My Mom is the one who is worried about not having a shower - she’s from a time/place where the groom’s family should have the shower, lest we be perceived as not welcoming the bride. Bride, Groom and I have all assured her it is fine to not have one, particularly considering how far apart the couples’ friends are geographically.
I have months still to work out accomodations for the bridal party. The hotel is fine, some will stay with us, MOB is expected to stay someplace she finds better than whatever is chosen, make a fuss, and show up late for everything.
Just a note on Azazie, D2’s dress didn’t fit when she got it (too snug, and D1 and I helped measure her and order it, so it really did run smallish). She was able to return it and get another size (and she ended up getting a different style as well), I think we paid the shipping. I think it probably was a different dye lot, but you’d never have known. So we were able to return and get a new bridesmaid dress with little hassle with Azazie. As far as I know, none of the other bridesmaids needed to return/exchange.
@greenbutton, maybe your mother (mil?) could host a small tea instead of a shower to welcome the bride to your family. No one would feel bad because she couldn’t make it to a shower yet the relatives who care will feel like an effort was made.
Sister’s niece used Azazie and the bridesmaids ordered over a 2 month period. Each style was different, and if the dye lots were different you couldn’t tell at all. Her color was cabernet.
I suggest trying on the samples. Most have been true to size, but one was small and one ran large. You can order a swatch to see the exact color. They all seem to run long (D2 is 5’10 and hers will need hemming as she doesn’t want to wear a heel.)
She already has swatches for Azazie, I think if she goes with them she will go with Cabernet. If the dresses are that long they will need a lot of hemming. I think only 2 of the 6 bridesmaids are over 5’5.
I like the idea of a tea. Years ago my MIL hosted a luncheon in my honor. No gifts just a chance to welcome me to the family and to meet some of her longtime friends. I still remember it fondly.
The tea suggestion is a nice one, yet not workable in our situation. The geography of bride/groom/besties/family makes any get-together really problematic, and I think if the bride/groom don’t care, then the grandmothers need to respect that.
While I’m here — what are your favorite little details from memorable weddings? We were at one this summer and for the first time got a little welcome bag at the hotel, from the bride and groom. It was really nice to feel like they were glad to have us. So we want to do that! What have you done or seen?
@greenbutton… Goskid #1 did welcome bags with local map, schedule of events, water bottles, mints, pretzels, advil packs and other stuff (can’t remember). It works for hotels where room blocks of guests…opted to have the front desk hand out during check in. (Could have had them put in rooms…but hotels wanted $3-5 per bag to deliver – nope, not for 150 bags…)
I think our favorite little details were a little meet and greet we held at the hotel the night before the wedding…and the brunch afterward. We actually were able to talk to people a little more.
The only goodie bags at my daughter’s wedding were for the children who were attending, and the kids found them when they got to their seats at the reception. Anything to keep the little ones busy for long enough for Mom and Dad to get something to eat.
There was a big discussion about hospitality/welcome bags upthread. My s/DIL initially resisted, but I felt it was the right thing to do for guests to help welcome them and make them feel comfortable, and they were a huge hit. Many of the guests were their friends from college, and several of the things in the bag (at the request of s/dil) were junk food items they ate in college, and it was a great bit of nostalgia. They also appreciated the little hangover bags (bandaids, advil packs, tums and something else— I forget). The bag also had a welcome letter with the general schedule of the weekend. I highly recommend bags.
DD’s wedding was oceanside, with ceremony and cocktail hour outside, weather permitting. We had pashminas available for guests in a basket by the ceremony. They were all enjoyed, even though it wasn’t chilly.
D1’s wedding was at her alma mater and most guests had to travel far to attend. We hosted a wine tasting tour around the region for anyone who showed up on Thu (wedding on Sat). We were surprised how many people came for the long weekend. The wine tour was a nice kick off for the weekend. We also lucked out for the brunch on Sun. It was a beautiful morning, so our guests were able to enjoy the courtyard at the B&B we stayed at. D1 and I went out for lunch last weekend and we walked down the memory lane a bit. There was so much about her wedding that we really enjoyed. I think because it was a long weekend, we felt we got to spend time with many of our guests.
Goodie bags at the hotel: We are thinking about skipping them and instead are thinking about renting a suite to use as a hospitality suite for people to gather. It would be stocked with beverages and snacks. We would give each guest a card at check in with the room number for the suite.
@Mom22039 - interesting idea. DD did that on a much smaller scale by booking rooms for her bridal party, (two couples, one family of 5, plus two singles). She and the two singles shared a two bedroom suite (of course she was elsewhere for the wedding night). The suite with living room/kitchenette was a great gathering place for friends and was well stocked. Only the occupants and other bridesmaids had keys.
My S just recently got engaged, and I have a question for all you experienced wedding planners.
S and his fiancee met in HS. We have since moved away from the area, but H has family about an 1.5 hour drive from where we used to live/where the bride’s family still lives.
They have selected a wedding venue that is almost an hour south of where the bride’s family lives and where H’s family lives (about 50 miles). It’s an event space where you rent it for the day of the wedding.
So, how does the rehearsal work? Do you find someplace else to go over the logistics with the wedding party, since we won’t have access to the actual space until the day of?
We’ll also need to find a location for the rehearsal dinner - there is a town that’s about 35-40 minutes from each of the 3 locations (bride’s family, H’s family, and wedding venue) that could be a good location; lots of nice restaurants. But I don’t know if a restaurant would have space for an actual rehearsal or if we’d just need to ad lib.
When my D graduated from college, they had a graduation rehearsal but since it was raining, they held it indoors, while the actual graduation was outdoors. The area indoors was configured differently, so when they actually graduated, there was a lot of confusion with the procession and it ended up being a mess (luckily they all laughed about it). I would like to avoid this from happening at the wedding.
Congratulations!!! Welcome to the club.
Are you all staying around the venue or do you plan on driving there on the day of? Where would your guests be staying? If the bridal party and you are checking in to a hotel around the venue the it would make sense to have the rehearsal dinner around there. I think you should be able to arrange a time during the day (before) to do your rehearsal. It may be early in the morning/afternoon for an hour for you to walk through.
@oldfort - I’m not sure where we/the guests will be staying. Not to be a snob, but the only hotel options in the town where the wedding venue is are hotels like Super 8 and Econo Lodge. I am looking on Airbnb and there is only one place in the town (a one bedroom apartment) but there is a house with 3 bedrooms in another town about 20 minutes away, which we could look into for the night before/night of the wedding. Many of their friends will be from the town we used to live in (that’s 50 miles away) and still have family there so I don’t know if they will get a hotel. We plan to stay with H’s family for a couple of days before the wedding itself.