiences with others.
I’ve decided that some people are a disorganized mess. I’m not, I like to get things done. It annoys me when I’m a part of someone else’s no plan, planning.
My sympathy.
I also think that some young people think that they can do everything without ever talking to a person. That everything can be done online and without human interaction. My kids seem to think that talking on the phone or (gasp) actually talking to people is something to avoid most of the time. It drives me nuts.
I think everyone on CC is a control freak and very organized.
I disappeared for a while. I went to The Knot to look for suggestions. At least 15 came up.
If anyone knows downtown Chicago, PM me.
Do you know if the couple wants a rehearsal dinner, or at least a formal one? I think it is time to ask your son for some details, and tell him that you want this taken care of by XXX (February? Easter?)
I think one of my daughters will be getting engaged at Christmas and the other will follow shortly after. I won’t be involved in planning either, the first because it will be so small that there will be no planning and the second because it will be so large that it will require Meghan Markle’s organizer. No relatives on my side so I don’t care about hotels or dinners or gift bags. Both grooms have mothers who will do it all.
Our MOB is happy inded about the marriage – but does not want to have anything to do with the wedding planning. Bride and I have done most of the intial research as a pair, with me very very consciousnthat at some point, surely MOB will change things. I too would like to have more done, and have bitten my tongue more since the engagement than I did his whole adolescence. No decor decisions (but lights, etc are all on sale post holiday!,) No organist, no pastoral meeting set up, one course correction about the rehearsal dinner that they took quite well. But sometimes it is like pushing a noodle uphill ?
I only know downtown Chicago from a short visit (wonderful city.) So many great options. It’s an “eating city.”
At this point, I wouldn’t expect too much input from any of those players. Plan what YOU want. Plan what you want for your friends and family needs and other guests can fall into those plans. If you find a rehearsal dinner restaurant near the ceremony venue, people will already have that spot in their heads, be looking for a near enough hotel.
All you really need to know is how many. 30 or 150?
Personally, 150 sounds like a wedding reception, to me, not a casual last night before. I still don’t get the idea of inviting every single guest to a pre-reception reception. But that’s me.
When you know how many, find a place that can be flexible about casual (buffet, simpler table deco, etc,) or add the candles and cloth napkins if it deeds to be dressier.
Talk to the coordinator about the fact you may need to be the Lone Ranger on this. Good luck,
My D vetoed inviting almost everyone to the night before so it wouldn’t feel like reception 1.0. Groom”s dad can be a little flamboyant. 
Downtown Chicago where? It’s not exactly a tiny place. Is the wedding also in downtown Chicago? If so, maybe the hotel should be near the wedding reception venue, with the rehearsal someplace nearby as well.
You know…you can reserve a block of rooms yourself.
Downtown Chicago is rather large. Are the wedding and reception in the same venue? You will have to consider transportation for all involved, especially for those who are not from the city. Ideal would be to have everything within walking distance. Also, major events and conventions happen frequently, and hotels get snapped up or rates will be very high. I probably missed it, but when is the wedding?
They spoke of somewhere near the Magnificient Mile, the navy pier, and other places of interest. The venue is a few miles west. (Probably Uber there). The venue suggested several hotels, which were in the River North area, so that is where i concentrated. I got a few quotes for a block of rooms. The hotel which had a very responsive event planner was the one I set up the tentative appointment with. The “kids” did call her, but I have no,idea why they didn’t go and look. Anyway, I want the rehearsal dinner in walking distance from the hotel. Also, I’d like the brunch in the hotel.
I’m calmer now than I was when I first posted, thanks to the CC community.
You’re doing this right, doing what you can. I suspect the kids just don’t want to get so detail oriented as to look at hotels.
For the record, I stayed at the Marriott/Blackstone, 636 Michigan (Mag Mile, not to be confused with another Marriott on Mich Ave.) My room had a gorgeous view of the lake and think I could see the pier. Practically next to the HIlton and others. The Hop On bus is a few minutes walk (worth it, if one has time,) Art Inst is near.
Chicago is the sort of place where any one thing a guest does is great. I went up the Hancock tower and the views are spectacular. Practically 360 degrees.
Wouldn’t count on Uber to have enough cars available just when you need them. If your group will need transpo, ask the hotel the hotel about arranging a set of taxis.
I could see it being imperative to pin down blocks of hotels if you are having a wedding in a remote area with limited options or on a specific weekend that has a huge competing event in town but I don’t think it is a necessity for most weddings especially in major cities. Ditto on arranging transportation, IMO. Back in the day, I don’t remember wedding couples arranging that level of detail and weddings still went off fine.
@bookworm I think you might have to make peace with the fact that the wedding just might not go off the way you would like and just go with the flow, for better or worse. If it was me, I wouldn’t want to risk alienating your son and future daughter-in-law by pushing an agenda that they don’t seem to be on board with. Maybe they’ll address it eventually, maybe not. As a planner type myself, I can sympathize with your frustration, though.
@bookworm, when my S and DIL got married in NYC I offered to organize the hotel because the MOB lived in the city and wasn’t really thinking about the out-of-town guests, many of which were our family. My kids were willing to look after I gave them a choice of three options and they picked one. They picked the smallest hotel, but the staff worked with me to provide a light but comfortable morning after breakfast for our guests. This hotel was nowhere near the rehearsal dinner and people found their own way there. We did have busses to the wedding venue directly from the hotel. It worked out well, but I do understand the position of MOG…it’s hard for those of us who like to know all the details.
As for Chicago, I’ve been to a couple of weddings/Bat Mitzvahs/college graduations there and for a large city, everything is pretty close unless your event is in the suburbs. We’ve stayed at the Holiday Inn Merchandize Mart for a wedding in Wicker Park, the Whitehall for a wedding in Hyde Park, and the Hotel Lincoln for a Bat Mitzvah near Navy Pier . We never had an issue getting cabs or Ubers, regardless of where the events were being held.
Thx all. Runners,om, hotel Lincoln was one of the 3 I got prices for and sent to the “kids”. Some reviews Said it was run down. It was on the list from the wedding venue.
Reasonably priced hotels in Chicago often are a bit run down, in my experience. 